中文在文章后半部分 This article was originally written in Chinese by Qin Xiaojie (Counselor and Psychotherapist), and later translated into English with DeepSeek, adhering to the author’s  original intent and principles of writing about client stories . The case study presented in this article was shared with the client beforehand and published only after obtaining their written informed consent following their review. To maximize the protection of the client's privacy, all personally identifiable information has been thoroughly anonymized, and certain non-essential details have been fictitiously adapted. This article aims to share knowledge of psychology; no case is uniquely correspondent to any specific individual, and readers are advised not to identify with the content personally. Author:  Qin Xiaojie  (Psychotherapist) Time: 2025 Beijing From Brokenness to Reconstruction For two years, Xuanxuan and I established a rhythm of face-to-face sessions in the Beijing consulting room. The path of therapy is never a straight line, especially in the beginning; it often felt like taking three steps forward only to take one step back. During the most difficult periods, her depression would intensify so suddenly that she couldn't attend sessions for a whole month. However, it was a comfort to me when she once shared, "My doctor (in the hospital) said that my overall state is better when I'm in therapy with you, and I should keep coming." As a therapist, this feedback felt like a meaningful validation from a fellow professional.  Yes, our work was indeed progressing, slowly yet tangibly. The frequency of her suicidal ideation decreased, and she was able to maintain basic life and work functioning during depressive episodes. I had been deeply concerned that her periods of depression—which clouded her ability to work—might put her job at risk. Yet, in an increasingly challenging economic environment in China, she reached a point where  she almost no longer needed to take mental health leave.  She even began attempting financial planning, developing a more realistic sense of money, and her compulsive shopping gradually lessened. These were crucial safeguards for her and her family's livelihood. It was like plugging the biggest leaks in a boat taking on water—only then could it hope to sail steadily again. "I Know, But I Can't": The Barrier Between Cognition and Behavior While these improvements were encouraging, a year since we started, progress on some deeper emotional reactions and behavioral patterns seemed to hit a plateau. "I know, but I can't "—this phrase became the central paradox of our work. In the early stages of our sessions, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) was my primary framework. This is a classic "top-down" intervention—from a neuroscience perspective, it works by engaging the cerebral cortex (especially the rational and logical  prefrontal cortex ) to regulate and manage the  limbic system  responsible for emotions and memory. CBT is a structured, relatively fast-acting method. It helped us build a stable cognitive and behavior foundation without directly delving into traumatic memories, which was significantly beneficial in the short term. Image created with the assistance of Deepseek. But it also has clear limitations ( Xiaojie on Cognitive Behavior Therapy: A Therapist's Honest Take ). As therapy progressed, CBT’s marginal effects diminished, particularly for individuals with significant trauma histories. This is because traumatic experiences are primarily encoded in  non-verbal somatic sensations  and  emotional memories , stored mainly within the brain's  limbic system , specifically structures like the  amygdala  and  hippocampus . Adjustments based purely on logic and cognition often fail to reach the core of such trauma. This is also why profound psychological reconstruction (healing) ultimately requires repairing trauma rooted in bodily feelings and emotional memory — it needs a different pathway.  Experience  is the most direct way to ‘converse’ with the psyche at this level. Experience: a ‘Dialogue’ with the Limbic System During a period when Xuanxuan was relatively stable, she was able to be ‘productive’ in her various roles as a mom, a wife, and an employee. She described in one session the technique of ‘harsh words’ as self-talk was quite ‘effective’. For some people, a degree of self-discipline is necessary; we need it. But after more than twenty sessions with her, I recognized this as a sign of activated trauma at play. In that moment, I didn't praise, question, or directly present my analysis of the roots of this pattern. Instead, I summoned (really tried) my own curiosity to better understand her internal process. I invited her to explore it with me—not through logic reasoning, but by attending to the  physical sensations and images  that arose. The Felt Sense: A Bit "Woo-woo" Indeed "Where in your body do these 'harsh words' you just mentioned live?" I asked. "Here, in my chest," she said, pointing to it. "What do these words look like?" I asked. "Like a cassette tape, playing on a loop." She answered. "Good. Now, imagine taking that tape out of the player. Replace it with a new tape. This new one has recordings of kindness, gratitude, and love." I guided. She began to frown. Her body grew stiff, her breathing rapid. Sitting across from her, the stagnation I observed resonated with a thick, almost physical, resistance. My body tensed up a little as well. However, I kept my silence, in hope that she just needed a little more time. But unexpectedly, she said, "I can't... I can't put that tape in." I sat back, the weight of the moment settling on me with the realization of just how arduous this work of trauma repair truly was. This wasn't the only time this happened in our therapy room. Self-praise  was impossible. Many sessions with clients start with their own reflection of their week. One time, after Xuanxuan summarized her week, I noticed her progress. "That's truly wonderful. Before, you'd only realize after placing the order. Now you mention you can put items in the shopping cart first. I believe that's a difficult shift, and you've done really well." Sitting opposite me, it was as if she didn't hear my words. To help her internalize this positive feedback and build her capacity for  self-praise , I gently asked if she could repeat the words back to me. Yet, all she could say was, "I was just fulfilling my responsibility." “Still, it’s not an easy progress. Are you proud of yourself, even just a little?” I tried again. “No.” She replied, fast and firm. Can you imagine how that felt for me, sitting across from her? Yes, this was the therapist's countertransference—I felt a flicker of frustration and even impatience. For between-session therapeutic practices, I suggested she practice self-encouragement: writing down one small success each day and placing it in a jar. Although she expressed willingness, she never followed through. So, during one session, I placed a tea caddy on the table and invited her to write a note and put it in right then. She sat across from me and said, "I can't." We tried a few times; she wouldn't pick up the pen, let alone write or place anything inside. The room grew very quiet. She fell silent, and I allowed myself to sit in that silence, feeling my own confusion and discouragement but not get carried away by them. My intention was to gently pull her a little up from the bottom of that well. But as we began, I was once again confronted with just how deep that well was, and how arduous the deep layer of healing process truly would be. I needed other tools. Shared Space, Different Work: Client and Therapist As the therapist, I stood on the safe shore, equipped with theoretical maps that clearly showed the route to the other side. Like with my other client, Rose, ( Rose's Breakthrough | Internal Family Systems Therapy (2) ), Xuanxuan was the one in the boat, battered by the towering waves of depressive and manic episodes. Her entire will was focused on clinging to the gunwale, fighting the nausea just to survive. Steering a course was a luxury far beyond her reach. In my work with Xuanxuan, I repeatedly reviewed and revised her treatment plan with my supervisors in Australia and China, while continually deepening my foundational therapy skills and learning other therapeutic techniques. I proposed to Xuanxuan that we incorporate more experiential methods into our work. She was willing to try. It was through these experiential approaches, specifically utilizing the core concept of " Parts " from Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, that we finally managed to break through the impasse. The key to unlocking this profound impasse came from an unexpected place: the language of 'Parts' in IFS. In the next article, we'll explore how understanding and empathizing with each piece of herself began a slow, tender process of reassembly. This article is the second installment in the series about the therapy client Xuanxuan, and fourth article in the series on Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy by Qin Xiaojie. For the beginning of Xuanxuan's therapeutic journey and her initial state, please refer to the first article:  Xuanxuan's Polarized Life | Internal Family Systems Therapy (3) . This article was written in Chinese by the therapist and later translated into English using DeepSeek. It is published with the client's consent, adhering to the author’s  original intent and principles of writing about client stories . 