Want to use your design skills to support mental health?  We are looking for a passionate Graphic Designer (or wanna-be) to help us maintain our visual identity and produce visual materials. About Our Team: You’ll be joining a stable, diverse, and global team of talented, easy-going, and supportive individuals who value professionalism, reliability, and team spirit. We work together to make a difference in the field of mental health in China, and we also believe in having fun, trying new things, and growing together—because happy volunteers are effective volunteers! Key Responsibilities: Design a range of digital materials, including social media graphics, posters, event flyers, and web banners. Help develop and maintain a consistent visual identity for CandleX across all platforms. Create engaging visuals for our WeChat account and website. Support other teams with basic design work as needed. We Offer You: A Portfolio of Real-World Projects:  Gain experience creating designs for a real and impactful cause. A Supportive & Growth-Focused Environment : Personal growth is our key principle. Receive personal growth mentoring from our director,  Xiaojie Qin , an experienced psychotherapist. An opportunity to explore other roles like communications, event organizing, or public speaking. Try new things and find what clicks with you! Better self-awareness and relationship management at work, and a sense of meaning and belonging. Practical Perks: A volunteer certification upon request. Free tickets to our events, and tickets of our partners. We're Looking for Someone Who Is: Able to work  online , make a meaningful contribution with a flexible time commitment of  5-6 hours per month . Reliable, able to work independently, and committed to a  minimum of one year . Has a good eye for layout, color, and typography. If you don’t have sufficient experiences, that’s okay, as long as you are open to learning on the job! Fluent in English (our working language); fluency in Chinese is a plus. Passionate about mental health and community building. We have been supporting teenagers with their mental health, and we strongly encourage teenagers and college students that has an interest in this field to apply! Steps to Apply: Take a look at our website (www.candlex.cn) and WeChat account, for the posters, and illustrations that we currently have. Please send your CV. DISC test:  https://discpersonalitytesting.com/free-disc-test/  choose the free version. If any, a link to your portfolio (or 2-3 design samples) to:  xiaojie.qin@candlex.cn

Updated on September 2025 Moving to a new country, going through a breakup, losing a job, or living with mental conditions are very challenging. Yet, there’s no reason to suffer alone when one can choose to join hands with others and let the power of connection and group support encourage and heal us. In the absence of such social support in Beijing, CandleX established the peer support group in October, 2015, with the goal to provide psychosocial support to Beijing community. It provides a safe and supportive environment for people living in and out of Beijing to share personal thoughts and experiences in small, confidential gatherings. To understand this project, or if yo u’d like to read our 1st , 2nd and 3rd year support group review, please visit https://www.candlex.cn/mental-health-support-group . CandleX Other Available Resources If you are in a crisis, please seek a professional immediately at the same time. You will find useful information on our crisis page . If you’re more interested in how to navigate the mental health world and get more info on how to get support or get treatment, for you or someone you know, please check out our pretreament guidance   program. If you are looking for professional support, you can check out Xiaojie Qin , our director and psychotherapist’s page. Peer Support Key Information Peer support group participants: Our support groups are for people living with mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety or suicide ideation. The support group is especially effective for newcomers who are in situations of lack of social support, experiencing shame and guilt of having depression or people who present an elevated risk of mental illness. Date: Every second and fourth Tuesday of the month (in-person) Time : 19:30-21:00 Location: Near Dongzhimen Beijing (Details will be communicated via WeChat after 4 pm, the day before each meeting) Language: English Max number: 7 people each session Fee: 88rmb, 30rmb for students, financial aid is available for those going through financial difficulties For registration and enquiries, please reach and send a message to the support group coordinator (email: parapraxis_01@yahoo.co.uk WeChat: OU102024 ) Peer Group Principles We gather to share our stories and feelings, help and give each other emotional support when dealing with the difficult emotions，recognize the importance of tending to and promote our own self-care. We use guided meditation and breathing exercises to create safe, peaceful and comfortable environment for sharing . We shall not be held responsible for group member’s safety. We all are peers. There are no professionals in this group. CandleX will not be responsible for people engaging in self-harm or suicidal ideations. By signing up to the peer support group, I understand and agree to release CandleX and its staff or volunteers from any or all liability connected to my own participation, including but not limited to any forms of self-harm or suicide. Confidentiality: All information shared with the group is strictly confidential. Some information related to the group dynamics and facilitation may be used for an internal debrief between facilitators and the Support Group manager to improve the quality of sessions and to empower others to set up support groups during facilitator’s training. No graphic description of suicide, self-harm and death as it may trigger some of the attendees. Please note that this is a Peer Support Group , there will be one facilitator throughout the session to monitor the progress of each session and facilitate group interactions, no professional therapists will be attending. We have a WeChat group (that you may join after attending at least one meeting) where you would be informed of Beijing community mental health events, as well as other information that might be helpful for your recovery. Community Contribution: We conduct regular internal debriefs between facilitators and the Support Group manager to ensure continuous quality check, learning and improvement. Additionally, we offer facilitator training programs to empower others to establish their own groups. During these training and debrief sessions, we handle information related to group dynamics and facilitation with sensitivity and care. If you have any concerns or feedback of the support group, we welcome you to let us know by emailing it to xiaojie.qin@candlex.cn . The concern would be handled sensitively directly by CandleX’s director. All information can be found on our website www.candlex.cn under " Get Help ".

Hypnotherapy remains a less commonly utilized modality among therapists. XiaoJie Qin , a psychotherapist and the director of CandleX, has shared a client email (with consent) reflecting on their experience with hypnotic sessions.

Editor: Xiaojie Qin Date: Sep 2025 Two years ago, I ran into CYN. "I’m moving," she told me. "My husband died." The news stopped me cold. That must have been crushing, I thought—yet there she was, living fully: creating, working, persisting. Only later did I learn the truth: her husband had died by suicide. I hesitated to reach out, stopped by the fear that my words might wound rather than comfort. Earlier this year, as I planned for today’s World Suicide Prevention Day, I kept thinking about her. At CandleX, we confront stigma by amplifying voices often silenced—not just sharing pain, but the quiet strength that follows. For a decade, our community writing project has thrived on this alchemy: raw honesty meets resilience, offering others a mirror for their own unspoken battles. I wondered if CYN might let us honor her journey, if her story of recovery could light the way for those still lost in the dark. She accepted our invitation, and after working together for two months, here is her story. Navigate your story with clarity and courage.  CandleX's supportive program ( Coaching Support for Your Mental Health Stories ) blends guided coaching with the power of writing to help you make sense of your mental health experiences. Author: CYN (pseudonym) Date: Aug 2025 “How are you?” an old friend from Shanghai asked when we met for brunch at a small café in Beijing, a couple of weeks after the funeral. It’s what everyone asks after someone dies. And the grieving often say, “I’m okay.” Not because it’s true, but because the real answer feels like too much. Too raw. Too hard to explain. “Well,” I said. “Things have settled. My husband’s gone. I’m —” I paused, suddenly aware this was the first time I’d said it out loud. A widow. The word felt foreign in my mouth. Almost antiquated. Like I was trying on something old, theatrical, not quite mine. And yet, somehow, it lit me up. Like saying it out loud unlocked something. Not grief. Not pity. Power. I felt like Scarlett Johansson in  Black Widow , stepping into leather and combat boots. I felt like a badass. And I had an eight-year-old sidekick at my side. Little did I know I’d need all that power for what was still to come. I wasn’t angry at my husband for ending his life. He had been quietly suffering from depression for years, and I knew he had tried his best—just as I told our son: “Daddy tried his best and loved us very much. But he was ill. We all tried our very best.” He didn’t leave a note. So it was left to my imagination to make sense of it. Maybe he believed he was doing us a favor. Maybe he thought it was an act of sacrifice—that his presence would only hold us back from truly living. I kept hoping I’d find something. A letter. A message. Some final clue. One night, missing him more than usual, I pulled a journal from the corner of a bookshelf. He hadn’t written in them regularly, but still—I thought maybe, just maybe, I’d find a few words meant for me. Instead, I opened a Pandora’s box of secrets. In it, he wrote about his struggles with infidelity. Regret. Guilt. Close calls—moments when I almost caught him. He wrote about how stupid he felt, risking everything. How much he wanted to be a good man, but how strong his inner demons were. On the last page, dated a year before his death, there were only a few scribbles of despair. No answers. No goodbyes. Just silence.  The husband I thought I had didn’t exist. I stared at the pages in disbelief. The life I’d known dissolved in an instant. I couldn’t find my footing. What had ever been real? That’s when the deeper grief began—not just for the man I lost, but for the life I thought we had. Fifteen years, rewritten in an instant. I closed the journal. And still, I had to tuck my son into bed as if nothing had happened. I kissed his forehead, pulled the blanket around him, held him close. Inside, a hard truth settled in: this wasn’t just a betrayal of trust. It was a betrayal of reality itself. A slow, invisible unraveling I hadn’t seen, until it all fell apart. How could he do this? Had any of it been real? Who was he? I kept thinking about all the relationship work we’d done over the years—the hours spent talking through conflicts with nonviolent communication, sharing reflections on Tara Brach’s  Radical Acceptance  over dinner dates. One of the last things he said to me was that he appreciated how I had shown him how to accept himself. We created safety for each other. We practiced vulnerability. We were—at least I thought we were—authentic. Was it all an illusion? And then the blame turned inward. How could I be so stupid? So naive? I replayed every moment, looking for the signs I had missed. The red flags. The gut feelings I brushed aside. I felt like a fool—for trusting, for loving, for believing we were in this together. And then there were the humiliations I never saw coming. After the funeral, a man I’d never met approached me to offer condolences. He said how much he admired my husband. Then added, almost laughing, “He introduced me to lots of girls. I mean, I was forty, a Harvard grad, and still hadn’t found the one.” It wasn’t until later—after I read the journal—that I realized what he was really saying. He knew. It felt like he was taunting me.  You were so clueless. So gullible. This wasn’t just about private betrayal—it was public. Some people knew and even enabled it. I felt humiliated. He felt more like an ex-husband than a late one. But I couldn’t divorce him. I didn’t get to choose. I still had to call him my husband. Sometimes I thought: maybe I should marry a stranger just so I wouldn’t have to say that word anymo re. I didn ’t choose this. I didn’t choose to become a single mom. I didn’t choose to be betrayed. I didn’t choose to be left alone to raise our son, holding the pieces of a life I no longer recognized. But I  could  choose how I would respond. And soon, something in me stirred—an awareness that this pain wasn’t unfamiliar. I had met it before. It was as if life had been quietly preparing me—not through comfort, but through difficulty. Each loss, each heartbreak, each healing effort laying the foundation of resilience.  My first real lesson came in college, when my boyfriend cheated on me. Though devastated, I made a quiet vow: I wouldn’t let it harden me. I wouldn’t let betrayal turn me bitter. I would keep trusting. Keep loving. Keep believing in the goodness of people. That promise stayed with me. It still does. In college, I had a psychology professor who often reminded us:  “ Be slow to judge. Understand the story behind the behavior.” That phrase stayed with me. It shaped how I saw people. Beneath the betrayal, the lies, the harm, there’s usually something else. Unprocessed trauma. Unspoken shame. Pain that twists people away from who they really are. Hurt people hurt people  became a kind of mantra for me—not to excuse the hurt, but to see the woundedness behind the hurtful behavior. I had already done a lot of inner work years before my husband died. Coaching. Meditation. Somatic work. Books about trauma and healing. I journaled. I practiced self-compassion. I learned how to sit with discomfort, to soften around pain instead of running from it. Perhaps most of all, I learned how to surrender.  Some pain was beyond tools. On those days, I could only lie down—sometimes literally, face down on the floor—and ask the Universe to hold me through it. I hadn’t realized I was building emotional infrastructure—and weaving a circle of soul companions I could lean on when everything fell apart. So when the floor gave out, I didn’t collapse. I had something to stand on. And I wasn’t alone in the dark. I began to imagine: What if, before this life, we had made a soul contract? That in this lifetime, we would be husband and wife not to fix each other, but to grow through our own darkness. To learn that humans are messy, contradictory, and still worthy of love. I often think of Persephone. I descended into the underworld. I’ve seen what’s down there—the grief, the betrayal, the silence. And now I’ve come back up — changed. Not bitter, but clearer. I no longer see people as simply good or bad. We are all both. And learning to accept even the darkest parts of him—and myself—was part of how I chose to heal. I don’t see him as evil. I never have. He was deeply wounded.  As Father Greg Boyle says, people are unshakably good. It’s the illness, the trauma, the pain that makes them act in hurtful ways—makes them forget who they really are. I still believe in that goodness—no longer with blind trust, but with clear eyes. So I began again. We’ve moved to a new country since then—to begin a different life. And on days when I feel unsure or unsteady, I still think of the Black Widow—her confidence, her strength, her grit. All superheroes have scars. Widow. It still sounds strange sometimes. But it’s no longer a label I was handed. It’s a strength I’ve claimed. Widow. Woman. Mother. Betrayed. Whole. I carry them all. And I walk forward. Disclaimer: The editor’s note was proofread and improved by Deepseek, while the Author’s writing was assisted by AI in a role of a writing coach.

