Xiaojie Qin
Psychotherapist, Director of CandleX
Sep 2024
When you observe your breath, you notice there’s a rise and a fall. The same goes with our heartbeat, the temperature of rotating seasons. There’s that rhythmic Yin Yang patter. However, in our rush from one task to another, we often overlook the importance of transitions and the need to pause between endeavors or phases of life. There is a societal pressure to constantly be productive and engaged, with rewards and praise often reserved for those who maintain a packed schedule. As a mentor of two high school teenagers, I constantly remind them to leave some space in their schedule. Our inability to take breaks and rest is concerning.
Moreover, there is a stigma attached to taking a break or stepping away from one's usual routine. Sometimes, life presents us with opportunities to pause and reflect, but we may feel embarrassed or ashamed or fear of missing out if we find ourselves temporarily unemployed or in need of time off. We rarely discuss the value of these moments in school or within our families, and many of us struggle to comfortably embrace the idea of downtime.
It took me years of practice to learn how to use the spaces between tasks and milestones effectively, and I still have a long way to go. But I am heartened to see that some youngsters are increasingly comfortable taking the time to figure things out before making life-altering decisions. During my one month downtime time (闭关)in Brazil , I encountered a group of highly motivated young people with a deep interest in nature, some of whom are embarking on gap years.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Katherine, a Chinese recent college graduate in the US who chose to take a break before pursuing her career. Her experiences and challenges offer valuable insights into the benefits of taking time off and how it can enrich our lives. I hope to share her story and the lessons she learned with you.
I call this time: In Between
In order for us to take this concept and learning to teenagers, CandleX’s teen mentee Katie’s reflected on this interview while editing it.

Katie Lai
High school student in Hongkong China 2024
Xiaojie and Katherine’s interview has said a lot. In the whirlwind of our daily routines, it’s so easy to get caught up in the busyness, always chasing the next deadline or achievement. I found that it’s so easy to overlook just how crucial it is to step back and take a deep breath. As Xiaojie and Katherine emphasized, hitting pause is a powerful way to reconnect with oneself and gain some much needed perspective.
Ever feeling overwhelmed, I encourage you to find your own pause. Give yourself permission to slow down and rediscover your true self. It may sound reckless, but sometimes the best way to move forward is to take a moment to stand still.

Comments