文章由作者秦小杰（心理咨询师，心理治疗师）用中文写作，后经 deepseek翻译成英文，秉持： 写作初心和来访咨询故事写作原则 。 本文中所涉及的个案分享，先发送给来访者，经其阅读后获取书面知情同意后发表。为最大限度保护来访者隐私，所有个人识别信息再进行深度匿名化处理，并已对部分非核心情节进行虚构改编。本文旨在分享心理学知识，任何案例均不具备唯一对应性，请勿对号入座。 作者： 秦小杰  (心理治疗师，心理咨询师) 时间： 2025年北京 裂痕中的微光：在破碎与重建之间 两年间，我与璇璇在北京的咨询室里，建立起一种有节奏的面对面工作关系。咨询的轨迹从来不是一条直线，尤其在初期，常常是走三步、退一步。最艰难时，她会因抑郁突然加剧而整月咨询也没来。然而，令我欣慰的是，有一次她告诉我：“医生说，我在你这里做咨询的时候，整个人的状态要好一些，让我坚持来。” 作为一名咨询师，这是来自同行的，我最珍视的肯定。 是的，我们的工作确实在缓慢而真实地推进。她的自杀意念出现的频率降低了，在抑郁期也能维持基本的生活与工作功能。在日益严峻的中国经济环境下，我曾深深担忧她因无法履行工作职责而失业，经过心理咨询，她几乎不再需要请心理精神科病假；她甚至开始尝试财务规划，对金钱有了更真实的感知，购物行为也逐渐减少。这对她和家人的生活是至关重要的保障。这就像一艘漏水的船，先堵上最大的漏洞，才可能继续平稳航行。 “我知道，但我做不到”：横亘在认知与行为之间的壁垒 这些改善都可喜可贺，但一些更深层的情绪反应和行为模式的改善，咨询在一年多后，似乎进入了平台期。 “我知道，但我做不到” ——这句话成为我们工作中最大的悖论。 在我们合作初期，认知行为疗法(CBT)是我使用的主要框架。这是一种典型的“自上而下”的干预——从神经科学的角度看，即是通过调动 大脑皮层 （尤其是负责理性与逻辑的“ 前额叶 ”）来调节和管理负责情绪和记忆的 边缘系统 。CBT是一种结构化、见效相对迅速的方法，它帮助我们在不直接深入创伤记忆的情况下，先建立起稳定的认知基础和行为修缮，这在短期内收益显著。 但它也有着明显的局限（ 心理咨询师的坦白局：跟认知行为治疗的那几年 ) 。 随着咨询的进展，CBT边际效应递减，特别是一部分经历过较多创伤的群体，因为创伤体验主要被编码在非语言的 躯体感受 和 情绪记忆 中时，主要存储于大脑的“ 边缘系统 ”，尤其是其中的 “杏仁核” 和 “海马体” ，仅凭逻辑认知的调整，往往难以触及核心。这也是为什么，深层次的心重建，实际是在更深层的、根植于躯体感受与情绪记忆的创伤修复，它需要不同的路径去触及—— 体验 ，则是一种最直接跟这个层次进行心灵对话的方式。 体验：是大脑边缘系统的对话方式 在她状态相对稳定的一段时期，某次会谈中，我们回顾她近期的自我管理方式。她描述自己如何用尖锐的、近乎惩罚性的内在语言不断驱策自己前行。从表面上看，这种自我鞭策仿佛是一种高度自律；对许多人而言，适度的自我要求也确是 功能良好的表现 。但与她工作二十余次积累的直觉告诉我，这并非普通的自律——这是一种 创伤被激活的生存状态 。 那一刻，我没有称赞或质疑她，也没有直接分析这些模式背后的成因。我调整了自己，从好奇的角度出发，邀请她再次 体验 这个过程，并同时分享给我。 体验：是有点“神叨叨”的 “你刚刚说的‘这些刻薄的话’，在身体哪里住着？”我问。 “在胸口这里。”她指着自己的胸口。 “这些话长的样子是什么？”我问。 “像一盘磁带，一直在播放。”她回答到。 “很好。现在，想象你把这盘磁带从播放器里取出来。换一盘磁带，这个新的磁带上，都是温柔、感激和带着爱的录音。”我引导到。 她开始皱眉头，身体变得僵硬，呼吸急促。我在对面能感受到那种卡顿的状态，也将我的气一下叼了起来。那一刻，我选择了乐观，保持着沉默，相信她的内心只是需要一些时间。但出乎意料的是，她说：“我做不到…这个磁带放不进去。” 当时，引导她更换磁带的初衷，是想帮她从这口深井里往上拉一点。但她内心某个沉重的部分却将她牢牢钉在原地，这让我再次真切体会到，这场心灵救援的工程是何等艰难。 这种情况不止一次的在我们的咨询室里发生。 我跟来访的咨询，常会以他们回顾当周的生活工作开始。一次，璇璇总结了下她一周的生活工作状态，我看到了她的进步。“真棒，以前你都下完单了才反应过来。今天你提到，你现在可以先把东西放到购物框里了，我相信这是很难的一个转变，你做的很好。”她坐在对面，仿佛听不到我说的话，为了增强她自我赞美的能力。我请她复述我讲的肯定，她却只能说：“我只是尽到了责任而已。”“这也是很不容易的事情，你有没有一丝的自豪？”我再次尝试。“没有。”她快速而坚定的回答到。你可以想象坐在对面的我是何种心情吗？是的，这是咨询师的反移情——我不理解为何复述会如此困难，甚至感到些许沮丧和不耐烦。 我也给她布置过“作业”进行自我鼓励：将每天做好的小事写下来放入罐中。尽管她表示愿意尝试，却从未完成。于是有一次，我在咨询中直接放置了一个茶叶罐，邀请她当场写下一张纸条放入。她坐在对面，说：“我做不到”。我们尝试了几次，她都不拿笔，我写字，更别提往里放了。咨询室里，变得很安静，她不讲话，我也允许自己在不语中感受自己的困惑和沮丧。 每次我使劲把璇璇往上拉时，她内心有一个部分都用绝对力量保持这原地不动。在这几幕场景中，我都在跟一个“严厉的监督者”交锋（一个战略性的失误），并且屡战屡败。这个部分并非理性的自我管理，而是她在童年为应对一个有家庭暴力的环境，所分裂出的一个保护部分，此刻正被熟悉的压力再次唤醒。深层次的疗愈的过程是多么的艰巨（要看到心理咨询工作的效果，必须我和璇璇初次碰面时，那种支离破碎的状态为起点，请先阅读：来访旋旋： 高功能外表下的双相风暴与咨询困局｜内在家庭系统治疗（3) ），我应该需要用别的工具。 同在一个空间：咨询师和来访的体验和功课并不同 我，做为一名咨询师，站在安全的岸上，凭借理论地图，能清晰地指出去往彼岸的航线。跟我的另一位来访蕊芬一样，在黑暗中，她看不到路（ 来访蕊芬：从黑暗到光明的意向转变 ）。而旋旋，她是那艘在情绪惊涛骇浪中几近倾覆的小船的亲历者，抑郁期和躁狂期的巨浪一次次将她淹没，她的全部意志都用于紧抓船舷、对抗呕吐感以求生存，无力奢谈航向。 跟璇璇的咨询，我多次跟我澳洲的督导师、国内的督导都复盘修改她的咨询方案，并且不断加深自己的咨询基础技能和其他咨询技巧的学习。逐渐的，我跟璇璇提议，之后用更多体验的方式工作，她愿意尝试。而这种体验方式，我就使用了“ 内在家庭治疗（IFS) ” 的最核心的“部分”得意突破瓶颈，下一篇章，我会详细阐述。 此文是“来访璇璇咨询故事”的第二篇，为“内在家庭系统治疗（IFS）文章系列-秦小杰著”的第四篇。璇璇的咨询起点以及状态请见第一篇，来访旋旋： 高功能外表下的双相风暴与咨询困局｜内在家庭系统治疗（3 ） 。作者用中文写作，后经Deepseek翻译成英文。经来访同意后发表，秉持 咨询故事写作初心的原则 。

中文在文章后半部分 文章由作者秦小杰（心理咨询师，心理治疗师）用中文写作，后经deepseek翻译成英文，秉持： 写作初心和来访咨询故事写作原则 。本文中所涉及的个案分享，先发送给来访者，经其阅读后获取书面知情同意后发表。为最大限度保护来访者隐私，所有个人识别信息再进行深度匿名化处理，并已对部分非核心情节进行虚构改编。本文旨在分享心理学知识，任何案例均不具备唯一对应性，请勿对号入座。 本文为内在家庭系统治疗（IFS）文章系列的第三篇，您可点击下方阅读前两篇： 内在家庭系统治疗 (IFS) 简介 来访蕊芬：从黑暗到光明的意向转变 (Full article is available in Chinese in the latter part of this document) This article was originally written in Chinese by Qin Xiaojie (Counselor and Psychotherapist), and later translated into English with DeepSeek, adhering to the author’s original intent and principles of writing about client stories . The case study presented in this article was shared with the client beforehand and published only after obtaining their written informed consent following their review. To maximize the protection of the client's privacy, all personally identifiable information has been thoroughly anonymized, and certain non-essential details have been fictitiously adapted. This article aims to share knowledge of psychology; no case is uniquely correspondent to any specific individual, and readers are advised not to identify with the content personally. This article is the third installment in our series on Internal Family Systems Therapy. You can read the previous articles by clicking the titles below: The Gentle Intro | Internal Family System Therapy (1) Rose's Breakthrough | Internal Family Systems Therapy (2) Author:   Qin Xiaojie Time: 2025 Beijing The Beginning: A Stiff Smile, A Shattered Inner World On a summer day in 2020s, Xuanxuan walked into the counselling room in Beijing and sat down across from me. Despite the severity of her depression, the corners of her mouth were still pulled upwards into a polite, yet heavy, smile—as if to spare me the full weight of her burden. But her body told a different story: her movements were stiff, like a marionettes, and her fingers trembled slightly between words, especially when she held a pen. She was in the worst phase of her life. Depression had eroded her ability to function—she struggled with responsibilities at work and found it difficult to return after a holiday. By all external measures, she had an enviable career, and a lovely family. Yet, she was also a client experiencing  mild to moderate suicidal ideation at that time . Fortunately, she was already under the care of a psychiatrist and receiving regular psychotherapy from the Chinese hospitals. This medical support was the essential foundation that allowed our work together to begin. As her therapist, I understood the ethical necessity of this safety net; I could not ethically support a high-risk client without it. The Aware Yet Wounded: A "Veteran" in Psychological Distress Xuanxuan was no novice to psychological work. Before coming to me, she had two years of psychiatric treatment, had been on medication, and had participated in both individual and group therapy. These interventions had been vital. She was fluent in the language of therapy, using terms like "regression" to describe her state and displaying clear insight into how her family of origin affected her. From her accounts, I gathered that previous therapists had likely employed psychodynamic approaches, focusing heavily on cognitive adjustment. Around our one-year mark, she received a preliminary diagnosis from her doctor: Bipolar Disorder. When she was functioning well, Xuanxuan was exceptional—meticulous and responsible at work, a devoted mother and wife who silently shouldered family financial pressures without complaint when needed, and a supportive figure for friends and even strangers. But during one session, using a visualization exercise, she described her inner world: "I feel like I'm carrying so much on my back that I'm already hunched over, yet I keep adding more." Her sense of responsibility, kindness, and drive came at the cost of profound self-depletion. She was intellectually aware of how her perfectionism consumed her. Anxiety manifested in compulsive behaviors—repetitive cleaning and uncontrollable shopping sprees, especially during low moods, where she would buy things she didn't need, losing all sense of the monetary reality, completely disconnecting from the financial reality of her actions. She knew this compulsive spending was a maladaptive strategy to cope with emotional tsunamis, one that was eating away at the family's finances and threatening its stability. Yet the pattern remained stubbornly entrenched. During depressive episodes, she became paralyzed. "I did nothing all weekend, just lay in bed, sleeping or scrolling on my phone," she'd say. "I don't want to see my children. I have no energy for them; their presence irritates me." Her world seemed muted, wrapped in a concerning "sense of separation." "When I walk on the street, I