Xiaojie Qin  | Psychotherapist | Beijing This year (2025), I began sharing stories of my therapy sessions with clients as part of our CandleX’s  Psychoeducation  Program. I’d like to take this opportunity to share the intentions and principles behind these writings. 1. Gratitude to My Clients None of these stories could be shared without the trust and consent of my clients. I am deeply grateful for your support of my role as a “dual-role” mental health professional. Currently, half of my work is dedicated to therapy, and the other half to directing mental health programs both in the community and corporate world. These articles are intended not only for general readers, but also to offer reassurance to those hesitant about starting therapy—giving them a glimpse behind the closed doors of the therapy room. I am also involved in several initiatives supporting the growth of the mental health field, including guiding aspiring professionals through regular webinars and facilitating community and corporate workshops. Many participants have expressed appreciation for these shared stories. It is the courage, progress, and healing of my clients that bring light to those still struggling. On their behalf, I extend my heartfelt thanks. 2. Exploration of Therapeutic Technique Although my recent (summer of 2025) articles are organized by different therapeutic approaches, I recognize that psychotherapy encompasses both foundational micro-skills and broader theoretical frameworks. From a “helicopter view,” everything is interconnected. My intent is not to argue that one approach is superior to another, but rather to illustrate how each has been both beneficial and limiting throughout my professional practice. When writing, I immerse myself deeply (maybe a bit too deep on some days sitting for hours) in reviewing a particular client’s full therapeutic journey—spanning several months to several years. The process for each article is meticulous yet profoundly meaningful: I reflect on how techniques were applied and refine my understanding of each method’s strengths and constraints. Although framing my writing within therapeutic traditions has its imperfections, it helps me transition from structured techniques toward a more intuitive, fluid practice. I see myself gradually progressing toward a formless mastery—much like a follower of the Dao. 3. Exploring “What Kind of Therapist I Am” The therapeutic space is filled with emotion—not only for clients, but for therapists as well. I hope to convey the inner world of the therapist: the challenges, reflections, and continual self-growth that this work demands. This reflective process not only deepens my own skills but also serves as a form of public education. Within a mental health landscape that can often feel crowded and confusing, I hope my stories encourage readers to look beyond titles and credentials, and focus instead on the process and substance of therapy itself. I hold a Master’s degree in Counseling from Monash University and two Chinese national certifications: National Level Three Psychological Counselor and National Psychotherapist. That said, I discourage placing excessive emphasis on distinctions between titles such as “psychologist,” “therapist,” or “counselor.” When a practitioner sits with a client, what truly matters is the therapeutic process itself. 4. Using Labels with Great Caution Diagnostic or psychological labels can serve as useful tools for practitioner’s learning, understanding and communication. Clients may even initially find relief in a label—it can settle a confused mind. Yet this often comes at the cost of limiting their belief in their capacity to transform. No label can fully capture a living person. I hold myself from describing my clients as “a bipolar case” or “passive-aggressive,” as is common in many clinical articles. Instead, I see them as people navigating complex emotions, each with unique stories and profound courage. I strive for my writing to feel light—to ease burdens, not add to them. 5. Illustrating “Gradual Recovery” Healing is not a binary shift from “disordered” to “healthy.” It is a gradual, non-linear path. Through my writing, I hope to encourage us all to step away from simplistic black-and-white thinking and embrace a more nuanced, progressive view of human experience. 6. Presenting the Real Therapeutic Relationship The stories I share include not only ‘successes’, but also moments of ‘failure’.My clients and I share a human encounter—a process of trial and adjustment that defies any textbook formula. Through authentic narration of actual therapy room experiences, I hope readers can see that the therapeutic relationship is dynamic and resilient—marked by collaboration, tension, transference and countertransference, moments of rupture and repair, and sometimes even disappointing departure. This reminds me, as a therapist, to keep growing—to support clients with greater sensitivity and fluency as we both navigate cognitive and emotional shifts, reducing unnecessary distress along the way. 7. Creating a “Healing Experience” Each article is first shared with the protagonist of the story—my client—and I obtain their formal consent for publication. This is not merely an ethical requirement; it is part of the healing experience I wish to offer to my clients. Sharing is caring, they say. Reading Irvin Yalom’s  The Gift of Therapy  deeply inspired me. His practice of occasionally reviewing the therapy process in writings with clients between sessions struck me as ethically delicate during my training, yet I deeply admire how a master therapist can—with stability and heartfelt care—guide clients into unexpected places of healing. When a client reads their own story, told with respect, understanding, and tenderness, and sees their struggle reframed as an act of self-protection rather than a flaw—that moment becomes a powerful affirmation and witness to their journey. I share with this intent. 8. Use of AI in the Writing Process As an bi-lingual therapist (Chinese and English), I let my emotions choose the language it wants to use for this articles. Some articles were written in Chinese, some in English. In both cases, artificial intelligence was used as a tool to assist in the writing process. I take caution in the use of AI, but limit it for its support in organizing early drafts and serving as an editor—refining grammar, clarifying ideas, and improving flow—while always preserving my personal voice, professional values, and core perspectives. All therapeutic insights and positions expressed originate from me. Thank you for reading and for your understanding. 秦小杰 ｜心理咨询师/心理治疗师| 北京 今年（2025年），我开始分享我和来访的咨询故事。在这里，我想谈谈书写这些故事时的初心与约定。 1. 感谢我的来访 没有来访的支持与同意，这些故事无法被发表。我由衷感谢你们支持我作为“两栖”心理健康工作者的角色——目前，心理咨询占我工作的一半，另一半则用于心理健康教育倡导和社区社会情感项目支持。 所写的文章除了供大众阅读，也希望能给那些犹豫是否咨询的人一些故事，让他们了解闭门的咨询室中发生着什么。我也一直为行业做些小事：支持徘徊在行业门口的人，通过定期在线研讨会分享从业经验，提供参考信息；在社区与企业工作坊中，大家也很感谢我能把故事在共同空间中讲述。这些故事凝聚关注，也传递力量——是来访所呈现的勇气、进步与修复，给予了仍在挣扎的人希望。在此，我替他们感谢我的来访。 2. 咨询技术探索 尽管近期 （ 2025年夏）文章多以流派分类写作，但我深知，咨询技术既有基础的微观技巧，也有所谓流派之分。若以“直升机视角”来看，万物彼此关联。我并不想讨论某一流派优于另一流派，更多是想呈现：在我专业成长的过程中，不同流派都带给我巨大助益，同时也存在局限。 书写时，我会深入回顾整个咨询过程——一个来访咨询短至数月，长至数年。书写过程繁琐却珍贵：重新审视技术应用，进而思考某一模式的适用与局限，以及我作为咨询师擅长的和还需学习改进的。以流派为章节分类来写作，是简便的一种方式，而这个过程帮助我更好的整合这些技术，将有形技术逐渐融于无形。 3. 探索“我是怎样的咨询师” 在咨询空间中，来访者会经历诸多情绪，而咨询师同样也会。我希望呈现出咨询工作中的情绪、挑战与反思，以及一个咨询师所需的自我成长。我坚信，一个好的心理咨询工作者，是有着足够自我觉察、自我调节能力、也是不断在自我实现中生活工作。这样的整理，既能深化我的技术，也是一种社会倡导——希望在这个繁杂混乱的咨询市场中，大家更关注技术与修炼，而非标签。 我持有国家颁发的心理咨询师证和心理治疗师证，但并不鼓励过度纠结“心理学家”“咨询师”或“治疗师”等职称差异。当一位从业人员坐在来访面前，我们更应聚焦的，是咨询过程本身。 4. 拒绝“标签化” 诊断标签是为了便于理解与沟通，但它无法定义任何一个活生生的人。尽管一些来访也可从标签中感受到瞬间的焦虑释放和平和，但标签是一个隐形的框架，它终将成为阻碍一个人最大限度的发展，撕下标签，是一个沉重且不必要的负担。 我的工作对象，我尽我所力，去转化“一个双相患者”或“一个多动症患者”，为“一个正经历多种情绪、有独特故事和巨大勇气的人”。我希望文字是轻盈的，是来卸下负担，而非增添负担。 5. 展现“渐进式康复” 我希望让大众了解真实的咨询过程是怎样的。心灵的康复，并非从“健康”到“不健康”的二元切换，而是一条蜿蜒曲折的渐进之路。愿我们所有人能偶尔跳出简便的二元建构，渐进而细腻地观察世界。 6. 呈现真实的咨访关系 在分享的咨询故事中，不仅有‘成功’的经验，也有‘失败’的片段。我希望通过这些真实的叙述，让大家认识到咨访关系是一个充满弹性的过程，其中包含咨询师与来访者之间的互动、移情与反移情、关系的破损与修复——这些都是常见甚至必要的历程，甚至有些历程是无法再续的遗憾。咨询并非总是“来访时刻被稳稳接住”的理想化体验，而是充满人性化的尝试与调整。这也提醒我作为咨询师要不断进步，在帮助来访者进行认知调整或情感整合时，更加敏锐地减轻过程中的痛苦，让咨询体验更加自然流畅。 7. 被分享“疗愈的体验” 尤其重要的是，这些文章会先经由故事的主人公——我的来访者——过目，并取得书面授权。这不仅关乎知情同意，我希望他们在阅读时，也是一个疗愈体验。 读欧文·亚隆的《给心理治疗师的礼物》时，我深受触动。他会在咨询间隔与来访互信，分别回顾彼此咨询过程的体验——这种非常规操作，依我所学的伦理来看，仿佛走钢丝，但正是他书中提到，这个过程，出其不意的加深了他们的治疗效果。于我而言，当（已结束咨询的）来访读到自己的咨询故事，被以尊重、理解与温柔的方式讲述，当他们的挑战被理解为一种努力的自我保护而非缺陷，我希望他们感受到我本有的对他们的深刻的见证与肯定。 8. 写作中人工智能的使用 作为一个双语（中文、英文）心理工作者，我习惯性的部分文章用中文写，部分用英文（看当时我的情绪语言是什么）。无论哪种语言，在撰写中我使用了人工智能辅助，感谢它协助整理初稿，担任编辑角色：优化语法、澄清观点、调整流畅度，但严格保留我的写作风格、专业理念与核心观点，所有心理咨询见解与立场均出自本人。 感谢您的阅读与理解。

