October 5, 2019

In Sep 2015, I went visit NYC and friends there. As I was walking in China Town, I passed a fire fighter station. Growing up watching American TV shows, fire station to me is an immediate attraction. So as a tourist visiting for the first time, it caught my eyes. In the mean time, I was on my 42-day abs yoga challenge too. As part of the routine, every day I would post a yoga picture after I finish my practice.

So for just a se...

September 19, 2019

You are in China. You have depression. You feel all alone. You want to check out. I don’t know who you are. But I know what you are going through, because I have been there. You may think nobody cares, but I do.


On this year’s World Suicide Prevention day (9/10), I wrote this poem for those…

whose light is dimmed by depression,

for those who feel so much pain and despair, and are ready to go,

for those whose life hangs by a strin...

April 9, 2018

Third year completed!

Today marks the third year anniversary of CandleX. Instead of an article specifically written for the audience, it seems to be more like one of my journal entries: I decided to just let my thoughts flow.

The CandleX media platform is for public education, raising awareness, and publishing newsletters regarding recent events or outstanding achievements. I am truly grateful and proud that we’ve been running f...

August 10, 2017

If anything depression has taught me, it’s the ability to embrace the unknown, the ability to rationalize the fear, and stay present. To me, that means staying curious, staying non-judgmental, and knowing that life is a miracle.

Different from meditation where I struggle to stay focused, diving is a focus itself to me. I wrote down some of my experience here to share with you.


June 21, 2017

 Nha Trang, Vietnam

27th May 2017

Nha Trang, Vietnam

It is a special day today. I have lived 3 more years.

I’ve had 3 more years to witness the miracle that life is.

Winter in Beijing strips everything down.

I saw the leaves leaving the tree.

The trunks stand alone in the frozen cold winter.

It looks dead,

But you know life will return when spring comes.

I didn't know I would come back.

3 years ago, during my epic depressive episode,

My v...

May 8, 2017

Xiaojie Qin
Founder and Executive Director of CandleX

To my dearest CandleXers,

The last time I wrote a personal email to CandleX’s followers and friends was about July 2016.

When I first started CandleX, I used to write a newsletter that was sent out to everyone who had ever been in contact with us.

Sometimes, it was my story,

Sometimes, it was about our new initiatives,

Other times, it was about my reflections on life.

The first fr...

September 2, 2016

In February this year, I wrote the following email about my personal story of a breakup. Today, I’d like to share this story with you, and encourage all who are going through difficult times or breakups to remember that you can find a way through the sadness or depression, and that peace will ultimately shine through.

Dear CandleXers,

Just this week, I found out that my ex-boyfriend has married the woman that he started dating a...

July 7, 2016

A letter from Xiaojie, Founder and Executive Director  | CandleX

Dear friends of CandleX,

Below is a handwritten letter to our CandleX email subscribers. I wrote it in June a few weeks ago in northern Thailand at my meditation retreat, where there’s no phone, no Internet, just stillness and reflection.

When CandleX first began, we didn’t have WeChat for the entire first year. Everything was communicated in the old fashi...

June 11, 2016

Autumn of 2015, I was visiting New York City. I joined a walking tour, and the very interesting guide took us to one of the sites: The 911 Memorial. This is a very interesting memorial, instead of building something that goes upwards, the designers chose to build something that goes down into the earth.

The water falls into this seemingly endless hole. As I looked down, a sense of loss, unknown, and confusion arose.

After that,...

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