don't notice cars until they are very close," she described—a clear sign of derealization dissociation, the mind's way of insulating itself from unbearable pain. This dissociative quality was palpable in our sessions. Even when recounting childhood domestic violence, her tone remained flat, as if narrating someone else's story. It reminded me of a client from my therapy group for survivors of domestic violence I had facilitated years ago (memories documented in  A Snapshot of Project A’s Group Therapy | The Therapist’s View ). That client had little memory of her childhood—a form of  dissociative amnesia —until one session when she suddenly recalled being sexually abused as a child, recounting it with the same eerie calm. What truly gripped me during those early days with Xuanxuan was one simple mindfulness exercise. I asked her to look out the window and tell me what she saw. Gazing outside, she said softly, "I see many people jumping from the building across the street." In that moment, I felt as if I were standing at the edge of a deep well, having accidentally dropped a stone and waiting an eternity for the faint echo from the depths. The well was deep—so deep it stole my breath. Beneath her calm surface a world shattered into pieces. This is where we began. Our work would not be to dismiss the fragments, but to understand each one. The next article explores how IFS helped us listen to the voices within the shatters. 作者： 秦小杰 时间：2025年北京 起点：僵硬的微笑，破碎的世界 北京几年前的一个夏日，旋旋第一次推开咨询室的门，坐在我面前。 尽管她抑郁已经非常严重，嘴角依然努力向上扬起，形成一个礼貌却沉重的微笑——似乎是不想让她的沉重压到我。可她的身体，却在无声地诉说着真实的内心：步伐僵硬，如同提线木偶；指尖在交谈间隙微微颤抖，尤其在握笔书写的时刻，格外明显。 那时的她，正处在生命中最糟糕的阶段。抑郁几乎吞噬了她全部的功能，部分工作职责无法承担，甚至在假期结束后难以返岗。她拥有一份旁人羡慕的工作，一段稳定的婚姻，可爱的孩子——可同时，她也是一个有着轻中度自杀意念的来访者。 值得庆幸的是，她已经在医院精神科接受药物治疗和定期的心理治疗。这是我们能够开始工作的安全基石。 作为她的心理咨询师，我深知伦理边界：我无法独自承接高风险来访，医疗系统的治疗是我们工作的前提。 资深觉察者与沉默的伤痛 旋旋并非心理世界的初学者。在来到我这里之前，她已有两年的精神科就诊史，服用多种精神科药物，同时接受个体和团体心理治疗。这些早期干预成为了她生命的重要保障。 她对心理学术语如数家珍，言语间带着“退行”等心理专业词汇描述自己的状态，对原生家庭的影响也有清晰认知。听她的讲述，我推测之前的心理治疗师可能运用了精神分析等方法进行了大量的认知调整。 在我们工作满一年时，医院给出了初步诊断： “双相情感障碍” 。 当她功能良好时，她是一名出色的职场人——细致、负责、有担当；也是一位无微不至的母亲和妻子，甚至在家庭经济困难时默默扛起生计重担、而毫无怨言；在朋友、甚至是陌生人需要帮助和支持时，她都会托举起他们。但我们在咨询中，用视觉化方式探索自我体验时，她这样描述：“我觉得自己背了很多东西，都已经驼背了，我还不停地往上放。” 这，是一种以过度消耗为代价的责任感、善良和努力。 她清楚自己的“完美主义”如何消耗着自己。无论是在工作还是育儿中，她都承受着的焦虑，并发展出一些强迫倾向的行为：反复拖地、无法自控的购物——尤其在情绪糟糕时，会购买大量不需要的东西，对金钱失去真实感知。她深知自己的疯狂购物行为是一种应对情绪海啸的无效策略，已经啃食家庭重要经济支柱，而可能最后摧毁这个家庭，但这个模式异常顽固，难以改变。 在抑郁发作期，她会陷入全面瘫痪。“这个周末我什么都没干，一直在床上躺着，睡觉，或者刷手机。”“我不想看到孩子，我没有一点力气为他们做事情，看到他们我感到烦躁。”同时，她的世界仿佛被静了音，存在一种令人担忧的“隔膜感”。“走在路上，汽车开到很近了我才感觉到。”—这是一种 现实解体的解离体验 ，心灵在过度痛苦时为自己装上一层保护膜，让我们得以存活。 这种解离的状态，在我们的咨询中时有体现。即便讲述童年遭受的家庭暴力，她的语气也平静得像在诉说别人的故事，情绪仿佛被一层无形的薄膜隔绝。多年前，我带领家暴女性康复团体（咨询回忆收藏在了我当年写的这篇文章中： A Snapshot of Project A’s Group Therapy | The Therapist’s View ）时的一位来访者——她对童年几乎毫无记忆（一种 遗忘型解离) ，直到某次咨询中突然回忆起年幼时遭受的性侵经历，而她叙述时，脸上也是这般不起波澜的平静。 跟璇璇一起的初期，让我心头一紧的，是一次简单的正念练习。我请她看看窗外，告诉我看到了什么。她凝视窗外，轻声说：”我看到很多人从对面楼上跳下来“。那一刻，我仿佛站在一口深井边缘，无意间投下一块石子，隔了许久才听见从极深处传来那一声微弱的回响——井很深，深得让我不由地屏住了呼吸。她平静的表面下，是一片从未被踏足过的支离破碎的废墟。 我们的工作就是从这里开始的。我们要做的不是选择放弃一些碎片，而是去深刻的理解每一片。下一篇文章，我会讲述我是如何开始逐渐使用“内在家庭系统治疗”，以及它如何在‘由上至下’的咨询流派边际效应递减为零时，显现出它超强的治愈优势的。

On the 10th anniversary of our Mental Health Peer Support Group, let’s hear the experience from one of our participants!

Today is World Trauma Day. Sometimes, even the world "trauma" itself can feel broken - but our stories of healing don't have to be. At CandleX, we have worked with many forms of trauma, including abusive relationships, sex addiction, incomplete loss and grief, and suicidality. This year, we are focusing on the profound impact of  intimate relationship trauma. Your story is part of your journey, but it does not define you. Begin Your Understanding: Recognize the signs with our guide:  What is Emotional Abuse? | Classroom Find Connection and Strength: Read about the power of shared healing in our group therapy reviews: Psychotherapy on Healing from Abusive Relationships | Group and Individual Therapy A Snapshot of Project A’s Group Therapy | The Therapist’s View Witness a powerful journey of Cecilia’s resilience: Cecilia's Escape - From Broken Vows to Independence Cecilia in the Aftermath – Haunted by Petals Your Next Steps with CandleX: In Crisis? Be Brave. Reach Out. Access immediate support:  Crisis Hotlines Begin Your Healing Journey. Explore one-on-one support:  Psychotherapy Services Find Your Community. Connect with others:  Mental Health Peer Support Group You are not alone. Click the links to find your path forward.

Want to use your design skills to support mental health?  We are looking for a passionate Graphic Designer (or wanna-be) to help us maintain our visual identity and produce visual materials. About Our Team: You’ll be joining a stable, diverse, and global team of talented, easy-going, and supportive individuals who value professionalism, reliability, and team spirit. We work together to make a difference in the field of mental health in China, and we also believe in having fun, trying new things, and growing together—because happy volunteers are effective volunteers! Key Responsibilities: Design a range of digital materials, including social media graphics, posters, event flyers, and web banners. Help develop and maintain a consistent visual identity for CandleX across all platforms. Create engaging visuals for our WeChat account and website. Support other teams with basic design work as needed. We Offer You: A Portfolio of Real-World Projects:  Gain experience creating designs for a real and impactful cause. A Supportive & Growth-Focused Environment : Personal growth is our key principle. Receive personal growth mentoring from our director,  Xiaojie Qin , an experienced psychotherapist. An opportunity to explore other roles like communications, event organizing, or public speaking. Try new things and find what clicks with you! Better self-awareness and relationship management at work, and a sense of meaning and belonging. Practical Perks: A volunteer certification upon request. Free tickets to our events, and tickets of our partners. We're Looking for Someone Who Is: Able to work  online , make a meaningful contribution with a flexible time commitment of  5-6 hours per month . Reliable, able to work independently, and committed to a  minimum of one year . Has a good eye for layout, color, and typography. If you don’t have sufficient experiences, that’s okay, as long as you are open to learning on the job! Fluent in English (our working language); fluency in Chinese is a plus. Passionate about mental health and community building. We have been supporting teenagers with their mental health, and we strongly encourage teenagers and college students that has an interest in this field to apply! Steps to Apply: Take a look at our website (www.candlex.cn) and WeChat account, for the posters, and illustrations that we currently have. Please send your CV. DISC test:  https://discpersonalitytesting.com/free-disc-test/  choose the free version. If any, a link to your portfolio (or 2-3 design samples) to:  xiaojie.qin@candlex.cn

Editor: Xiaojie Qin Date: Sep 2025 Two years ago, I ran into CYN. "I’m moving," she told me. "My husband died." The news stopped me cold. That must have been crushing, I thought—yet there she was, living fully: creating, working, persisting. Only later did I learn the truth: her husband had died by suicide. I hesitated to reach out, stopped by the fear that my words might wound rather than comfort. Earlier this year, as I planned for today’s World Suicide Prevention Day, I kept thinking about her. At CandleX, we confront stigma by amplifying voices often silenced—not just sharing pain, but the quiet strength that follows. For a decade, our community writing project has thrived on this alchemy: raw honesty meets resilience, offering others a mirror for their own unspoken battles. I wondered if CYN might let us honor her journey, if her story of recovery could light the way for those still lost in the dark. She accepted our invitation, and after working together for two months, here is her story. Navigate your story with clarity and courage.  