The article was written by the author in English, and translated by Deepseek to Chinese. 文章由作者用英文撰写，后经Deepseek翻译成中文，作者校对后发表。中文版在页面第二部分。 Author:  Xiaojie Qin 2025.08 Beijing (With client’s consent to share) About Rose December 2023. Rose (name changed), a woman in her late 40s, came to see me through recommendations. She presented as what I call an  "advanced client" —who had not only built a stable life as a Beijing expat, but had done the hard work of personal growth for years. The immediate trigger was the rupture of a decade-long friendship that had served as an emotional anchor. "I've worked on my somatic system before—it really helped,"  she told me in that first session, demonstrating the self-awareness. Rose knew her psychology basics, could articulate her presenting issues, and key childhood background, and had clearly benefited from previous therapeutic work. We worked for 9 months together, which she showed up: consistently punctual, deeply engaged in our rhythm of sessions, and with that gold combination of kindness and determination that predicts therapeutic progress. Her resourcefulness wasn't just impressive—it was the foundation we'd build on. Joyful Progress Our work together progressed quickly. We began by addressing the grief surrounding the close friendship loss that had initially brought her to therapy. As we moved forward, we turned our focus to her lifelong anxiety using Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), targeting two core themes: "I am responsible", which improved her boundary setting abilities through reduction of fear, and "I am in danger" - both rooted in her fundamental belief that "the world is dangerous.", which caused anxiety associated with hyper-vigilance (significant childhood trauma). Rose responded remarkably well to the reprocessing. Each session concluded with her SUD （Subjective Units of Disturbance）scores dropping to 0, and she reported tangible improvements in her daily life: her sleep quality increased, the nightmares reduced, and she experienced moments of unexpected joy.  "I just felt this pure joy in my heart,"  she shared during one session,  "something I hadn't felt in years."  During this time, after a decade of being single, Rose entered a new relationship. Witnessing these changes filled me with that particular satisfaction unique to our profession. A Therapeutic Impasse "I feel on the edge of big shifts,"  she told me. While we celebrated our therapy progress, yet, one persistent challenge remained, a source of deep frustration for both Rose and I. Now we arrived at the third and last stage of our journey - the moment to revisit what I'd noted in Session 8 but set aside. (As a therapist who values structure, I often park issues that don't directly relate to our current focus.) Back then, Rose had mentioned: "When I try to do one thing, my mind does the opposite." Being exceptionally committed to her therapeutic work, Rose diligently practiced the mindful exercises I assigned – guided imagery to be precise, which we worked on both in sessions and as homework. Yet despite her efforts, she kept encountering the same obstacles when doing visualization:  "You (your guidance) are far ahead, and I am still trying to get up,"  she'd report,  "my ankles tangled in vines,"  or  "I keep tripping on the path."  Her frustration grew with each failed attempt, mirroring my own professional puzzlement. What made this especially perplexing was that Rose could visualize easily when self-directed; it was only during guided imagery that she struggled. Even across different EMDR reprocessing themes, her visualizations consistently followed a similar arc: beginning with darkness and ending with light. Connecting these dots proved challenging. We'd uncovered something profound yet elusive.  Therapy , I reminded myself, isn't about having immediate answers -  it's a process of carefully testing hypotheses, session by session, like navigating a maze where the treasure is deeper understanding . Both exhilarating and daunting. Using Parts: IFS at Work Having tried almost everything else I had, I decided to give ‘parts work’ (I sometimes use this term to refer to IFS, as many other practitioners do) a whirl, applying it to our guided imagery experience, which Rose struggles with, and just see how that would go. The next few sessions, we took a very focused approach, a process with guided imagery work together as center piece, while I blend that with IFS’s parts approach. Stairs and the Second Room "Close your eyes. I’ll count from 10 to 1 to guide you walking down a stair case of 10 steps."  I guided. "1, and you reach the bottom and you are in a room." I borrowed the classic guided imagery exercises from hypnosis. I flavored it with a door that opens up to another room. "You’ll see there’s a door in this room. Go over there, and open it. What do you see?" In three sessions, we kept using the same guided imagery. Rose's descent was anything but smooth. Her feet caught on invisible obstacles, her balance wavered as if the stairs themselves resisted her. Something nasty was at play. It was so easy to assume that part as a "messer," a "meddler." When she finally reached the room—it was  dark . The door within that room opened only to reveal more  darkness .  This darkness was so consistent in all the visualization work we do. "No matter how earnestly you try to follow instructions, there's a part of you that consistently pushes back with equal force,"  I commented. Rose sat with this observation for a while, then remembered her childhood home—a place where every truth came in competing versions.  "Grandma said one thing, Mom said another. I never learned how to tell which was right."  Her voice carried the lingering confusion of that little girl who'd been given contradictory compasses.  "So what you are saying is that you’ve been trying to meet an expectation which you don’t even know what that is. " I paraphrased and summarized what Rose said, a malfunctioning intermediate belief (yes, a CBT term. Learn more:  Xiaojie on Cognitive Behavior Therapy: A Therapist's Honest Take ). In this session, it revealed that young Rose had learned to police her own innocent thoughts ( "Jesus has a penis" —immediately followed by  "That's wrong to think that!" ), to avoid  ‘hell's punishment’  (growing up with a grandma that’s ‘deeply religious’) for mental slips she couldn't control.  "I'm supposed to..." was resisted. I thought to myself: What if the element that prevents her from following the guidance—this "I am supposed to"—isn't a villain, but a part of her that's crying to be seen, that requires freedom from the 'rules'? In our next session, we returned to the  Stairs and the Second Room  imagery—this time I blended it with a parts work approach. As Rose began the visualization, I guided her to identify the distinct aspects of herself at play: First emerged the  Trying Part —the diligent follower executing each instruction precisely, determined to "do it right." Then came the  Critic Part,  that internal judge demanding perfect compliance.  "Could this part take a break in the waiting room?"  I suggested, invoking our pre-established safe space with music and cake—an environment we'd tested in prior sessions where her  Critic Part  (thinking self) could relax. Then we turned to the vines and barriers that typically triggered Rose's frustration.  "What if,"  I offered gently,  "you stop and take a look at them with compassion and curiosity." The  Protector Part  revealed itself as Rose described a sensation like cement blocks—heavy, immovable. “What does this block say?”  I asked. "Stop!"  Rose replied. "I don't know why, but I feel so sad,"  she said with trembling voice, and cried. Never in our session, Rose showed any strong emotions previously. "What does this part look like, and what does it need?"  I asked. The image clarified: "Young... It just wants to be held."  Rose replied. “Does your body feel any special sensations?”  I asked. “My chest and core area are tingling”.  Rose said. The cement wasn't an obstacle; it was a frozen child, armored in stone. I took a long pause, giving them some time. Two weeks later, in what would become our final session together, we revisited the  Stairs and the Second Room  exercises once more. This time, Rose descended with newfound ease. Along the way, she encountered that young part again—the one we'd uncovered weeks before—and without hesitation, she gathered it into her arms with tender care. When the moment came to open the door, her voice lifted with quiet wonder:  " It's bright now.  There are birds... and trees." There it was—the shift on the edge had turned. I smiled, and so did Rose Disclaimer:   I wrote this article in English. I used Deepseek to translate my writing from English to Chinese as a draft, which I use to finalize the Chinese version of my article. I worked with Deepseek for one purpose of editorial role: to refine this article - improving grammar, clarifying ideas, and smoothing the flow - while carefully preserving my personal voice, therapeutic perspective, and original intent. All therapeutic insights and opinions remain my own.  心理咨询师治疗师:  秦小杰 2025年8月北京 从黑暗到光明：一位来访者的意象转变｜内在家庭系统疗法（2） (经来访者授权分享) 关于蕊芬（化名） 2023年12月，年近五十的蕊芬经人推荐找到我。她是我所说的 "高领悟力来访者" ——在北京居住多年建立了稳定生活的外国人，她一直持续进行深度自我成长。讲她推向咨询室的导火索，是她一段维系数十年的支柱性友谊的破裂。 "我之前做过躯体疗法，效果很好。"  首次会谈时她这样说道，言语间透着清醒的自我觉察。蕊芬具备心理学基础知识，能清晰表述主诉问题与关键童年经历，此前的心理咨询也显然令她获益。 我们共同工作了九个月。这段日子里，她总是准时赴约，深度投入每一次会谈，兼具温和与坚韧的特质——这种黄金组合往往是疗愈进展的预示。她的资源丰富性不仅令人印象深刻，更成为我们工作的基石。 让我惊喜的咨询进展 我们的咨询工作进展迅速。最初我们处理的是促使她前来咨询的那段重要友谊破裂带来的哀伤。随着咨询推进，我们通过眼动脱敏与再加工治疗（EMDR）聚焦于她长期存在的焦虑问题，主要针对两个核心主题： 一是"我必须负责"——这个主题的改善显著提升了她的边界设定能力，恐惧感明显减轻； 二是"我身处危险"——她童年遭受过严重创伤，所以她的潜意识里会有"世界很危险"的基本信念，这种信念导致她长期处于过度警觉的焦虑状态。 蕊芬对咨询的反应令人欣喜。每次眼动身心重建疗法（EMDR）会谈结束后，她的主观困扰程度（SUD）评分都降至0分，日常生活中也出现了切实改善：睡眠质量提高、噩梦减少，甚至开始体验到久违的快乐时刻。 "我感受到一种纯粹的喜悦从心底涌出，" 她在某次会谈中分享， "我已经很多年没有这种感觉了。" 在此期间，单身十年的蕊芬也开始了一段新恋情。作为咨询师，见证这些转变带来的满足感，是这个职业独有的馈赠。 咨询中的瓶颈 "我能感受到，我生命即将会有一个重大转。" 她这样告诉我。虽然我们为咨询进展欢欣鼓舞，但一个顽固的困境始终存在，成为蕊芬和我共同深感挫败的根源。 此刻，我们来到了咨询旅程的第三阶段，也是最终章——是时候重新审视我在第八次咨询中记录却暂未处理的问题了。（作为注重咨询过程结构的咨询师，我常将那些与当下焦点不直接相关的议题暂时搁置。）当时蕊芬曾说： "每当我想做某件事时，我的思维总背道而驰。" 对咨询极其投入的蕊芬，始终认真完成我布置的冥想练习——具体而言是引导性意象训练，我们在咨询中演练，她也坚持作为家庭作业。然而尽管竭尽全力，相同的阻碍总反复出现： "您（的引导）已经走得很远，而我还在原地挣扎，" 她会这样描述， "脚踝被藤蔓缠绕" ，或是 "在小径上反复跌倒" 。每次受挫都加剧着她的沮丧，也折射出我作为咨询师的困惑。最令人费解的是，蕊芬在自主意象中表现自如，唯独在引导意象时举步维艰。即便在不同主题的EMDR再加工过程中，她的意象也始终遵循相似轨迹： 始于黑暗 ，终于光明。 串联这些线索并非易事。我们触碰到某些深邃却难以把握的东西。已经快没耐心的我，提醒自己，咨询本就不是提供即时答案——它是在迷宫中谨慎验证假设的过程，而宝藏正是更深层的理解。这令人既振奋，又敬畏。 运用部分工作：IFS的实践 (经来访者授权分享) 在尝试了几乎所有方法后，我决定试试"部分工作"（我有时会用这个说法来指代IFS，就像许多其他临床工作者那样），将其应用到蕊芬一直很挣扎的引导性意象体验中，看看效果如何。接下来几次咨询，我们采取了非常聚焦的方式，以引导性意象工作为核心过程，同时融入IFS的部分工作方法。 下台阶和门 "闭上眼睛。我会从10倒数到1，引导你走下10级台阶，" 我引导到。 "数到1时，你就到达底部，进入一个房间。" 我借用了催眠中的经典引导性意象练习，并加入了自己的调整： 增加一扇通往另一个房间的门。 "你会看到这个房间里有扇门。走过去，打开它。你看到了什么？" 在三次咨询中，我们持续使用同样的引导性意象。蕊芬的"下行"过程一点也不顺利。她的脚会被看不见的障碍绊住，身体摇晃仿佛楼梯本身在抗拒她。显然有什么东西在作祟。很容易就会把这个部分假设为 "捣乱者"、"干扰者" 。当她终于到达房间时——里面一片漆黑。房间里的那扇门打开后，露出的仍是 黑暗。 "无论你多么认真地尝试遵循指示，总有一个部分在以同样的力度抗拒。" 我评论道。 蕊芬沉思了一会儿，然后想起了童年的家——一个每个真相都存在竞争版本的地方。 "外婆说一套，妈妈说的又是另一套。我从来不知道哪个是对的。" 她的声音里带着那个被给予矛盾指南针的小女孩残留的困惑。 "所以你是说，你一直在试图满足一个连你自己都不清楚是什么的期望？" 我转述并总结了蕊芬的话，这是一个功能失调的中间信念（是的，一个CBT术语。了解更多，查看小杰撰写的： 认知行为疗法：心理咨询师坦白局 ）。这次咨询揭示出，年幼的蕊芬学会了审查自己天真的想法（ "耶稣有小JJ" ——立刻跟着 "这么想是错的！" ），为她无法控制的思想"失误"，为逃避"地狱的惩罚"（成长于一个有着"极度虔诚"外婆的环境）。 "我应该......" 遭到了抵抗。我暗自思考：如果阻碍她跟随指引的这个元素——这个"我应该"——不是恶棍，而是一个渴望被看见、需要从'规则'中解脱的部分呢？ 在下一次咨询中，我们重新回到 下台阶和门 意象——这次我将其与部分工作方法相结合。当蕊芬开始意象时，我引导她识别正在运作的不同自我部分： 首先出现的是" 尝试部分 "——那个一丝不苟执行每个指令、决心"做对"的勤勉追随者。然后是" 批评部分 "，那个要求完美服从的内在评判者。"这个部分可以去等候室休息吗？"我建议道，调用我们预先建立的、有音乐和蛋糕的安全空间——这个环境我们在之前的咨询中测试过，她的" 批评部分 "（思考自我）可以在那里放松。 接着我们转向通常会触发蕊芬挫败感的藤蔓和障碍物。 "如果，" 我温和地提议， "你停下来，带着慈悲和好奇看看它们呢？" "保护部分" 显现出来，蕊芬描述它像水泥块一样——沉重、不可撼动。 “这块水泥在说什么？” 我问到。 "停下！" 她说。 "我不知道为什么，但我现在觉得非常悲伤，" 这句话，她声音颤抖，伴随着一下决堤式的哭声。在我们的咨询中，蕊芬从未展现过如此强烈的情绪。 "这个部分看起来什么样？它需要什么？" 我问。 意象变得清晰： "它很小...它只想被抱住，" 蕊芬回答。 "你的身体有什么特殊感觉吗？"  我接着问道。 "我的胸口和腹部有一阵阵酥麻的电流感。" 那些水泥不是障碍；它们是一个披着石头盔甲的冰冻孩童。我停顿了很长时间，给她们一些空间。 两周后，也是我们最后一次咨询中，我们再次进行了 下台阶和门 意象练习。这一次，蕊芬的下行过程变得异常轻松。途中，她再次遇见了那个年幼的部分——我们几周前发现的那个——毫不犹豫地，她温柔地将它搂入怀中。 当我引导她第三次来到头脑里的这扇门口，她推开了门，声音带着安静的惊叹：" 现在很明亮 ...有鸟儿...还有树。" 就在那里——转折终于发生了。我微笑起来，蕊芬也是。 特别声明： 1.我用英文写作该文章，然后由Deepseek完成英文至中文的翻译。 2.这篇文章在撰写过程中，使用了Deepseek，仅限于编辑润色：对文章进行语法优化、观点澄清及行文流畅性调整，但严格保留我的个人风格、专业理念与核心观点。所有心理咨询见解与立场均出自本人

July 2025,  Xiaojie Qin , director of CandleX, was invited by a diplomatic organization in Chongqing to lead a bilingual (Chinese and English) mental health workshop for employees after organizational restructuring. The group—primarily Chinese professionals—required a culturally attuned approach. Instead of deep emotional processing, the focus was on  gentle awareness, emotional literacy, and collective forward movement . A Framework for Subtle yet Impactful Growth Drawing from Xiaojie’s experiences in improv comedy and therapeutic frameworks like  Social-Emotional Learning (SEL)  and  Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) , we designed exercises that: Normalized emotions  without pressure to "open up" (e.g., "emotional literacy games both in Chinese and in English for both language groups"). Built trust gradually  through light, reflective activities (e.g., resourcing exercises that guide the group to answer the questions listed at the beginning of the workshop). Focused on team cohesion , using improv games such as mirror games, and ball games like "reflection on collaboration, and personal role at a workplace" to frame resilience as a shared effort. Our Approach: Safety in structure:  Reserved groups often engage more when given clear, low-pressure prompts. Small steps toward awareness:  It’s common that Chinese employees had never discussed emotions at work—simply naming feelings (e.g., "stress," "uncertainty") was progress. Forward momentum:  We prioritized practical tools (e.g., grounding techniques, reframing thoughts) over revisiting the restricting itself. Key Insight for Organizations In cross-cultural or reserved settings, meeting people where they are is transformative. This workshop proved that even modest shifts—like acknowledging emotions or aligning on team strengths—can lay the groundwork for post-restructuring repair and growth.

