Rose's Breakthrough | Internal Family Systems Therapy (2)

The article was written by the author in English, and translated by Deepseek to Chinese. 文章由作者用英文撰写，后经Deepseek翻译成中文，作者校对后发表。中文版在页面第二部分。

Author: Xiaojie Qin

2025.08 Beijing

(With client’s consent to share)

About Rose

December 2023. Rose (name changed), a woman in her late 40s, came to see me through recommendations. She presented as what I call an "advanced client"—who had not only built a stable life as a Beijing expat, but had done the hard work of personal growth for years. The immediate trigger was the rupture of a decade-long friendship that had served as an emotional anchor.

"I've worked on my somatic system before—it really helped," she told me in that first session, demonstrating the self-awareness. Rose knew her psychology basics, could articulate her presenting issues, and key childhood background, and had clearly benefited from previous therapeutic work.

We worked for 9 months together, which she showed up: consistently punctual, deeply engaged in our rhythm of sessions, and with that gold combination of kindness and determination that predicts therapeutic progress. Her resourcefulness wasn't just impressive—it was the foundation we'd build on.

Joyful Progress

Our work together progressed quickly. We began by addressing the grief surrounding the close friendship loss that had initially brought her to therapy. As we moved forward, we turned our focus to her lifelong anxiety using Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), targeting two core themes: "I am responsible", which improved her boundary setting abilities through reduction of fear, and "I am in danger" - both rooted in her fundamental belief that "the world is dangerous.", which caused anxiety associated with hyper-vigilance (significant childhood trauma).

Rose responded remarkably well to the reprocessing. Each session concluded with her SUD （Subjective Units of Disturbance）scores dropping to 0, and she reported tangible improvements in her daily life: her sleep quality increased, the nightmares reduced, and she experienced moments of unexpected joy. "I just felt this pure joy in my heart," she shared during one session, "something I hadn't felt in years." During this time, after a decade of being single, Rose entered a new relationship. Witnessing these changes filled me with that particular satisfaction unique to our profession.

A Therapeutic Impasse

"I feel on the edge of big shifts," she told me. While we celebrated our therapy progress, yet, one persistent challenge remained, a source of deep frustration for both Rose and I.

Now we arrived at the third and last stage of our journey - the moment to revisit what I'd noted in Session 8 but set aside. (As a therapist who values structure, I often park issues that don't directly relate to our current focus.) Back then, Rose had mentioned: "When I try to do one thing, my mind does the opposite."

Being exceptionally committed to her therapeutic work, Rose diligently practiced the mindful exercises I assigned – guided imagery to be precise, which we worked on both in sessions and as homework. Yet despite her efforts, she kept encountering the same obstacles when doing visualization: "You (your guidance) are far ahead, and I am still trying to get up," she'd report, "my ankles tangled in vines," or "I keep tripping on the path." Her frustration grew with each failed attempt, mirroring my own professional puzzlement. What made this especially perplexing was that Rose could visualize easily when self-directed; it was only during guided imagery that she struggled. Even across different EMDR reprocessing themes, her visualizations consistently followed a similar arc: beginning with darkness and ending with light.

Connecting these dots proved challenging. We'd uncovered something profound yet elusive. Therapy, I reminded myself, isn't about having immediate answers - it's a process of carefully testing hypotheses, session by session, like navigating a maze where the treasure is deeper understanding. Both exhilarating and daunting.

Using Parts: IFS at Work

Having tried almost everything else I had, I decided to give ‘parts work’ (I sometimes use this term to refer to IFS, as many other practitioners do) a whirl, applying it to our guided imagery experience, which Rose struggles with, and just see how that would go. The next few sessions, we took a very focused approach, a process with guided imagery work together as center piece, while I blend that with IFS’s parts approach.

Stairs and the Second Room

"Close your eyes. I’ll count from 10 to 1 to guide you walking down a stair case of 10 steps." I guided.

"1, and you reach the bottom and you are in a room."

I borrowed the classic guided imagery exercises from hypnosis. I flavored it with a door that opens up to another room.