CandleX's supportive program ( Coaching Support for Your Mental Health Stories ) blends guided coaching with the power of writing to help you make sense of your mental health experiences. Author: CYN (pseudonym) Date: Aug 2025 “How are you?” an old friend from Shanghai asked when we met for brunch at a small café in Beijing, a couple of weeks after the funeral. It’s what everyone asks after someone dies. And the grieving often say, “I’m okay.” Not because it’s true, but because the real answer feels like too much. Too raw. Too hard to explain. “Well,” I said. “Things have settled. My husband’s gone. I’m —” I paused, suddenly aware this was the first time I’d said it out loud. A widow. The word felt foreign in my mouth. Almost antiquated. Like I was trying on something old, theatrical, not quite mine. And yet, somehow, it lit me up. Like saying it out loud unlocked something. Not grief. Not pity. Power. I felt like Scarlett Johansson in  Black Widow , stepping into leather and combat boots. I felt like a badass. And I had an eight-year-old sidekick at my side. Little did I know I’d need all that power for what was still to come. I wasn’t angry at my husband for ending his life. He had been quietly suffering from depression for years, and I knew he had tried his best—just as I told our son: “Daddy tried his best and loved us very much. But he was ill. We all tried our very best.” He didn’t leave a note. So it was left to my imagination to make sense of it. Maybe he believed he was doing us a favor. Maybe he thought it was an act of sacrifice—that his presence would only hold us back from truly living. I kept hoping I’d find something. A letter. A message. Some final clue. One night, missing him more than usual, I pulled a journal from the corner of a bookshelf. He hadn’t written in them regularly, but still—I thought maybe, just maybe, I’d find a few words meant for me. Instead, I opened a Pandora’s box of secrets. In it, he wrote about his struggles with infidelity. Regret. Guilt. Close calls—moments when I almost caught him. He wrote about how stupid he felt, risking everything. How much he wanted to be a good man, but how strong his inner demons were. On the last page, dated a year before his death, there were only a few scribbles of despair. No answers. No goodbyes. Just silence.  The husband I thought I had didn’t exist. I stared at the pages in disbelief. The life I’d known dissolved in an instant. I couldn’t find my footing. What had ever been real? That’s when the deeper grief began—not just for the man I lost, but for the life I thought we had. Fifteen years, rewritten in an instant. I closed the journal. And still, I had to tuck my son into bed as if nothing had happened. I kissed his forehead, pulled the blanket around him, held him close. Inside, a hard truth settled in: this wasn’t just a betrayal of trust. It was a betrayal of reality itself. A slow, invisible unraveling I hadn’t seen, until it all fell apart. How could he do this? Had any of it been real? Who was he? I kept thinking about all the relationship work we’d done over the years—the hours spent talking through conflicts with nonviolent communication, sharing reflections on Tara Brach’s  Radical Acceptance  over dinner dates. One of the last things he said to me was that he appreciated how I had shown him how to accept himself. We created safety for each other. We practiced vulnerability. We were—at least I thought we were—authentic. Was it all an illusion? And then the blame turned inward. How could I be so stupid? So naive? I replayed every moment, looking for the signs I had missed. The red flags. The gut feelings I brushed aside. I felt like a fool—for trusting, for loving, for believing we were in this together. And then there were the humiliations I never saw coming. After the funeral, a man I’d never met approached me to offer condolences. He said how much he admired my husband. Then added, almost laughing, “He introduced me to lots of girls. I mean, I was forty, a Harvard grad, and still hadn’t found the one.” It wasn’t until later—after I read the journal—that I realized what he was really saying. He knew. It felt like he was taunting me.  You were so clueless. So gullible. This wasn’t just about private betrayal—it was public. Some people knew and even enabled it. I felt humiliated. He felt more like an ex-husband than a late one. But I couldn’t divorce him. I didn’t get to choose. I still had to call him my husband. Sometimes I thought: maybe I should marry a stranger just so I wouldn’t have to say that word anymo re. I didn ’t choose this. I didn’t choose to become a single mom. I didn’t choose to be betrayed. I didn’t choose to be left alone to raise our son, holding the pieces of a life I no longer recognized. But I  could  choose how I would respond. And soon, something in me stirred—an awareness that this pain wasn’t unfamiliar. I had met it before. It was as if life had been quietly preparing me—not through comfort, but through difficulty. Each loss, each heartbreak, each healing effort laying the foundation of resilience.  My first real lesson came in college, when my boyfriend cheated on me. Though devastated, I made a quiet vow: I wouldn’t let it harden me. I wouldn’t let betrayal turn me bitter. I would keep trusting. Keep loving. Keep believing in the goodness of people. That promise stayed with me. It still does. In college, I had a psychology professor who often reminded us:  “ Be slow to judge. Understand the story behind the behavior.” That phrase stayed with me. It shaped how I saw people. Beneath the betrayal, the lies, the harm, there’s usually something else. Unprocessed trauma. Unspoken shame. Pain that twists people away from who they really are. Hurt people hurt people  became a kind of mantra for me—not to excuse the hurt, but to see the woundedness behind the hurtful behavior. I had already done a lot of inner work years before my husband died. Coaching. Meditation. Somatic work. Books about trauma and healing. I journaled. I practiced self-compassion. I learned how to sit with discomfort, to soften around pain instead of running from it. Perhaps most of all, I learned how to surrender.  Some pain was beyond tools. On those days, I could only lie down—sometimes literally, face down on the floor—and ask the Universe to hold me through it. I hadn’t realized I was building emotional infrastructure—and weaving a circle of soul companions I could lean on when everything fell apart. So when the floor gave out, I didn’t collapse. I had something to stand on. And I wasn’t alone in the dark. I began to imagine: What if, before this life, we had made a soul contract? That in this lifetime, we would be husband and wife not to fix each other, but to grow through our own darkness. To learn that humans are messy, contradictory, and still worthy of love. I often think of Persephone. I descended into the underworld. I’ve seen what’s down there—the grief, the betrayal, the silence. And now I’ve come back up — changed. Not bitter, but clearer. I no longer see people as simply good or bad. We are all both. And learning to accept even the darkest parts of him—and myself—was part of how I chose to heal. I don’t see him as evil. I never have. He was deeply wounded.  As Father Greg Boyle says, people are unshakably good. It’s the illness, the trauma, the pain that makes them act in hurtful ways—makes them forget who they really are. I still believe in that goodness—no longer with blind trust, but with clear eyes. So I began again. We’ve moved to a new country since then—to begin a different life. And on days when I feel unsure or unsteady, I still think of the Black Widow—her confidence, her strength, her grit. All superheroes have scars. Widow. It still sounds strange sometimes. But it’s no longer a label I was handed. It’s a strength I’ve claimed. Widow. Woman. Mother. Betrayed. Whole. I carry them all. And I walk forward. Disclaimer: The editor’s note was proofread and improved by Deepseek, while the Author’s writing was assisted by AI in a role of a writing coach.