Author 作者: Xiaojie Qin 秦小杰  2025/08 Beijing Intro: The First Chord – When All My Parts Were Acknowledged Wow, this song came out in 2006. It’s been two decades since I first fell in love with India Arie’s  The Wings of Forgiveness . I had found that the art of simplicity. Simply means making peace with your complexity As a young adult first dipping my toes into life’s deeper waters, these lyrics struck a chord. I couldn’t quite articulate why they resonated—only that they mirrored a truth I sensed but hadn’t named: that we’re never just ‘good’ or ‘bad,’ like the pass/fail simplicity of school grades. Hmm… complicated. We’re woven from layers, contradictions—what I’d later come to know as parts. And unlike school’s harsh judgments, these parts don’t need to be banished. We can learn to sit with them, even the messy ones. This idea of complexity acknowledges every facet of life and ourselves. It’s what I’ve spent my adult life learning to embrace and coordinate, rather than reject with fear or hatred. As a therapist expanding my toolbox, I stumbled upon Internal Family Systems (IFS). That same chord resonated again—that familiar feeling of gentle, tolerant embrace. I dove into learning and practicing it without hesitation. I know this ‘love at first sight’ well, whether with  swing dance ,  Brazilian jiujitsu , or now, IFS. Let me try to explain it simply: IFS Therapy was developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz in the 1980s. IFS views a person as a system of parts—each with distinct roles and desires, yet all ultimately serving the person’s best interest. In mentally healthy individuals, these parts collaborate harmoniously. But trauma can leave parts wounded or burdened, causing dysfunction: parts may fight each other, overcompensate, or shut down. This internal conflict can manifest as emotional struggles, physical symptoms, or even mental health conditions as extreme as dissociative identity disorder. 前奏：第一个和弦——当所有"部分"被看见时 天，这首歌居然是2006年发行的。曾几何时，我很喜欢听India Arie的歌曲，很多并不是情歌，而是对生活的反思和描述，我一直非常爱的《 The Wings of Forgiveness (宽恕之翼)》 这首歌，居然已经离发行日期过去近二十年了。 I had found that the art of simplicity 我发现简单的艺术 Simply means making peace with your complexity 就是与你的复杂和解 当年刚接触这首歌的我，还是个黄毛丫头 （当然好像确实也染了褐色的头发，太巧了），这句歌词像拨动了我某根心弦。说不上为什么被打动，只觉得它映照了我说不清的直觉：学校去评价我们是用及格与否的二元思维来衡量我们，但也许我们每个人都有不同的维度组成，很湿复杂。我们由层层不同的特点组成，有时还会相互矛盾——后来我尝试着用'部分'这个次去拆解难以表达的自我。和学校的粗暴评判不同，也和家长希望的改造不同，部分无需被驱逐，每一个不‘部分’都必不可少，而我们可以学着让它们共处，哪怕是那些乱糟糟的部分。 这种对复杂的认知，成了我成年后一直在学习的课题：不是用恐惧或厌恶去拒绝，而是接纳并协调生命的每个棱面。 当我作为心理咨询师拓展技能时，我接触了很多不同的咨询流派。而当我去认识'内在家庭系统疗法'(IFS)时，当我听到‘ 部分 ’这个概念，那根心弦再次被拨动——那种熟悉的、温柔包容的共鸣感。我毫不犹豫地投身学习和实践。这种'一见钟情'我很熟悉，二十几岁时的站在舞池里第一次跳 摇摆舞 、三十几岁时在地垫上被人压的起不来的第一节 巴西柔术 课。 我简单介绍下内在家庭系统疗法'(IFS)吧：内部家庭系统疗法（IFS）由理查德·施瓦茨博士于20世纪80年代创立。IFS把一个人看作由不同'部分'组成的系统，每个部分都有独特需求和功能，本质上都在保护你。部分协作顺畅时，你的心理趋于健康；但生活中，难免有创伤，这些遭遇会让某些部分受伤或不堪重负，导致它们互相打架、过度补偿或彻底罢工。这种内战可能表现为情绪问题、身体症状，甚至解离性身份障碍这样的严重问题。 Head: Fractured Harmony – Every Voice Has a Story If life’s a song, we are all singers. We sometimes sing off-key or lose the beat— a therapist’s role is to hear each voice’s solo, and help you harmonize the chaos, until every part finds its pitch. (Fun fact—this musical metaphor became real to me thanks to my music mentor Feng dawei this year, who taught me what it truly means to be "off-key" and "in harmony." Unrelated to therapy, yet profoundly connected.) “Internal Family Systems—is this family therapy?"  The answer’s no.  Family  here means the unshakable bonds between all internal parts of an individual: the Managers, Exiles, Firefighters, and crucially, the  Self —each an indispensable member of your psyche’s household. IFS’s naming (and whole approach) is unapologetically  right-brain : poetic, ‘less scientific,’ but that’s precisely what disarms resistance with gray-area flexibility. Compare this to Cognitive Behavior Therapy (for more info, check out ‘ Xiaojie on Cognitive Behavior Therapy: A Therapist's Honest Take ’ ), which stamps clinical terms like  Cognitions  and  Behaviors  right in its name, CBT’s structured lists ( cognitive distortions! positive/negative behaviors! ) ironically mirror the  black-and-white thinking  that is famously on its  distortion list . Meanwhile, IFS whispers:  "What if all your  parts —even the ‘problem’ ones—are just trying to help?"  That right there—the attitude, or qualities (what ACT would call values)—points to IFS’s  Self : the  8Cs  and  5Ps . 主歌：破碎的和声——你的每个声音，都有来处 若人生如歌，你我皆是歌者。 我们难免走调失拍，而治疗师的工作，便是听懂每个声部的独奏， 帮你在混沌中和声，让每个声音回归自己的音准。 （说来有趣——这个音乐比喻的实现，要特别感谢我今年的音乐良师益友，才华横溢的冯大维，是他让我真正理解了什么是"走调"与"和声"。这与心理治疗无关，却奇妙地相通。） “ 内在家庭系统疗法（IFS） ——这是家庭治疗吗？”答案是否定的。这里的"家庭"指的是个体内部所有部分之间不可撼动的联结： 管理者（Managers） 、 放逐者（Exiles） 、 消防员（Firefighters） ，以及最关键的" 真我（Self） "——它们都是你心灵家园中不可或缺的成员。 IFS的命名（及其整体方法）毫不掩饰地偏向右脑思维：充满诗意、"不那么科学"，但正是这种灰色地带的灵活性消解了人们的心理防御。相比之下，认知行为疗法（CBT，参见我的另一篇文章:  认知行为治疗｜心理咨询师小杰的坦白局 ）直接把"认知"和"行为"这类临床术语嵌在名称里——颇具讽刺意味的是，它那些结构化清单（认知扭曲！积极/消极行为！）恰恰在某种程度上复刻了其经典扭曲清单中最典型的"非黑即白"思维模式。 与此同时，IFS却轻声问道：" 如果你所有的内在部分——包括那些'问题成员'——都只是想帮你呢？" 这种态度或特质（ACT疗法称之为"价值观"）恰恰指向了IFS的核心——"真我"（Self）的 八大特质（8C） 和 五大品质（5P） 。 The Next Song: My Client Rose and the Healing Process With Rose's generous permission (name changed for confidentiality), I'll share our real therapeutic journey—how IFS helped us navigate a moment of therapeutic impasse and create transformative change. When I reconnected with her to request consent, I learned something beautiful: A full year after our sessions ended, Rose continues working with  parts  on her own through reading, discovering new layers of healing and growth. 下一首歌：我的来访者蕊芬 蕊芬（化名）于2023年底开始与我进行心理咨询。衷心感谢她允许我分享我们咨询过程中的关键片段——当我们的工作遇到瓶颈时，正是IFS的"部分"（Parts）理念和技术帮助我们突破了困境。最近因文稿需要与她联系确认时，我很欣喜地得知：她现在生活得很好，并且一直在自主研读"部分"心理学相关书籍，这些知识至今仍在滋养着她的成长。 Disclaimer:   I wrote this article in English. I used Deepseek to translate my writing from English to Chinese as a draft, which I use to finalize the Chinese version of my article. I worked with Deepseek for one purpose of editorial role: to refine this article - improving grammar, clarifying ideas, and smoothing the flow - while carefully preserving my personal voice, therapeutic perspective, and original intent. All therapeutic insights and opinions remain my own.  特别声明： 1. 我用英文写作该文章，然后由Deepseek完成英文至中文的文本初步翻译，我在此基础上完成中文编辑写作。 2. 这篇文章在撰写过程中，使用了Deepseek，仅限于编辑润色：对文章进行语法优化、观点澄清及行文流畅性调整，但严格保留我的个人风格、专业理念与核心观点。所有心理咨询见解与立场均出自本人

As society continues to develop, the profession of psychotherapy has also received increasing attention in recent years. If you are planning to enter this field, you may be looking for more learning, practice, and employment opportunities. You may also be looking for insight into the career and life of a practicing psychotherapist. This insightful 90-minute Q&A based webinar will explore these topics and provide you with valuable knowledge regarding different graduate programs, as well as advantages and disadvantages of pursuing this path.  You will come away with a clearer understanding of whether a degree in the field of psychology aligns with your strengths, personality, and desired lifestyle. This webinar will be organized by Ms. Qin Xiaojie , the director of CandleX and a registered counselor/psychotherapist in China and Australia. Cost: 150RMB (no refund) Event time:  Periodically, please add Summer for inquires via the QR code below Online: Tencent Meeting Language: English or Chinese (depending on the language of the participants) Content: 10 minute presentation+80 minute Q&A 随着社会不断发展，心理咨询师这个职业在近几年也越来越受到关注。如果你正计划着进入这个领域，如果你想了解更多的学习、实践和就业机会，以及做为一名心理咨询从业人员的真实职业和生活状态，我们的在线分享活动将为你答疑解惑。 这次分享活动会由CandleX始然心理的创始人和总监，中国三级心理咨询师、心理治疗师秦小杰女士，来分享和回答大家的问题。 费用：150元(无退款) 活动时间： 不定期举行，请添加协调员summer询问 活动地点：腾讯在线会议 活动内容：10分钟演讲+80分钟问答 语言：中文或者英文（根据报名情况确定） 活动流程：分享会参与者，请提前准备问题，以确保大家得到自己需要的相关信息。 报名：请添加Summer的微信 This webinar will cover the following key areas: Graduate Degree Psychotherapy is a branch of psychology- how to decide whether to pursue a major in psychotherapy or another kind of psychology degree How to apply for master's degree in psychology with a bachelor's degree other than psychology How to optimize your resume to apply for a psychology major Studying Abroad The differences in psychotherapy degrees in various countries (UK, USA, Australia) The impact of having a degree on future employment in China and foreign countries Employment At present, the counseling/psychotherapy market in China lacks standardization; guidance for how to maintain ethical career development The skills, background, and experience required by employers; understanding the current market Career and Personal Matching Index Each profession has its unique characteristics. How to determine whether your interests, hobbies, personality traits, and expected lifestyle are suitable to be a counselor. Main points to understand when choosing this profession Note: Xiaojie has a Master's degree in counseling from Monash University in Australia. She is a registered as a psychological counselor, and a certified psychotherapist in China. For those who need to have a deep understanding of degrees and job markets in other countries, please be aware of this. 这次分享会将涉及以下几个重点方面： 学科 心理咨询是心理学的一个分支，如何考虑是读心理咨询还是读其他心理学科的专业； 针对本科学历不是心理学的硕士申请者，如何跨行申请。 如何更好的准备你的简历，让你在心理专业申请上加分。 留学 心理咨询的学位在不同的几个发达国家（英国、美国、澳大利亚）的差异; 以及学位对今后执照在中国或者外国就业的影响。 就业 目前国内心理咨询市场服务提供者鱼龙混杂、市场缺乏规范，心理咨询师的良性发展路径； 雇主所需的技能、背景和经验，以及目前市场上的工作和就业情况。 职业和个人匹配指数 每个职业都有它的特性，你的兴趣爱好、个性特征以及期待的生活工作方式是否适合做心理咨询，将心理咨询当作职业你应该了解的主要内容。 备注：主讲人的背景是澳洲的心理咨询硕士学位，中国三级心理咨询师和心理治疗师，对于需要深度了解其他国家的学位和就业市场请合理期待。 This webinar will provide enthusiasts with a guide towards entering the field of counseling/psychotherapy, while stimulating more competitiveness and professionalism within the industry. If you would like to learn more, please sign up to join our discussion. Ms Qin Xiaojie's introduction. Scan the QR code to follow her psychotherapy wechat account. 这次在线分享活动将为爱好者们提供一个进入这个领域的重要途径，也将为咨询行业提供更多竞争力和专业性。如果你想了解更多的信息，欢迎加入我们的讨论。 秦小杰女士的简介如下。请扫码关注秦小杰女士的心理健康视频号。 全中文秦女士小红书