"You’ll see there’s a door in this room. Go over there, and open it. What do you see?"

In three sessions, we kept using the same guided imagery. Rose's descent was anything but smooth. Her feet caught on invisible obstacles, her balance wavered as if the stairs themselves resisted her. Something nasty was at play. It was so easy to assume that part as a "messer," a "meddler." When she finally reached the room—it was dark. The door within that room opened only to reveal more darkness. This darkness was so consistent in all the visualization work we do.

"No matter how earnestly you try to follow instructions, there's a part of you that consistently pushes back with equal force," I commented.

Rose sat with this observation for a while, then remembered her childhood home—a place where every truth came in competing versions. "Grandma said one thing, Mom said another. I never learned how to tell which was right." Her voice carried the lingering confusion of that little girl who'd been given contradictory compasses. "So what you are saying is that you’ve been trying to meet an expectation which you don’t even know what that is." I paraphrased and summarized what Rose said, a malfunctioning intermediate belief (yes, a CBT term. Learn more: Xiaojie on Cognitive Behavior Therapy: A Therapist's Honest Take). In this session, it revealed that young Rose had learned to police her own innocent thoughts ("Jesus has a penis"—immediately followed by "That's wrong to think that!"), to avoid ‘hell's punishment’ (growing up with a grandma that’s ‘deeply religious’) for mental slips she couldn't control. 

"I'm supposed to..." was resisted.

I thought to myself:What if the element that prevents her from following the guidance—this "I am supposed to"—isn't a villain, but a part of her that's crying to be seen, that requires freedom from the 'rules'?

In our next session, we returned to the Stairs and the Second Room imagery—this time I blended it with a parts work approach. As Rose began the visualization, I guided her to identify the distinct aspects of herself at play:

First emerged the Trying Part—the diligent follower executing each instruction precisely, determined to "do it right." Then came the Critic Part, that internal judge demanding perfect compliance. "Could this part take a break in the waiting room?" I suggested, invoking our pre-established safe space with music and cake—an environment we'd tested in prior sessions where her Critic Part (thinking self) could relax.

Then we turned to the vines and barriers that typically triggered Rose's frustration. "What if," I offered gently, "you stop and take a look at them with compassion and curiosity."

The Protector Part revealed itself as Rose described a sensation like cement blocks—heavy, immovable.

“What does this block say?” I asked.

"Stop!" Rose replied.

"I don't know why, but I feel so sad," she said with trembling voice, and cried. Never in our session, Rose showed any strong emotions previously.

"What does this part look like, and what does it need?" I asked.

The image clarified:

"Young... It just wants to be held." Rose replied.

“Does your body feel any special sensations?” I asked.

“My chest and core area are tingling”. Rose said.

The cement wasn't an obstacle; it was a frozen child, armored in stone. I took a long pause, giving them some time.

Two weeks later, in what would become our final session together, we revisited the Stairs and the Second Room exercises once more. This time, Rose descended with newfound ease. Along the way, she encountered that young part again—the one we'd uncovered weeks before—and without hesitation, she gathered it into her arms with tender care.

When the moment came to open the door, her voice lifted with quiet wonder: "It's bright now. There are birds... and trees."

There it was—the shift on the edge had turned. I smiled, and so did Rose

Disclaimer: 

• I wrote this article in English. I used Deepseek to translate my writing from English to Chinese as a draft, which I use to finalize the Chinese version of my article.

• I worked with Deepseek for one purpose of editorial role: to refine this article - improving grammar, clarifying ideas, and smoothing the flow - while carefully preserving my personal voice, therapeutic perspective, and original intent. All therapeutic insights and opinions remain my own. 