Xiaojie Qin  | Psychotherapist | Beijing This year (2025), I began sharing stories of my therapy sessions with clients as part of our CandleX’s  Psychoeducation  Program. I’d like to take this opportunity to share the intentions and principles behind these writings. 1. Gratitude to My Clients None of these stories could be shared without the trust and consent of my clients. I am deeply grateful for your support of my role as a “dual-role” mental health professional. Currently, half of my work is dedicated to therapy, and the other half to directing mental health programs both in the community and corporate world. These articles are intended not only for general readers, but also to offer reassurance to those hesitant about starting therapy—giving them a glimpse behind the closed doors of the therapy room. I am also involved in several initiatives supporting the growth of the mental health field, including guiding aspiring professionals through regular webinars and facilitating community and corporate workshops. Many participants have expressed appreciation for these shared stories. It is the courage, progress, and healing of my clients that bring light to those still struggling. On their behalf, I extend my heartfelt thanks. 2. Exploration of Therapeutic Technique Although my recent (summer of 2025) articles are organized by different therapeutic approaches, I recognize that psychotherapy encompasses both foundational micro-skills and broader theoretical frameworks. From a “helicopter view,” everything is interconnected. My intent is not to argue that one approach is superior to another, but rather to illustrate how each has been both beneficial and limiting throughout my professional practice. When writing, I immerse myself deeply (maybe a bit too deep on some days sitting for hours) in reviewing a particular client’s full therapeutic journey—spanning several months to several years. The process for each article is meticulous yet profoundly meaningful: I reflect on how techniques were applied and refine my understanding of each method’s strengths and constraints. Although framing my writing within therapeutic traditions has its imperfections, it helps me transition from structured techniques toward a more intuitive, fluid practice. I see myself gradually progressing toward a formless mastery—much like a follower of the Dao. 3. Exploring “What Kind of Therapist I Am” The therapeutic space is filled with emotion—not only for clients, but for therapists as well. I hope to convey the inner world of the therapist: the challenges, reflections, and continual self-growth that this work demands. This reflective process not only deepens my own skills but also serves as a form of public education. Within a mental health landscape that can often feel crowded and confusing, I hope my stories encourage readers to look beyond titles and credentials, and focus instead on the process and substance of therapy itself. I hold a Master’s degree in Counseling from Monash University and two Chinese national certifications: National Level Three Psychological Counselor and National Psychotherapist. That said, I discourage placing excessive emphasis on distinctions between titles such as “psychologist,” “therapist,” or “counselor.” When a practitioner sits with a client, what truly matters is the therapeutic process itself. 4. Using Labels with Great Caution Diagnostic or psychological labels can serve as useful tools for practitioner’s learning, understanding and communication. Clients may even initially find relief in a label—it can settle a confused mind. Yet this often comes at the cost of limiting their belief in their capacity to transform. No label can fully capture a living person. I hold myself from describing my clients as “a bipolar case” or “passive-aggressive,” as is common in many clinical articles. Instead, I see them as people navigating complex emotions, each with unique stories and profound courage. I strive for my writing to feel light—to ease burdens, not add to them. 5. Illustrating “Gradual Recovery” Healing is not a binary shift from “disordered” to “healthy.” It is a gradual, non-linear path. Through my writing, I hope to encourage us all to step away from simplistic black-and-white thinking and embrace a more nuanced, progressive view of human experience. 6. Presenting the Real Therapeutic Relationship The stories I share include not only ‘successes’, but also moments of ‘failure’.My clients and I share a human encounter—a process of trial and adjustment that defies any textbook formula. Through authentic narration of actual therapy room experiences, I hope readers can see that the therapeutic relationship is dynamic and resilient—marked by collaboration, tension, transference and countertransference, moments of rupture and repair, and sometimes even disappointing departure. This reminds me, as a therapist, to keep growing—to support clients with greater sensitivity and fluency as we both navigate cognitive and emotional shifts, reducing unnecessary distress along the way. 7. Creating a “Healing Experience” Each article is first shared with the protagonist of the story—my client—and I obtain their formal consent for publication. This is not merely an ethical requirement; it is part of the healing experience I wish to offer to my clients. Sharing is caring, they say. Reading Irvin Yalom’s  The Gift of Therapy  deeply inspired me. His practice of occasionally reviewing the therapy process in writings with clients between sessions struck me as ethically delicate during my training, yet I deeply admire how a master therapist can—with stability and heartfelt care—guide clients into unexpected places of healing. When a client reads their own story, told with respect, understanding, and tenderness, and sees their struggle reframed as an act of self-protection rather than a flaw—that moment becomes a powerful affirmation and witness to their journey. I share with this intent. 8. Use of AI in the Writing Process As an bi-lingual therapist (Chinese and English), I let my emotions choose the language it wants to use for this articles. Some articles were written in Chinese, some in English. In both cases, artificial intelligence was used as a tool to assist in the writing process. I take caution in the use of AI, but limit it for its support in organizing early drafts and serving as an editor—refining grammar, clarifying ideas, and improving flow—while always preserving my personal voice, professional values, and core perspectives. All therapeutic insights and positions expressed originate from me. Thank you for reading and for your understanding. 秦小杰 ｜心理咨询师/心理治疗师| 北京 今年（2025年），我开始分享我和来访的咨询故事。在这里，我想谈谈书写这些故事时的初心与约定。 1. 感谢我的来访 没有来访的支持与同意，这些故事无法被发表。我由衷感谢你们支持我作为“两栖”心理健康工作者的角色——目前，心理咨询占我工作的一半，另一半则用于心理健康教育倡导和社区社会情感项目支持。 所写的文章除了供大众阅读，也希望能给那些犹豫是否咨询的人一些故事，让他们了解闭门的咨询室中发生着什么。我也一直为行业做些小事：支持徘徊在行业门口的人，通过定期在线研讨会分享从业经验，提供参考信息；在社区与企业工作坊中，大家也很感谢我能把故事在共同空间中讲述。这些故事凝聚关注，也传递力量——是来访所呈现的勇气、进步与修复，给予了仍在挣扎的人希望。在此，我替他们感谢我的来访。 2. 咨询技术探索 尽管近期 （ 2025年夏）文章多以流派分类写作，但我深知，咨询技术既有基础的微观技巧，也有所谓流派之分。若以“直升机视角”来看，万物彼此关联。我并不想讨论某一流派优于另一流派，更多是想呈现：在我专业成长的过程中，不同流派都带给我巨大助益，同时也存在局限。 书写时，我会深入回顾整个咨询过程——一个来访咨询短至数月，长至数年。书写过程繁琐却珍贵：重新审视技术应用，进而思考某一模式的适用与局限，以及我作为咨询师擅长的和还需学习改进的。以流派为章节分类来写作，是简便的一种方式，而这个过程帮助我更好的整合这些技术，将有形技术逐渐融于无形。 3. 探索“我是怎样的咨询师” 在咨询空间中，来访者会经历诸多情绪，而咨询师同样也会。我希望呈现出咨询工作中的情绪、挑战与反思，以及一个咨询师所需的自我成长。我坚信，一个好的心理咨询工作者，是有着足够自我觉察、自我调节能力、也是不断在自我实现中生活工作。这样的整理，既能深化我的技术，也是一种社会倡导——希望在这个繁杂混乱的咨询市场中，大家更关注技术与修炼，而非标签。 我持有国家颁发的心理咨询师证和心理治疗师证，但并不鼓励过度纠结“心理学家”“咨询师”或“治疗师”等职称差异。当一位从业人员坐在来访面前，我们更应聚焦的，是咨询过程本身。 4. 拒绝“标签化” 诊断标签是为了便于理解与沟通，但它无法定义任何一个活生生的人。尽管一些来访也可从标签中感受到瞬间的焦虑释放和平和，但标签是一个隐形的框架，它终将成为阻碍一个人最大限度的发展，撕下标签，是一个沉重且不必要的负担。 我的工作对象，我尽我所力，去转化“一个双相患者”或“一个多动症患者”，为“一个正经历多种情绪、有独特故事和巨大勇气的人”。我希望文字是轻盈的，是来卸下负担，而非增添负担。 5. 展现“渐进式康复” 我希望让大众了解真实的咨询过程是怎样的。心灵的康复，并非从“健康”到“不健康”的二元切换，而是一条蜿蜒曲折的渐进之路。愿我们所有人能偶尔跳出简便的二元建构，渐进而细腻地观察世界。 6. 呈现真实的咨访关系 在分享的咨询故事中，不仅有‘成功’的经验，也有‘失败’的片段。我希望通过这些真实的叙述，让大家认识到咨访关系是一个充满弹性的过程，其中包含咨询师与来访者之间的互动、移情与反移情、关系的破损与修复——这些都是常见甚至必要的历程，甚至有些历程是无法再续的遗憾。咨询并非总是“来访时刻被稳稳接住”的理想化体验，而是充满人性化的尝试与调整。这也提醒我作为咨询师要不断进步，在帮助来访者进行认知调整或情感整合时，更加敏锐地减轻过程中的痛苦，让咨询体验更加自然流畅。 7. 被分享“疗愈的体验” 尤其重要的是，这些文章会先经由故事的主人公——我的来访者——过目，并取得书面授权。这不仅关乎知情同意，我希望他们在阅读时，也是一个疗愈体验。 读欧文·亚隆的《给心理治疗师的礼物》时，我深受触动。他会在咨询间隔与来访互信，分别回顾彼此咨询过程的体验——这种非常规操作，依我所学的伦理来看，仿佛走钢丝，但正是他书中提到，这个过程，出其不意的加深了他们的治疗效果。于我而言，当（已结束咨询的）来访读到自己的咨询故事，被以尊重、理解与温柔的方式讲述，当他们的挑战被理解为一种努力的自我保护而非缺陷，我希望他们感受到我本有的对他们的深刻的见证与肯定。 8. 写作中人工智能的使用 作为一个双语（中文、英文）心理工作者，我习惯性的部分文章用中文写，部分用英文（看当时我的情绪语言是什么）。无论哪种语言，在撰写中我使用了人工智能辅助，感谢它协助整理初稿，担任编辑角色：优化语法、澄清观点、调整流畅度，但严格保留我的写作风格、专业理念与核心观点，所有心理咨询见解与立场均出自本人。 感谢您的阅读与理解。