(中文在文章末) Xiaojie Qin Aug 2025 "I tend to the whispers of humanity in therapy rooms, then echo them into the world." I am a psychotherapist that works in two dimensions: In the quiet , where I sit with clients one-on-one or in small groups, doing the deep, intimate work of healing;  In the public eye , where I amplify mental health awareness—translating patterns of resilience and collective strength into tools for the broader community. What defines me is the bridge I build between these spaces. The therapy room reveals universal truths about suffering and growth; my passion lies in carrying those truths outward, with sensitivity and rigor, so they resonate far beyond its walls. I am not just a therapist. I am a translator of the human experience. Ms. Xiaojie Qin is a certified counselor and psychotherapist in China, holding both the Chinese National Level 3 Psychological Counseling Certificate and National Level Psychotherapy Certificate. She holds a Master’s in Counseling from Monash University (Australia) and a Master’s in Development Evaluation from the University of Antwerp (Belgium). In the first decade of her career, she served as a program coordinator and an evaluation specialist in global development, working extensively with international NGOs. Building on this experience, she founded CandleX in 2015 - a mental health organization where she now serves as director, combining her cross-cultural expertise with psychological practice. With extensive professional experience, Ms. Qin offers individual, couples, and group therapy sessions both online and in-person. She provides therapy for clients dealing with depression and anxiety disorders, with particular experiences in supporting clients with bipolar disorder, survivors of abusive relationships, and those navigating grief and loss. Her practice also focuses on adolescent mental health, providing therapeutic and mentorship support to teenagers from international schools across China and overseas. Deeply engaged with both Beijing's international and local communities, Ms. Qin has developed CandleX's programs to fill critical gaps in mental health support. Over the past decade, she has delivered specialized trainings, seminars, and presentations for international schools, corporate clients, embassy partners, and UN organizations, contributing to national-level mental health campaigns. Beyond her therapy practice, she is well recognized for her innovative nonprofit mental health initiatives, reflecting her profound commitment to community wellbeing. A Sichuan native fluent in Chinese and English, Ms. Qin bridges western therapeutic frameworks with culturally attuned care for both Chinese locals and expats in China. Her professional insights on mental health in China have been sought by CGTN, ABC News, Reuters, The Guardian, and other major international media outlets. Visit  www.candlex.cn  for more information; for  therapy  inquires: xiaojie.qin@candlex.cn 秦小杰 2025年8月 "我在咨询室里聆听人性的低语，再将它们回响于天地之间。" 我是一位既做心理咨询又做大众科普的"两栖"心理健康工作者。每天在咨询室里听到的一个个真实故事，让我深深理解人性的脆弱与坚韧，每一个来访都让我为之感动和震撼；这份感受，推着我走向公众，在这个容易让人感到孤独的时代，我希望把咨询室里看到的人性微光，用专业科普见解和最人性的故事，转化成温暖和激励更多人的力量。 秦小杰女士 是资深心理咨询师与心理治疗师，持有国家三级心理咨询师资格证书及国家级心理治疗师认证。她拥有澳大利亚莫纳什大学心理咨询硕士学位及比利时安特卫普大学发展评估硕士学位。职业生涯初期，她曾担任国际非政府组织项目协调与评估专家，在全球发展领域深耕十余年。2015年，她融合跨文化经验创立心理健康机构CandleX并担任总监，开创性地将国际视野与心理健康实践相结合。 凭借丰富的专业经验，秦小杰女士提供线上线下的个体咨询、伴侣咨询及团体心理咨询服务。除接待常见的有抑郁与焦虑症状的来访外，她特别擅长给予双相情感障碍干预、亲密关系暴力创伤康复以及哀伤丧失心理辅导。秦小杰女士同时服务于青少年心理健康，为在京以及海外青少年留学生提供心理咨询，并通过CandleX青少年项目提供更全面的心理健康支持。 作为北京国际社区与本土社会的积极建设者，她开启以及不断调整的CandleX项目有效填补了心理健康服务缺口。过去十年间，她为国际学校、跨国企业、驻华使馆及联合国机构开展专业培训，并参与国家级心理健康倡议项目。秦小杰女士深耕于在华国际社区，心系社区心理健康，机构十年如一日的提供了优质的心理健康服务，其中包括大量的非盈利服务。 秦小杰女士出生成长于四川，作为精通中英双语的心理健康行业专业人士，她巧妙融合西方治疗体系与文化适配性关怀，服务本土与国际来访者。因关于中国心理健康议题的专业见解，她受邀接受包括中国国际电视台（CGTN）、澳大利亚广播公司（ABC）、路透社（Reuters）及《卫报》（The Guardian）等国际权威媒体的采访。 更多详情请访问： www.candlex.cn ;  秦小杰女士小红书：小杰Psych咨询;  心理咨询预约邮箱：xiaojie.qin@candlex.cn

Editor: Xiaojie Qin Time: Aug 2025 As Cecilia’s therapist, I witnessed the tremendous challenges she faced in rebuilding her life after leaving an abusive marriage. Leaving abuse takes extraordinary strength (see  Chapter 1: Cecilia's Escape - From Broken Vows to Independence ), and healing requires immense patience. For survivors like Cecilia, hypervigilance is a common response to the trauma of intimate partner violence. While I’ve created video content (scan the QR code below) on “The Aftermath of Leaving an Abusive Relationship,” nothing captures this journey more powerfully than a survivor’s own story. Thank you, Cecilia, for bravely sharing your experiences to raise awareness in our Beijing and greater China community. Your voice lights the way for others. Author: Cecilia (Pseudonym) Date: Aug 2025 After settling into my apartment in China, I dived into a routinary, domestic life.  I had a group of male and female colleagues who I would hang out with, and my outings consisted mostly of lunch dates and city walks. Several of them lived in my compound, as is customary if you are an expat. On a particular morning, as I left my apartment, I stumbled upon something unexpected: a package placed outside my door. I froze and took a look inside, puzzled.  There, near my feet, was a medium-sized brown bag containing a box of big, juicy strawberries and a handwritten note that said, “Happy Women’s Day”. One of my colleagues, who lived in the same compound as me, signed the note. Most women would have smiled at the content of the note and would have made sure to thank him, but I did not take it well. I stood in fear in the door frame, with the note still in my hand. The thought of someone standing outside my door the night before, while I was cooking my next day’s meal, listening to a podcast and oblivious to what was going on outside, brought shivers of fear down my back. I could picture him quietly standing outside my door and depositing the bag, maybe even listening to what was going on inside. Fear turned into anger- “how dare he?” I was so upset at the thought of someone trespassing my personal space that I slashed out on him when I saw him outside getting a bike, as I walked to the entrance of the compound. I can’t remember very well what words I used but I do remember my outrage, disproportional and overpowering. Was it really about a bag of strawberries outside my door? No. Something deeper and more sinister was coming up and it had very little to do with this morning’s incident.  This innocuous gift opened a wound that I thought I had buried inside, triggering feelings of fear and breaching my sense of safety. When I finally composed myself that morning, I connected to the scary, crippling memory that was the real cause of my fear and outrage. It had taken place many years before, when I was dating the controlling and manipulative man that would become my husband. We were in an on-and-off relationship, and every time I broke it off because of his emotional outbursts, he would look for ways to win me back. On one occasion, I had left my therapist’s office and had walked back to my car, parked in a deserted parking lot that was concealed from the street by a high fence. It was after 8pm and the only establishment nearby had closed for the day. As I approached my dim lit car, I saw a note on the windshield. When I reached out to read its content, I recognized with horror my ex’s handwriting. “How could he know I was here? Had he followed me here? And worst… was he still here?” I looked around in panic, as the silence and darkness of the place crept in on me. From then on, I did not feel safe anywhere I went and dreaded getting home at night. I realized that the fear of what I had been exposed to in the past was controlling my life and interfering with my present relationships. I knew that I urgently needed help to overcome the trauma of what I had experienced. After a friend shared with me  CandleX’s  official account, I signed up for the upcoming small group therapy sessions. (Editors’ Note: Cecilia attended  Project A’s Group Therapy for Recovering from Abusive Relationship .) One more time, I was being challenged to expand, to become more conscious, to be resourceful. Therapy made the calling, and I accepted it. Disclaimer: The editor’s note was proofread and improved by Deepseek, while the Author’s writing was not assisted by any AI in any way.