心理咨询师治疗师: 秦小杰

2025年8月北京

从黑暗到光明：一位来访者的意象转变｜内在家庭系统疗法（2）

(经来访者授权分享)

关于蕊芬（化名）2023年12月，年近五十的蕊芬经人推荐找到我。她是我所说的"高领悟力来访者"——在北京居住多年建立了稳定生活的外国人，她一直持续进行深度自我成长。讲她推向咨询室的导火索，是她一段维系数十年的支柱性友谊的破裂。

"我之前做过躯体疗法，效果很好。" 首次会谈时她这样说道，言语间透着清醒的自我觉察。蕊芬具备心理学基础知识，能清晰表述主诉问题与关键童年经历，此前的心理咨询也显然令她获益。

我们共同工作了九个月。这段日子里，她总是准时赴约，深度投入每一次会谈，兼具温和与坚韧的特质——这种黄金组合往往是疗愈进展的预示。她的资源丰富性不仅令人印象深刻，更成为我们工作的基石。

让我惊喜的咨询进展

我们的咨询工作进展迅速。最初我们处理的是促使她前来咨询的那段重要友谊破裂带来的哀伤。随着咨询推进，我们通过眼动脱敏与再加工治疗（EMDR）聚焦于她长期存在的焦虑问题，主要针对两个核心主题：

一是"我必须负责"——这个主题的改善显著提升了她的边界设定能力，恐惧感明显减轻；

二是"我身处危险"——她童年遭受过严重创伤，所以她的潜意识里会有"世界很危险"的基本信念，这种信念导致她长期处于过度警觉的焦虑状态。

蕊芬对咨询的反应令人欣喜。每次眼动身心重建疗法（EMDR）会谈结束后，她的主观困扰程度（SUD）评分都降至0分，日常生活中也出现了切实改善：睡眠质量提高、噩梦减少，甚至开始体验到久违的快乐时刻。"我感受到一种纯粹的喜悦从心底涌出，"她在某次会谈中分享，"我已经很多年没有这种感觉了。"在此期间，单身十年的蕊芬也开始了一段新恋情。作为咨询师，见证这些转变带来的满足感，是这个职业独有的馈赠。

咨询中的瓶颈

"我能感受到，我生命即将会有一个重大转。"她这样告诉我。虽然我们为咨询进展欢欣鼓舞，但一个顽固的困境始终存在，成为蕊芬和我共同深感挫败的根源。

此刻，我们来到了咨询旅程的第三阶段，也是最终章——是时候重新审视我在第八次咨询中记录却暂未处理的问题了。（作为注重咨询过程结构的咨询师，我常将那些与当下焦点不直接相关的议题暂时搁置。）当时蕊芬曾说："每当我想做某件事时，我的思维总背道而驰。"

对咨询极其投入的蕊芬，始终认真完成我布置的冥想练习——具体而言是引导性意象训练，我们在咨询中演练，她也坚持作为家庭作业。然而尽管竭尽全力，相同的阻碍总反复出现："您（的引导）已经走得很远，而我还在原地挣扎，"她会这样描述，"脚踝被藤蔓缠绕"，或是"在小径上反复跌倒"。每次受挫都加剧着她的沮丧，也折射出我作为咨询师的困惑。最令人费解的是，蕊芬在自主意象中表现自如，唯独在引导意象时举步维艰。即便在不同主题的EMDR再加工过程中，她的意象也始终遵循相似轨迹：始于黑暗，终于光明。

串联这些线索并非易事。我们触碰到某些深邃却难以把握的东西。已经快没耐心的我，提醒自己，咨询本就不是提供即时答案——它是在迷宫中谨慎验证假设的过程，而宝藏正是更深层的理解。这令人既振奋，又敬畏。

运用部分工作：IFS的实践

(经来访者授权分享)

在尝试了几乎所有方法后，我决定试试"部分工作"（我有时会用这个说法来指代IFS，就像许多其他临床工作者那样），将其应用到蕊芬一直很挣扎的引导性意象体验中，看看效果如何。接下来几次咨询，我们采取了非常聚焦的方式，以引导性意象工作为核心过程，同时融入IFS的部分工作方法。

下台阶和门

"闭上眼睛。我会从10倒数到1，引导你走下10级台阶，"我引导到。

"数到1时，你就到达底部，进入一个房间。"我借用了催眠中的经典引导性意象练习，并加入了自己的调整：增加一扇通往另一个房间的门。

"你会看到这个房间里有扇门。走过去，打开它。你看到了什么？"