The article was written by the author in English, and translated by Deepseek to Chinese. 文章由作者用英文撰写，后经Deepseek翻译成中文，作者校对后发表。中文版在页面第二部分。 Author:  Xiaojie Qin 2025.08 Beijing (With client’s consent to share) About Rose December 2023. Rose (name changed), a woman in her late 40s, came to see me through recommendations. She presented as what I call an  "advanced client" —who had not only built a stable life as a Beijing expat, but had done the hard work of personal growth for years. The immediate trigger was the rupture of a decade-long friendship that had served as an emotional anchor. "I've worked on my somatic system before—it really helped,"  she told me in that first session, demonstrating the self-awareness. Rose knew her psychology basics, could articulate her presenting issues, and key childhood background, and had clearly benefited from previous therapeutic work. We worked for 9 months together, which she showed up: consistently punctual, deeply engaged in our rhythm of sessions, and with that gold combination of kindness and determination that predicts therapeutic progress. Her resourcefulness wasn't just impressive—it was the foundation we'd build on. Joyful Progress Our work together progressed quickly. We began by addressing the grief surrounding the close friendship loss that had initially brought her to therapy. As we moved forward, we turned our focus to her lifelong anxiety using Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), targeting two core themes: "I am responsible", which improved her boundary setting abilities through reduction of fear, and "I am in danger" - both rooted in her fundamental belief that "the world is dangerous.", which caused anxiety associated with hyper-vigilance (significant childhood trauma). Rose responded remarkably well to the reprocessing. Each session concluded with her SUD （Subjective Units of Disturbance）scores dropping to 0, and she reported tangible improvements in her daily life: her sleep quality increased, the nightmares reduced, and she experienced moments of unexpected joy.  "I just felt this pure joy in my heart,"  she shared during one session,  "something I hadn't felt in years."  During this time, after a decade of being single, Rose entered a new relationship. Witnessing these changes filled me with that particular satisfaction unique to our profession. A Therapeutic Impasse "I feel on the edge of big shifts,"  she told me. While we celebrated our therapy progress, yet, one persistent challenge remained, a source of deep frustration for both Rose and I. Now we arrived at the third and last stage of our journey - the moment to revisit what I'd noted in Session 8 but set aside. (As a therapist who values structure, I often park issues that don't directly relate to our current focus.) Back then, Rose had mentioned: "When I try to do one thing, my mind does the opposite." Being exceptionally committed to her therapeutic work, Rose diligently practiced the mindful exercises I assigned – guided imagery to be precise, which we worked on both in sessions and as homework. Yet despite her efforts, she kept encountering the same obstacles when doing visualization:  "You (your guidance) are far ahead, and I am still trying to get up,"  she'd report,  "my ankles tangled in vines,"  or  "I keep tripping on the path."  Her frustration grew with each failed attempt, mirroring my own professional puzzlement. What made this especially perplexing was that Rose could visualize easily when self-directed; it was only during guided imagery that she struggled. Even across different EMDR reprocessing themes, her visualizations consistently followed a similar arc: beginning with darkness and ending with light. Connecting these dots proved challenging. We'd uncovered something profound yet elusive.  Therapy , I reminded myself, isn't about having immediate answers -  it's a process of carefully testing hypotheses, session by session, like navigating a maze where the treasure is deeper understanding . Both exhilarating and daunting. Using Parts: IFS at Work Having tried almost everything else I had, I decided to give ‘parts work’ (I sometimes use this term to refer to IFS, as many other practitioners do) a whirl, applying it to our guided imagery experience, which Rose struggles with, and just see how that would go. The next few sessions, we took a very focused approach, a process with guided imagery work together as center piece, while I blend that with IFS’s parts approach. Stairs and the Second Room "Close your eyes. I’ll count from 10 to 1 to guide you walking down a stair case of 10 steps."  I guided. "1, and you reach the bottom and you are in a room." I borrowed the classic guided imagery exercises from hypnosis. I flavored it with a door that opens up to another room. "You’ll see there’s a door in this room. Go over there, and open it. What do you see?" In three sessions, we kept using the same guided imagery. Rose's descent was anything but smooth. Her feet caught on invisible obstacles, her balance wavered as if the stairs themselves resisted her. Something nasty was at play. It was so easy to assume that part as a "messer," a "meddler." When she finally reached the room—it was  dark . The door within that room opened only to reveal more  darkness .  This darkness was so consistent in all the visualization work we do. "No matter how earnestly you try to follow instructions, there's a part of you that consistently pushes back with equal force,"  I commented. Rose sat with this observation for a while, then remembered her childhood home—a place where every truth came in competing versions.  "Grandma said one thing, Mom said another. I never learned how to tell which was right."  Her voice carried the lingering confusion of that little girl who'd been given contradictory compasses.  "So what you are saying is that you’ve been trying to meet an expectation which you don’t even know what that is. " I paraphrased and summarized what Rose said, a malfunctioning intermediate belief (yes, a CBT term. Learn more:  Xiaojie on Cognitive Behavior Therapy: A Therapist's Honest Take ). In this session, it revealed that young Rose had learned to police her own innocent thoughts ( "Jesus has a penis" —immediately followed by  "That's wrong to think that!" ), to avoid  ‘hell's punishment’  (growing up with a grandma that’s ‘deeply religious’) for mental slips she couldn't control.  "I'm supposed to..." was resisted. I thought to myself: What if the element that prevents her from following the guidance—this "I am supposed to"—isn't a villain, but a part of her that's crying to be seen, that requires freedom from the 'rules'? In our next session, we returned to the  Stairs and the Second Room  imagery—this time I blended it with a parts work approach. As Rose began the visualization, I guided her to identify the distinct aspects of herself at play: First emerged the  Trying Part —the diligent follower executing each instruction precisely, determined to "do it right." Then came the  Critic Part,  that internal judge demanding perfect compliance.  "Could this part take a break in the waiting room?"  I suggested, invoking our pre-established safe space with music and cake—an environment we'd tested in prior sessions where her  Critic Part  (thinking self) could relax. Then we turned to the vines and barriers that typically triggered Rose's frustration.  "What if,"  I offered gently,  "you stop and take a look at them with compassion and curiosity." The  Protector Part  revealed itself as Rose described a sensation like cement blocks—heavy, immovable. “What does this block say?”  I asked. "Stop!"  Rose replied. "I don't know why, but I feel so sad,"  she said with trembling voice, and cried. Never in our session, Rose showed any strong emotions previously. "What does this part look like, and what does it need?"  I asked. The image clarified: "Young... It just wants to be held."  Rose replied. “Does your body feel any special sensations?”  I asked. “My chest and core area are tingling”.  Rose said. The cement wasn't an obstacle; it was a frozen child, armored in stone. I took a long pause, giving them some time. Two weeks later, in what would become our final session together, we revisited the  Stairs and the Second Room  exercises once more. This time, Rose descended with newfound ease. Along the way, she encountered that young part again—the one we'd uncovered weeks before—and without hesitation, she gathered it into her arms with tender care. When the moment came to open the door, her voice lifted with quiet wonder:  " It's bright now.  There are birds... and trees." There it was—the shift on the edge had turned. I smiled, and so did Rose Disclaimer:   I wrote this article in English. I used Deepseek to translate my writing from English to Chinese as a draft, which I use to finalize the Chinese version of my article. I worked with Deepseek for one purpose of editorial role: to refine this article - improving grammar, clarifying ideas, and smoothing the flow - while carefully preserving my personal voice, therapeutic perspective, and original intent. All therapeutic insights and opinions remain my own.  心理咨询师治疗师:  秦小杰 2025年8月北京 从黑暗到光明：一位来访者的意象转变｜内在家庭系统疗法（2） (经来访者授权分享) 关于蕊芬（化名） 2023年12月，年近五十的蕊芬经人推荐找到我。她是我所说的 "高领悟力来访者" ——在北京居住多年建立了稳定生活的外国人，她一直持续进行深度自我成长。讲她推向咨询室的导火索，是她一段维系数十年的支柱性友谊的破裂。 "我之前做过躯体疗法，效果很好。"  首次会谈时她这样说道，言语间透着清醒的自我觉察。蕊芬具备心理学基础知识，能清晰表述主诉问题与关键童年经历，此前的心理咨询也显然令她获益。 我们共同工作了九个月。这段日子里，她总是准时赴约，深度投入每一次会谈，兼具温和与坚韧的特质——这种黄金组合往往是疗愈进展的预示。她的资源丰富性不仅令人印象深刻，更成为我们工作的基石。 让我惊喜的咨询进展 我们的咨询工作进展迅速。最初我们处理的是促使她前来咨询的那段重要友谊破裂带来的哀伤。随着咨询推进，我们通过眼动脱敏与再加工治疗（EMDR）聚焦于她长期存在的焦虑问题，主要针对两个核心主题： 一是"我必须负责"——这个主题的改善显著提升了她的边界设定能力，恐惧感明显减轻； 二是"我身处危险"——她童年遭受过严重创伤，所以她的潜意识里会有"世界很危险"的基本信念，这种信念导致她长期处于过度警觉的焦虑状态。 