I originally written this article in English. After obtaining the preliminary Chinese translation from Deepseek, I personally refined the content with localized adaptations to bridge cultural differences between Eastern and Western perspectives, and to accommodate varying levels of psychological knowledge among readers. 本文原文我用英文撰写，中文翻译经由Deepseek完成初译后，我基于中西方文化差异和读者心理学知识背景的不同，对译文进行了细致的本地化调整和内容优化。 Author: Xiaojie Qin 2025 作者：秦小杰2025 I first learned about black-and-white thinking in the early 2010s while studying psychology—and to my surprise, I realized it was how I’d been operating for years. That was just the beginning of discovering how many cognitive distortions I’d been blind to. If I admired a supervisor, I’d feel quite uncomfortable about any criticism of them, even when it made sense. In my 20s, my self-judgment swung between extremes: one day I was ‘brilliant,’ the next a ‘total loser.’ Life felt like sailing a shaky boat on an unpredictable ocean. I was at the mercy of the weather, never knowing when the next wave might wipe me out on bad days. I wish I’d known about this earlier; it could have spared me years of disorientation and fear. 2010年代初接触心理学时，我第一次认识到'非黑即白'的思维模式——震惊地发现这竟是我多年的心理惯性。而这只是觉察众多认知扭曲的开始。当我敬重某位前辈时，听到对他们的批评就像眼里进了沙子，明明知道该审视却总自然的抛之脑后；二十多岁时，我的自我评价总在沾沾自喜的'做得不错'和自惭形秽的'彻底搞砸了'之间剧烈摇摆。那时的生活就像乘着小舟漂在海上，晴雨无常。我对风浪毫无把握，每次天气带强风就害怕自己会被打翻，因为根本不知道该如何应对。要是能早点接触心理学或者是心理咨询，或许就不会在迷惘不安中度过最青春的那十年。 Discovering cognitive distortions introduced me to Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) and gave me something revolutionary: a framework to analyze how my mind operates. That space let me observe, question my assumptions, and slowly change. When applying for my master's degree, I naturally favored programs that taught CBT as a core modality - which led me to choose Monash University's Master of Counselling. By the time I became a therapist, CBT felt like second nature. It was the cornerstone of my graduate training in counseling, and I’d also lived its transformative potential. 认知扭曲的发现，为我打开了认知行为疗法（CBT）的大门，更带来我成长的革命性的改变：一个解析自己思维运作的框架。这个视角让我能够观察自己的思维，质疑那些根深蒂固的思维模式，并逐步实现改变。申请硕士项目时，我本能地倾向以CBT为核心课程的院校——这最终指引我选择了蒙纳士大学的心理咨询硕士项目。当我开始作为心理咨询师接待来访时，CBT已如同我的第二本能。它不仅是我专业训练的根基，我亲身经历过它的蜕变力量。 CBT’s signature strength lies in its framework for understanding cognition. With therapy newcomers, I’d watch their faces light up when recognizing distortions like ‘mind-reading’ or ‘emotional reasoning’ for the first time—that moment of ‘Wait, just because I feel like a failure doesn’t mean I am one.’ Some of my clients have shared struggles, commonly with overwhelm, constant distraction, and deep frustration with their rumination. In our sessions, we worked on distinguishing between what feels urgent versus what’s truly important—a breakthrough realization. Our brains often confuse intensity with importance. CBT helps us understand thinking in two ways: sideways and depth-wise. The "Cognitive Triad" looks at thoughts sideways across three gears—how we see Self ("I’m in danger"), World ("They want to hurt me"), and the Future ("I might not survive"). In real sessions, these aren’t dry concepts but vivid stories clients share through tears or fear, sometimes filling an entire session. Then there’s the depth view: thoughts stack like a staircase. At the top are automatic reactions ("They’ll reject me"), deeper down are life rules that drive actions ("Why try when I might fail?" pushing us to overwork or avoid), and at the bottom lie core beliefs ("I’m unworthy") that color everything. As I’ve grown as a therapist, I now recognize recurring patterns much faster—when clients return with a same same but different story, I can pinpoint the roots of their struggle with increasing precision. It’s like the difference between a novice and expert physiotherapist: Where a junior might focus on the aching knee (the presenting symptom), an advanced practitioner traces the pain to an old foot injury (the core issue)—the real culprit behind the misaligned knee and strained pelvis (and yes—as a long-term yoga practitioner and teacher , I am fascinated by the human skeletal and muscular structure.). Treatment begins at the source. This sharpened vision lets me formulate cases and craft treatment plans not just increasingly more accurately, but efficiently. 认知行为疗法（CBT）最打动我的地方，是它总能带来那些"啊哈时刻"，这都基于疗法提供了认知理解的框架。——当来访者第一次意识到"原来我一直在读心术（揣测别人的想法）"，或者发现"我把情绪当事实"时，他们眼睛突然亮起来的那个瞬间，就像有人突然对你说："等等，觉得失败不代表真的失败啊！"很多来找我咨询的人都描述过类似的困扰：脑子里像有十个频道在同时播放，明明没做什么却累得像被掏空，总是控制不住反复想同一件事，越想越烦躁。在咨询室里，当我们一起练习分辨"看似紧急"和"真正重要"的区别时，总会有这样的神奇时刻——来访者突然意识到："原来我一直自动把情绪强烈的事情当作最重要的事"。我能清晰地看到，对面那个原本紧绷的身体渐渐舒展开来，眉头不再紧锁，呼吸也慢慢沉到了腹部。 认知行为疗法（CBT）从两个维度帮助我们理解思维：横向和纵向。"认知三角"横向审视我们对自我（"我很危险"）、世界（"他们想伤害我"）和未来（"我可能活不下去"）的看法。在实际咨询中，这些并非枯燥的理论，而是来访者含着眼泪或带着恐惧讲述的真实故事，有时候故事讲述会占据整个咨询时段。而纵向来看，思维就像层层堆叠的阶梯：最表层是自动反应（"他们会拒绝我"），更深层是驱动行为的生活准则及中间信念（"既然可能会失败，何必尝试？"这种念头让人过度工作或逃避），最底层则是影响一切的核心理念（"我不配"）。 随着咨询经验的积累，我现在能更快识别那些反复出现的模式——当来访者带着"相同却又不同"的故事回来时，像一个外科手术大夫一样，我能更精准定位问题的根源。这就像新手与资深理疗师的区别：新手可能只盯着疼痛的膝盖（表症），而行家却能追溯到陈年的足部旧伤（核心问题）——这才是导致膝关节错位和骨盆紧张的真正元凶（没错，我也是一个 瑜伽习练者 ， 每周都会教一节瑜伽课，我对人体骨骼肌肉结构有着执着的痴迷）。心理咨询必须从源头着手。这种日益敏锐的洞察力，让我制定的个案概念化和治疗方案不仅越来越精准，而且高效。 To me, this mirrors the psychoanalytic concept of consciousness and unconsciousness—just framed in CBT terms. The more I explore different therapy modalities, the more I notice their profound interconnections. What fascinates me most are these points of convergence, which vividly reaffirm the Daoist wisdom I've always embraced. But that’s a story for another chapter, on my increasingly integrated approach in my therapy practice. 对我而言，这恰似精神分析中"意识与潜意识"的概念——只是用CBT的术语重新诠释。当我越深入探索不同疗法流派，就越能发现它们之间深刻的共通之处。而最吸引我的正是这些交融点，它们再次印证了我一直认同的道家智慧。在之后的章节中，我会讲到，在我的咨询方式和技术上，我是如何逐渐向整合方式上转变的。 Zooming out from cognition, CBT’s full framework has a playful nickname: the ‘hot cross bun’ model. It maps the interplay between thoughts, behaviors, physical sensations, and emotions—often analyzed within a specific life situation or those seemingly inescapable, debilitating patterns we all know too well. Looking back, I now see CBT’s distinctly analytical flavor—something I couldn’t articulate when I barely knew other modalities as a newbie therapist. No wonder it resonated with me. My mind has always operated analytically: from excelling in math and science during my school years, to earning my first master's in Development Evaluation and Management at the University of Antwerp, to applying those skills as a monitoring and evaluation specialist in an international NGO. These experiences systematically sharpened my analytical abilities and problem-solving frameworks—both professionally and in life. When I became a therapist, I defaulted to what I knew best: giving people concrete elements to examine, reflect on, and change. There’s comfort in that tangibility—in a framework that makes the abstract feel ‘usable.’ 认知在CBT的框架中，只是其中的一个模块。当我们用无人机般的全景视角来观察CBT时，会发现其完整框架包含四个基本模块：思想、行为、躯体感受和情绪——这个组合有个可爱的昵称，叫"热十字面包"模型（在西方文化中，"热十字面包"（hot cross bun）是复活节传统食品，面包表面的十字象征基督教信仰；而在CBT中，这个十字形象地分割出四个相互作用的心理模块。）更重要的是，我们要关注这些模块之间动态的相互作用关系。常常会发现，当我们"头脑发热"时，其实是特定生活情境激活了我们早已形成、却未被觉察的那些令人疲惫的顽固模式。回望过去，如今我能清晰辨识CBT鲜明的分析特质——而当年作为一个新手咨询师，对别的流派了解很少的我是审视不到的。难怪它如此契合我的思维模式：学生时代数理成绩名列前茅，第一个硕士在安特卫普大学攻读发展与评估。随后，归国后多年在国际发展组织从事项目监测和评估的工作，大量参与系统构建分析与数据剖析的工作，这些精力又进一步加强了我这样的认知偏好和能力。 因此当我成为心理咨询师时，很自然地选择了自己最熟悉的工作方式：为来访者提供具体的认知要素供他们检验、反思和改变。当抽象的心理活动信息被装进清晰的框架里，改变就变得触手可及，至少在理论层面。 (I look at this with pride indeed. full score on ‘working with data’. I was nerdy, and still I am. 