If anything depression has taught me, it’s the ability to embrace the unknown, the ability to rationalize the fear, and stay present. To me, that means staying curious, staying non-judgmental, and knowing that life is a miracle.
Different from meditation where I struggle to stay focused, diving is a focus itself to me. I wrote down some of my experience here to share with you.
Xiaojie
Valletta, Malta 2011
11th May 2017 @ Beijing
Author | Xiaojie
The Ocean
Fear tenses up as I lose sight of the shore
The unknown
Excitement rises as the boundaries disappear
The unknown
My soul pumps for undefined shapes
Santorini, Greece, 2011
The air running through my hair
The sun light dancing on my skin
The clouds are my new best friends
The water, the water splashing into the boat
It’s not part of my life
But rather,
I am part of his
Sitting at the edge of the boat
My body thinks I am crazy
It tenses up
Then my mind speaks
“We need to take a leap of faith”
Subic, the Philippines, 2014
Leaning back
I dive in
When my lips touch the ocean
When my eyes see the brightness of the dark ocean
I give in
There I am
A human being in the fish tank
Breathing in and out of my mouth
Hearing the sound of the ocean from within
My breath is right there
Creating a space water free
My body is right there
Like a child struggling to take a first step
And my heart beat
The given heart beat
It’s so reassuring that I am humbled
Bali, Indonesia 2016
Descending
I look up
The bubbles carry my thoughts back up
The light softens to give me space to be with myself
It’s only until that I am with myself
That I empty the air a bit more
I go a little deeper
The magic is to begin
(to be continued)