蕊芬对咨询的反应令人欣喜。每次眼动身心重建疗法（EMDR）会谈结束后，她的主观困扰程度（SUD）评分都降至0分，日常生活中也出现了切实改善：睡眠质量提高、噩梦减少，甚至开始体验到久违的快乐时刻。 "我感受到一种纯粹的喜悦从心底涌出，" 她在某次会谈中分享， "我已经很多年没有这种感觉了。" 在此期间，单身十年的蕊芬也开始了一段新恋情。作为咨询师，见证这些转变带来的满足感，是这个职业独有的馈赠。 咨询中的瓶颈 "我能感受到，我生命即将会有一个重大转。" 她这样告诉我。虽然我们为咨询进展欢欣鼓舞，但一个顽固的困境始终存在，成为蕊芬和我共同深感挫败的根源。 此刻，我们来到了咨询旅程的第三阶段，也是最终章——是时候重新审视我在第八次咨询中记录却暂未处理的问题了。（作为注重咨询过程结构的咨询师，我常将那些与当下焦点不直接相关的议题暂时搁置。）当时蕊芬曾说： "每当我想做某件事时，我的思维总背道而驰。" 对咨询极其投入的蕊芬，始终认真完成我布置的冥想练习——具体而言是引导性意象训练，我们在咨询中演练，她也坚持作为家庭作业。然而尽管竭尽全力，相同的阻碍总反复出现： "您（的引导）已经走得很远，而我还在原地挣扎，" 她会这样描述， "脚踝被藤蔓缠绕" ，或是 "在小径上反复跌倒" 。每次受挫都加剧着她的沮丧，也折射出我作为咨询师的困惑。最令人费解的是，蕊芬在自主意象中表现自如，唯独在引导意象时举步维艰。即便在不同主题的EMDR再加工过程中，她的意象也始终遵循相似轨迹： 始于黑暗 ，终于光明。 串联这些线索并非易事。我们触碰到某些深邃却难以把握的东西。已经快没耐心的我，提醒自己，咨询本就不是提供即时答案——它是在迷宫中谨慎验证假设的过程，而宝藏正是更深层的理解。这令人既振奋，又敬畏。 运用部分工作：IFS的实践 (经来访者授权分享) 在尝试了几乎所有方法后，我决定试试"部分工作"（我有时会用这个说法来指代IFS，就像许多其他临床工作者那样），将其应用到蕊芬一直很挣扎的引导性意象体验中，看看效果如何。接下来几次咨询，我们采取了非常聚焦的方式，以引导性意象工作为核心过程，同时融入IFS的部分工作方法。 下台阶和门 "闭上眼睛。我会从10倒数到1，引导你走下10级台阶，" 我引导到。 "数到1时，你就到达底部，进入一个房间。" 我借用了催眠中的经典引导性意象练习，并加入了自己的调整： 增加一扇通往另一个房间的门。 "你会看到这个房间里有扇门。走过去，打开它。你看到了什么？" 在三次咨询中，我们持续使用同样的引导性意象。蕊芬的"下行"过程一点也不顺利。她的脚会被看不见的障碍绊住，身体摇晃仿佛楼梯本身在抗拒她。显然有什么东西在作祟。很容易就会把这个部分假设为 "捣乱者"、"干扰者" 。当她终于到达房间时——里面一片漆黑。房间里的那扇门打开后，露出的仍是 黑暗。 "无论你多么认真地尝试遵循指示，总有一个部分在以同样的力度抗拒。" 我评论道。 蕊芬沉思了一会儿，然后想起了童年的家——一个每个真相都存在竞争版本的地方。 "外婆说一套，妈妈说的又是另一套。我从来不知道哪个是对的。" 她的声音里带着那个被给予矛盾指南针的小女孩残留的困惑。 "所以你是说，你一直在试图满足一个连你自己都不清楚是什么的期望？" 我转述并总结了蕊芬的话，这是一个功能失调的中间信念（是的，一个CBT术语。了解更多，查看小杰撰写的： 认知行为疗法：心理咨询师坦白局 ）。这次咨询揭示出，年幼的蕊芬学会了审查自己天真的想法（ "耶稣有小JJ" ——立刻跟着 "这么想是错的！" ），为她无法控制的思想"失误"，为逃避"地狱的惩罚"（成长于一个有着"极度虔诚"外婆的环境）。 "我应该......" 遭到了抵抗。我暗自思考：如果阻碍她跟随指引的这个元素——这个"我应该"——不是恶棍，而是一个渴望被看见、需要从'规则'中解脱的部分呢？ 在下一次咨询中，我们重新回到 下台阶和门 意象——这次我将其与部分工作方法相结合。当蕊芬开始意象时，我引导她识别正在运作的不同自我部分： 首先出现的是" 尝试部分 "——那个一丝不苟执行每个指令、决心"做对"的勤勉追随者。然后是" 批评部分 "，那个要求完美服从的内在评判者。"这个部分可以去等候室休息吗？"我建议道，调用我们预先建立的、有音乐和蛋糕的安全空间——这个环境我们在之前的咨询中测试过，她的" 批评部分 "（思考自我）可以在那里放松。 接着我们转向通常会触发蕊芬挫败感的藤蔓和障碍物。 "如果，" 我温和地提议， "你停下来，带着慈悲和好奇看看它们呢？" "保护部分" 显现出来，蕊芬描述它像水泥块一样——沉重、不可撼动。 “这块水泥在说什么？” 我问到。 "停下！" 她说。 "我不知道为什么，但我现在觉得非常悲伤，" 这句话，她声音颤抖，伴随着一下决堤式的哭声。在我们的咨询中，蕊芬从未展现过如此强烈的情绪。 "这个部分看起来什么样？它需要什么？" 我问。 意象变得清晰： "它很小...它只想被抱住，" 蕊芬回答。 "你的身体有什么特殊感觉吗？"  我接着问道。 "我的胸口和腹部有一阵阵酥麻的电流感。" 那些水泥不是障碍；它们是一个披着石头盔甲的冰冻孩童。我停顿了很长时间，给她们一些空间。 两周后，也是我们最后一次咨询中，我们再次进行了 下台阶和门 意象练习。这一次，蕊芬的下行过程变得异常轻松。途中，她再次遇见了那个年幼的部分——我们几周前发现的那个——毫不犹豫地，她温柔地将它搂入怀中。 当我引导她第三次来到头脑里的这扇门口，她推开了门，声音带着安静的惊叹：" 现在很明亮 ...有鸟儿...还有树。" 就在那里——转折终于发生了。我微笑起来，蕊芬也是。 特别声明： 1.我用英文写作该文章，然后由Deepseek完成英文至中文的翻译。 2.这篇文章在撰写过程中，使用了Deepseek，仅限于编辑润色：对文章进行语法优化、观点澄清及行文流畅性调整，但严格保留我的个人风格、专业理念与核心观点。所有心理咨询见解与立场均出自本人

July 2025,  Xiaojie Qin , director of CandleX, was invited by a diplomatic organization in Chongqing to lead a bilingual (Chinese and English) mental health workshop for employees after organizational restructuring. The group—primarily Chinese professionals—required a culturally attuned approach. Instead of deep emotional processing, the focus was on  gentle awareness, emotional literacy, and collective forward movement . A Framework for Subtle yet Impactful Growth Drawing from Xiaojie’s experiences in improv comedy and therapeutic frameworks like  Social-Emotional Learning (SEL)  and  Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) , we designed exercises that: Normalized emotions  without pressure to "open up" (e.g., "emotional literacy games both in Chinese and in English for both language groups"). Built trust gradually  through light, reflective activities (e.g., resourcing exercises that guide the group to answer the questions listed at the beginning of the workshop). Focused on team cohesion , using improv games such as mirror games, and ball games like "reflection on collaboration, and personal role at a workplace" to frame resilience as a shared effort. Our Approach: Safety in structure:  Reserved groups often engage more when given clear, low-pressure prompts. Small steps toward awareness:  It’s common that Chinese employees had never discussed emotions at work—simply naming feelings (e.g., "stress," "uncertainty") was progress. Forward momentum:  We prioritized practical tools (e.g., grounding techniques, reframing thoughts) over revisiting the restricting itself. Key Insight for Organizations In cross-cultural or reserved settings, meeting people where they are is transformative. This workshop proved that even modest shifts—like acknowledging emotions or aligning on team strengths—can lay the groundwork for post-restructuring repair and growth.

Author 作者: Xiaojie Qin 秦小杰  2025/08 Beijing Intro: The First Chord – When All My Parts Were Acknowledged Wow, this song came out in 2006. It’s been two decades since I first fell in love with India Arie’s  The Wings of Forgiveness . I had found that the art of simplicity. Simply means making peace with your complexity As a young adult first dipping my toes into life’s deeper waters, these lyrics struck a chord. I couldn’t quite articulate why they resonated—only that they mirrored a truth I sensed but hadn’t named: that we’re never just ‘good’ or ‘bad,’ like the pass/fail simplicity of school grades. Hmm… complicated. We’re woven from layers, contradictions—what I’d later come to know as parts. And unlike school’s harsh judgments, these parts don’t need to be banished. We can learn to sit with them, even the messy ones. This idea of complexity acknowledges every facet of life and ourselves. It’s what I’ve spent my adult life learning to embrace and coordinate, rather than reject with fear or hatred. As a therapist expanding my toolbox, I stumbled upon Internal Family Systems (IFS). That same chord resonated again—that familiar feeling of gentle, tolerant embrace. I dove into learning and practicing it without hesitation. I know this ‘love at first sight’ well, whether with  swing dance ,  Brazilian jiujitsu , or now, IFS. Let me try to explain it simply: IFS Therapy was developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz in the 1980s. IFS views a person as a system of parts—each with distinct roles and desires, yet all ultimately serving the person’s best interest. In mentally healthy individuals, these parts collaborate harmoniously. But trauma can leave parts wounded or burdened, causing dysfunction: parts may fight each other, overcompensate, or shut down. This internal conflict can manifest as emotional struggles, physical symptoms, or even mental health conditions as extreme as dissociative identity disorder. 前奏：第一个和弦——当所有"部分"被看见时 天，这首歌居然是2006年发行的。曾几何时，我很喜欢听India Arie的歌曲，很多并不是情歌，而是对生活的反思和描述，我一直非常爱的《 The Wings of Forgiveness (宽恕之翼)》 这首歌，居然已经离发行日期过去近二十年了。 I had found that the art of simplicity 我发现简单的艺术 Simply means making peace with your complexity 就是与你的复杂和解 当年刚接触这首歌的我，还是个黄毛丫头 （当然好像确实也染了褐色的头发，太巧了），这句歌词像拨动了我某根心弦。说不上为什么被打动，只觉得它映照了我说不清的直觉：学校去评价我们是用及格与否的二元思维来衡量我们，但也许我们每个人都有不同的维度组成，很湿复杂。我们由层层不同的特点组成，有时还会相互矛盾——后来我尝试着用'部分'这个次去拆解难以表达的自我。和学校的粗暴评判不同，也和家长希望的改造不同，部分无需被驱逐，每一个不‘部分’都必不可少，而我们可以学着让它们共处，哪怕是那些乱糟糟的部分。 这种对复杂的认知，成了我成年后一直在学习的课题：不是用恐惧或厌恶去拒绝，而是接纳并协调生命的每个棱面。 当我作为心理咨询师拓展技能时，我接触了很多不同的咨询流派。而当我去认识'内在家庭系统疗法'(IFS)时，当我听到‘ 部分 ’这个概念，那根心弦再次被拨动——那种熟悉的、温柔包容的共鸣感。我毫不犹豫地投身学习和实践。这种'一见钟情'我很熟悉，二十几岁时的站在舞池里第一次跳 摇摆舞 、三十几岁时在地垫上被人压的起不来的第一节 巴西柔术 课。 我简单介绍下内在家庭系统疗法'(IFS)吧：内部家庭系统疗法（IFS）由理查德·施瓦茨博士于20世纪80年代创立。IFS把一个人看作由不同'部分'组成的系统，每个部分都有独特需求和功能，本质上都在保护你。部分协作顺畅时，你的心理趋于健康；但生活中，难免有创伤，这些遭遇会让某些部分受伤或不堪重负，导致它们互相打架、过度补偿或彻底罢工。这种内战可能表现为情绪问题、身体症状，甚至解离性身份障碍这样的严重问题。 Head: Fractured Harmony – Every Voice Has a Story If life’s a song, we are all singers. We sometimes sing off-key or lose the beat— a therapist’s role is to hear each voice’s solo, and help you harmonize the chaos, until every part finds its pitch. (Fun fact—this musical metaphor became real to me thanks to my music mentor Feng dawei this year, who taught me what it truly means to be "off-key" and "in harmony." Unrelated to therapy, yet profoundly connected.) “Internal Family Systems—is this family therapy?"  The answer’s no.  Family  here means the unshakable bonds between all internal parts of an individual: the Managers, Exiles, Firefighters, and crucially, the  Self —each an indispensable member of your psyche’s household. IFS’s naming (and whole approach) is unapologetically  right-brain : poetic, ‘less scientific,’ but that’s precisely what disarms resistance with gray-area flexibility. Compare this to Cognitive Behavior Therapy (for more info, check out ‘ Xiaojie on Cognitive Behavior Therapy: A Therapist's Honest Take ’ ), which stamps clinical terms like  Cognitions  and  Behaviors  right in its name, CBT’s structured lists ( cognitive distortions! positive/negative behaviors! ) ironically mirror the  black-and-white thinking  that is famously on its  distortion list . Meanwhile, IFS whispers:  "What if all your  parts —even the ‘problem’ ones—are just trying to help?"  