我第一个硕士学位的成绩单，只要跟数据相关的成绩，都拿了高分，包括‘和数据工作’的这个单元拿了💯，骄傲不骄傲) CBT comes with ‘homework’. Unless there’s a good reason not to, I almost always assign it. Some homework is experimental—like gathering data for our next session. Others focus on practicing new skills, or working toward concrete goals (e.g., ‘stop working after 8pm’ for a recovering ‘workaholic’). It could be journaling, organizing therapy notes into a resource list, watching a documentary that I recommend to them, or even taking a walk in the evening 3 times a week without the phone. Of course, assigning homework isn't as straightforward as it seems. There's real art to it - how specific should the task be? What type actually fits this particular client? How do we frame the discussion around it? What happens when a client wants to focus on one thing, but I believe something else would serve them better? And how do we handle it when homework doesn't get done? Even what we call it matters - 'homework' might work for some clients, while others respond better to 'between-session exercises'. At its core though, when done right, these between-session tasks become the engine that moves therapy forward - even though our relationship exists almost entirely within those four walls of the therapy room, well, or on the four corners of our computer screen. One brilliant teen client adored their journaling homework that unpacks triggering moments. She’d return with detailed ‘hot-cross-bun’ style entries, eager to read them aloud before I could even ask. I’d probe for missing details, highlight patterns, and eventually we named her ‘protective parts’ (this is not a CBT term, but commonly used in Internal Family System, which I’ll explain in my other chapters)—like Iron Curtain and White Tiger, each with their own strengths and purposes. Through these discoveries, we could work directly with The Iron Curtain, that descends like a mute barrier, and the White Tiger, all claws and no softness. CBT会布置"作业"。除非特殊情况，我基本都会安排。这些作业可能是：记录情绪为下次咨询准备素材，练习新学的技巧，或是完成具体目标（比如让工作狂"晚上8点后不工作"）。也可能是写日记、整理咨询笔记、看我推荐的纪录片，或者每周三次不带手机散步。 当然，布置作业可没那么简单。这里头很有讲究：任务要具体到什么程度？哪种类型最适合这位来访？怎么讨论作业内容？当来访想练A，我却觉得B更有效时怎么办？作业没完成又该如何处理？就连称呼也有门道——有人适合叫"作业"，有人更喜欢"心理练习"。 说到底，只要安排得当，这些课后任务就能成为推动咨询进展的"发动机"——尽管我们的咨访关系基本只存在于咨询室的四壁之间，或是2020年代的电脑屏幕的方寸之地。 总有那么几个来访特别喜欢作业，我有一个就读北京某国际学校的青少年来访者，格外钟情于日记作业，记录下自己心情点被触发时的事情和心里活动过。她总会带着详实的「热十字面包」式的记录来到咨询室，还没等我开口就迫不及待地朗读。我会引导她补充遗漏的细节，梳理其中的模式，后来我们甚至为她的「防御部分」命名(此处使用的"部分(parts)"概念虽非CBT术语，而是内在家庭系统疗法(IFS)的核心理念，关于这套体系我将在后续章节详细展开)——比如「铁幕」象征突然的沉默屏障，「白虎」代表只有锋芒没有柔情的状态。 Beyond its proven effectiveness, CBT’s popularity stems from its short-term, cost-efficient structure—making it a preferred choice for governments and healthcare systems worldwide. National programs like the UK’s NHS Talking Therapies and Canada’s Ontario Structured Psychotherapy Program actively promote CBT for mild-to-moderate conditions, citing its rapid symptom relief and high return on investment. Employers and insurers also favor it: Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) typically cover only 3–18 sessions per year, and hospitals under national health plans or premium insurance often reimburse just brief therapy. (reviewed and heavily edited with evidence by DeepSeek) Over coffee in Beijing, a friend who runs a counseling company for Chinese students abroad mentioned she strongly prefers working with CBT-trained therapists over psychoanalytic practitioners—primarily because of CBT’s short-term effectiveness. 认知行为治疗在国际上的通用程度很高，在国内的应用程度也越来越广。除实证疗效外，CBT的流行还得益于其短程、经济的特点——这使其成为全球医疗体系的首选方案。英国"NHS谈话疗法"、加拿大"安大略结构化心理治疗项目"等国家级计划都积极推广CBT用于轻中度症状，正是看中其见效快、投入产出比高的优势。雇主与保险公司也青睐这种模式：员工援助计划（EAP）通常每年只覆盖3-18次咨询，而医保体系下的医院或高端保险也倾向报销短程治疗。（这个部分我的原文经DeepSeek核查证据并深度编辑）在北京，有次我和一位朋友喝咖啡时聊到——她经营着一家为海外中国留学生提供心理咨询服务的公司——她说自己更倾向与接受过CBT培训的咨询师合作，而非精神分析流派的治疗师，正是因为CBT短期就能见效的特点。 While CBT has helped many clients, I quickly discovered its limitations - and my own growing edges as a therapist. That's the beautiful challenge of our work: you never know which approach will resonate with each unique person who walks through your door. I first became aware of CBT’s distinctive style when several clients—particularly Chinese clients—commented on how much more structured my sessions felt compared to their previous therapy experiences, which seem to be primarily psychoanalytic or person-centered. The responses to my CBT-oriented approach varied dramatically. Some clients flourished with the clear framework, experiencing breakthroughs in self-awareness and meaningful change. Others found it constricting - I remember sessions where the tension was palpable as we struggled between my instinct to be guided by the structure and their need for open exploration. CBT确实帮到了不少来访者，但我也很快发现了它的局限——以及我自己作为心理咨询师需要成长空间。这份工作的美妙之处就在于此：你永远不知道下一个推门进来的独特个体，会更适合哪种咨询手法。 最早让我意识到CBT特质的，是来访者的反馈。我会不定期的跟来访探讨我们咨询的方向、节奏和方式，这能让我更好的及时调整咨询方案、达到最佳效果。在我咨询的初期，好些来访，特别是部分中国来访，不约而同提到，我的咨询比起他们之前的咨询体验"框架感强得多"，经过一些简单的了解，我大致的推论是之前的咨询师多为精神分析或者是人本主义疗法方向的。 对这种结构化的工作方式，来访者的反应天差地别：有人在这种清晰的框架下如鱼得水，获得了觉察和改变；也有些来访者会感到被束缚——我清楚地记得那些充满张力的时刻：当来访者沉浸在漫无目的的叙述中，而我的结构化咨询框架要求我温和地引导他们聚焦或转换话题时，有些人的挫败感会瞬间爆发。这种干预有时会引发强烈的情绪反应，甚至暂时动摇我们的治疗联盟，曾经也有人再也没有回来咨询。 Those moments forced me to reflect: Was this CBT’s limitation, or mine? The truth is, while CBT provides invaluable structure, rigidly adhering to it (or any modality) risks missing the person in front of you. It’s a therapist’s trap—one I am learning to navigate by balancing frameworks with attunement, and it’s a long life process. A more profound limitation emerged: cognitive insight alone doesn’t guarantee behavior change. Like a surgeon, I learned that even the sharpest tools have their limits. Early in my career, I’d watch clients master CBT’s ‘mental anatomy’—mapping thoughts, emotions, and behaviors with precision—yet still struggle to act differently. Therapy, like surgery, demands the right tool for each layer of the work. A scalpel (CBT) might expose the problem, but sometimes you need forceps (EMDR) to lift emotional blockages, or sutures (IFS) to mend deeper patterns. No single instrument does it all. Those plateaus push me to learn other modalities, and taught me to adapt—switching tools even mid-session when the mind’s ‘tissue’ required a different approach. 这些咨询实战的困难让我不断思考：问题到底出在CBT本身，还是我的使用方式？虽然CBT的结构化框架很有价值，但如果死板地套用（不管什么疗法），反而会让咨询师和来访者之间失去联结感——就像两个人明明面对面坐着，却像隔着一堵玻璃墙在交流。这是很多咨询师都会遇到的职业挑战，而我的日积月累的咨询经验，让我平衡好两个相互牵拉的力量：既要保持专业框架，又要保持对来访当下状态和需求的敏感，这需要终身的修炼。 随着咨询经验增加，我逐渐认识到CBT更深层的局限：认知上的领悟并不必然带来行为改变。就像外科医生最锋利的手术刀也有力所不及之时，我目睹过太多来访者进阶到可以精准分析自己的"心理构造"——理清想法、情绪和行为之间的关联，却依然难以真正改变行动模式。 心理咨询和外科手术有些雷同，需要针对不同"心理层面"选择合适的工具。认知行为疗法（CBT）如同手术刀，能精准剖析问题；但有时需要眼动治疗（EMDR）这样的镊子，才能移除情绪淤堵；或者需要内在家庭系统疗法（IFS）这样的缝合线，来修复深层的行为模式。没有任何一种工具能解决所有问题——正是这些咨询瓶颈促使我学习其他咨询流派，教会我灵活转换疗法，当来访者的"心理组织"需要不同干预方式时，及时调整心理咨询方案和策略。 What might be the hardest challenge for any therapist: defining a therapy modality simply yet accurately. I turned to Deepseek for help distilling CBT’s essence— 对任何咨询师来说，最棘手的挑战莫过于：如何既简洁又准确地定义一种疗法。于是我向Deepseek求助，希望它能帮我提炼CBT的精髓—— Disclaimer:   I worked with Deepseek for three purposes: 1) editorial role: to refine this article - improving grammar, clarifying ideas, and smoothing the flow - while carefully preserving my personal voice, therapeutic perspective, and original intent. All therapeutic insights and opinions remain my own. 2). to double check facts regarding CBT’s application in the world 3) translate my writing from English to Chinese. Case examples in this work are either generically described scenarios without representing any single client, or real client case shared with their consent. These reflections represent generalized therapeutic observations. 特别声明： 1. 这篇文章在撰写过程中，使用了Deepseek，仅限于三个层面：1）编辑润色：对文章进行语法优化、观点澄清及行文流畅性调整，但严格保留我的个人风格、专业理念与核心观点。所有心理咨询见解与立场均出自本人；2）核实CBT在全球应用情况的相关事实；3）完成英文至中文的文本初步翻译。 2. 文中案例均为去标识化处理后的通用共性描述，内容仅代表普遍性心理咨询实操反思，或来访以授权于我的真实案例分享。