在三次咨询中，我们持续使用同样的引导性意象。蕊芬的"下行"过程一点也不顺利。她的脚会被看不见的障碍绊住，身体摇晃仿佛楼梯本身在抗拒她。显然有什么东西在作祟。很容易就会把这个部分假设为"捣乱者"、"干扰者"。当她终于到达房间时——里面一片漆黑。房间里的那扇门打开后，露出的仍是黑暗。

"无论你多么认真地尝试遵循指示，总有一个部分在以同样的力度抗拒。"我评论道。

蕊芬沉思了一会儿，然后想起了童年的家——一个每个真相都存在竞争版本的地方。"外婆说一套，妈妈说的又是另一套。我从来不知道哪个是对的。"她的声音里带着那个被给予矛盾指南针的小女孩残留的困惑。"所以你是说，你一直在试图满足一个连你自己都不清楚是什么的期望？"我转述并总结了蕊芬的话，这是一个功能失调的中间信念（是的，一个CBT术语。了解更多，查看小杰撰写的：认知行为疗法：心理咨询师坦白局）。这次咨询揭示出，年幼的蕊芬学会了审查自己天真的想法（"耶稣有小JJ"——立刻跟着"这么想是错的！"），为她无法控制的思想"失误"，为逃避"地狱的惩罚"（成长于一个有着"极度虔诚"外婆的环境）。

"我应该......"遭到了抵抗。我暗自思考：如果阻碍她跟随指引的这个元素——这个"我应该"——不是恶棍，而是一个渴望被看见、需要从'规则'中解脱的部分呢？

在下一次咨询中，我们重新回到下台阶和门意象——这次我将其与部分工作方法相结合。当蕊芬开始意象时，我引导她识别正在运作的不同自我部分：

首先出现的是"尝试部分"——那个一丝不苟执行每个指令、决心"做对"的勤勉追随者。然后是"批评部分"，那个要求完美服从的内在评判者。"这个部分可以去等候室休息吗？"我建议道，调用我们预先建立的、有音乐和蛋糕的安全空间——这个环境我们在之前的咨询中测试过，她的"批评部分"（思考自我）可以在那里放松。

接着我们转向通常会触发蕊芬挫败感的藤蔓和障碍物。"如果，"我温和地提议，"你停下来，带着慈悲和好奇看看它们呢？"

"保护部分"显现出来，蕊芬描述它像水泥块一样——沉重、不可撼动。

“这块水泥在说什么？”我问到。

"停下！"她说。

"我不知道为什么，但我现在觉得非常悲伤，"这句话，她声音颤抖，伴随着一下决堤式的哭声。在我们的咨询中，蕊芬从未展现过如此强烈的情绪。

"这个部分看起来什么样？它需要什么？"我问。

意象变得清晰："它很小...它只想被抱住，"蕊芬回答。

"你的身体有什么特殊感觉吗？" 我接着问道。

"我的胸口和腹部有一阵阵酥麻的电流感。"

那些水泥不是障碍；它们是一个披着石头盔甲的冰冻孩童。我停顿了很长时间，给她们一些空间。

两周后，也是我们最后一次咨询中，我们再次进行了下台阶和门意象练习。这一次，蕊芬的下行过程变得异常轻松。途中，她再次遇见了那个年幼的部分——我们几周前发现的那个——毫不犹豫地，她温柔地将它搂入怀中。

当我引导她第三次来到头脑里的这扇门口，她推开了门，声音带着安静的惊叹："现在很明亮...有鸟儿...还有树。"

就在那里——转折终于发生了。我微笑起来，蕊芬也是。

特别声明：

1.我用英文写作该文章，然后由Deepseek完成英文至中文的翻译。

2.这篇文章在撰写过程中，使用了Deepseek，仅限于编辑润色：对文章进行语法优化、观点澄清及行文流畅性调整，但严格保留我的个人风格、专业理念与核心观点。所有心理咨询见解与立场均出自本人