That right there—the attitude, or qualities (what ACT would call values)—points to IFS’s  Self : the  8Cs  and  5Ps . 主歌：破碎的和声——你的每个声音，都有来处 若人生如歌，你我皆是歌者。 我们难免走调失拍，而治疗师的工作，便是听懂每个声部的独奏， 帮你在混沌中和声，让每个声音回归自己的音准。 （说来有趣——这个音乐比喻的实现，要特别感谢我今年的音乐良师益友，才华横溢的冯大维，是他让我真正理解了什么是"走调"与"和声"。这与心理治疗无关，却奇妙地相通。） “ 内在家庭系统疗法（IFS） ——这是家庭治疗吗？”答案是否定的。这里的"家庭"指的是个体内部所有部分之间不可撼动的联结： 管理者（Managers） 、 放逐者（Exiles） 、 消防员（Firefighters） ，以及最关键的" 真我（Self） "——它们都是你心灵家园中不可或缺的成员。 IFS的命名（及其整体方法）毫不掩饰地偏向右脑思维：充满诗意、"不那么科学"，但正是这种灰色地带的灵活性消解了人们的心理防御。相比之下，认知行为疗法（CBT，参见我的另一篇文章:  认知行为治疗｜心理咨询师小杰的坦白局 ）直接把"认知"和"行为"这类临床术语嵌在名称里——颇具讽刺意味的是，它那些结构化清单（认知扭曲！积极/消极行为！）恰恰在某种程度上复刻了其经典扭曲清单中最典型的"非黑即白"思维模式。 与此同时，IFS却轻声问道：" 如果你所有的内在部分——包括那些'问题成员'——都只是想帮你呢？" 这种态度或特质（ACT疗法称之为"价值观"）恰恰指向了IFS的核心——"真我"（Self）的 八大特质（8C） 和 五大品质（5P） 。 The Next Song: My Client Rose and the Healing Process With Rose's generous permission (name changed for confidentiality), I'll share our real therapeutic journey—how IFS helped us navigate a moment of therapeutic impasse and create transformative change. When I reconnected with her to request consent, I learned something beautiful: A full year after our sessions ended, Rose continues working with  parts  on her own through reading, discovering new layers of healing and growth. 下一首歌：我的来访者蕊芬 蕊芬（化名）于2023年底开始与我进行心理咨询。衷心感谢她允许我分享我们咨询过程中的关键片段——当我们的工作遇到瓶颈时，正是IFS的"部分"（Parts）理念和技术帮助我们突破了困境。最近因文稿需要与她联系确认时，我很欣喜地得知：她现在生活得很好，并且一直在自主研读"部分"心理学相关书籍，这些知识至今仍在滋养着她的成长。 Disclaimer:   I wrote this article in English. I used Deepseek to translate my writing from English to Chinese as a draft, which I use to finalize the Chinese version of my article. I worked with Deepseek for one purpose of editorial role: to refine this article - improving grammar, clarifying ideas, and smoothing the flow - while carefully preserving my personal voice, therapeutic perspective, and original intent. All therapeutic insights and opinions remain my own.  特别声明： 1. 我用英文写作该文章，然后由Deepseek完成英文至中文的文本初步翻译，我在此基础上完成中文编辑写作。 2. 这篇文章在撰写过程中，使用了Deepseek，仅限于编辑润色：对文章进行语法优化、观点澄清及行文流畅性调整，但严格保留我的个人风格、专业理念与核心观点。所有心理咨询见解与立场均出自本人

As society continues to develop, the profession of psychotherapy has also received increasing attention in recent years. If you are planning to enter this field, you may be looking for more learning, practice, and employment opportunities. You may also be looking for insight into the career and life of a practicing psychotherapist. This insightful 90-minute Q&A based webinar will explore these topics and provide you with valuable knowledge regarding different graduate programs, as well as advantages and disadvantages of pursuing this path.  You will come away with a clearer understanding of whether a degree in the field of psychology aligns with your strengths, personality, and desired lifestyle. This webinar will be organized by Ms. Qin Xiaojie , the director of CandleX and a registered counselor/psychotherapist in China and Australia. Cost: 150RMB (no refund) Event time:  Periodically, please add Summer for inquires via the QR code below Online: Tencent Meeting Language: English or Chinese (depending on the language of the participants) Content: 10 minute presentation+80 minute Q&A 随着社会不断发展，心理咨询师这个职业在近几年也越来越受到关注。如果你正计划着进入这个领域，如果你想了解更多的学习、实践和就业机会，以及做为一名心理咨询从业人员的真实职业和生活状态，我们的在线分享活动将为你答疑解惑。 这次分享活动会由CandleX始然心理的创始人和总监，中国三级心理咨询师、心理治疗师秦小杰女士，来分享和回答大家的问题。 费用：150元(无退款) 活动时间： 不定期举行，请添加协调员summer询问 活动地点：腾讯在线会议 活动内容：10分钟演讲+80分钟问答 语言：中文或者英文（根据报名情况确定） 活动流程：分享会参与者，请提前准备问题，以确保大家得到自己需要的相关信息。 报名：请添加Summer的微信 This webinar will cover the following key areas: Graduate Degree Psychotherapy is a branch of psychology- how to decide whether to pursue a major in psychotherapy or another kind of psychology degree How to apply for master's degree in psychology with a bachelor's degree other than psychology How to optimize your resume to apply for a psychology major Studying Abroad The differences in psychotherapy degrees in various countries (UK, USA, Australia) The impact of having a degree on future employment in China and foreign countries Employment At present, the counseling/psychotherapy market in China lacks standardization; guidance for how to maintain ethical career development The skills, background, and experience required by employers; understanding the current market Career and Personal Matching Index Each profession has its unique characteristics. How to determine whether your interests, hobbies, personality traits, and expected lifestyle are suitable to be a counselor. Main points to understand when choosing this profession Note: Xiaojie has a Master's degree in counseling from Monash University in Australia. She is a registered as a psychological counselor, and a certified psychotherapist in China. For those who need to have a deep understanding of degrees and job markets in other countries, please be aware of this. 这次分享会将涉及以下几个重点方面： 学科 心理咨询是心理学的一个分支，如何考虑是读心理咨询还是读其他心理学科的专业； 针对本科学历不是心理学的硕士申请者，如何跨行申请。 如何更好的准备你的简历，让你在心理专业申请上加分。 留学 心理咨询的学位在不同的几个发达国家（英国、美国、澳大利亚）的差异; 以及学位对今后执照在中国或者外国就业的影响。 就业 目前国内心理咨询市场服务提供者鱼龙混杂、市场缺乏规范，心理咨询师的良性发展路径； 雇主所需的技能、背景和经验，以及目前市场上的工作和就业情况。 职业和个人匹配指数 每个职业都有它的特性，你的兴趣爱好、个性特征以及期待的生活工作方式是否适合做心理咨询，将心理咨询当作职业你应该了解的主要内容。 备注：主讲人的背景是澳洲的心理咨询硕士学位，中国三级心理咨询师和心理治疗师，对于需要深度了解其他国家的学位和就业市场请合理期待。 This webinar will provide enthusiasts with a guide towards entering the field of counseling/psychotherapy, while stimulating more competitiveness and professionalism within the industry. If you would like to learn more, please sign up to join our discussion. Ms Qin Xiaojie's introduction. Scan the QR code to follow her psychotherapy wechat account. 这次在线分享活动将为爱好者们提供一个进入这个领域的重要途径，也将为咨询行业提供更多竞争力和专业性。如果你想了解更多的信息，欢迎加入我们的讨论。 秦小杰女士的简介如下。请扫码关注秦小杰女士的心理健康视频号。 全中文秦女士小红书

(中文在文章末) Xiaojie Qin Aug 2025 "I tend to the whispers of humanity in therapy rooms, then echo them into the world." I am a psychotherapist that works in two dimensions: In the quiet , where I sit with clients one-on-one or in small groups, doing the deep, intimate work of healing;  In the public eye , where I amplify mental health awareness—translating patterns of resilience and collective strength into tools for the broader community. What defines me is the bridge I build between these spaces. The therapy room reveals universal truths about suffering and growth; my passion lies in carrying those truths outward, with sensitivity and rigor, so they resonate far beyond its walls. I am not just a therapist. I am a translator of the human experience. Ms. Xiaojie Qin is a certified counselor and psychotherapist in China, holding both the Chinese National Level 3 Psychological Counseling Certificate and National Level Psychotherapy Certificate. She holds a Master’s in Counseling from Monash University (Australia) and a Master’s in Development Evaluation from the University of Antwerp (Belgium). In the first decade of her career, she served as a program coordinator and an evaluation specialist in global development, working extensively with international NGOs. Building on this experience, she founded CandleX in 2015 - a mental health organization where she now serves as director, combining her cross-cultural expertise with psychological practice. With extensive professional experience, Ms. Qin offers individual, couples, and group therapy sessions both online and in-person. She provides therapy for clients dealing with depression and anxiety disorders, with particular experiences in supporting clients with bipolar disorder, survivors of abusive relationships, and those navigating grief and loss. Her practice also focuses on adolescent mental health, providing therapeutic and mentorship support to teenagers from international schools across China and overseas. Deeply engaged with both Beijing's international and local communities, Ms. Qin has developed CandleX's programs to fill critical gaps in mental health support. Over the past decade, she has delivered specialized trainings, seminars, and presentations for international schools, corporate clients, embassy partners, and UN organizations, contributing to national-level mental health campaigns. Beyond her therapy practice, she is well recognized for her innovative nonprofit mental health initiatives, reflecting her profound commitment to community wellbeing. A Sichuan native fluent in Chinese and English, Ms. Qin bridges western therapeutic frameworks with culturally attuned care for both Chinese locals and expats in China. Her professional insights on mental health in China have been sought by CGTN, ABC News, Reuters, The Guardian, and other major international media outlets. Visit  www.candlex.cn  for more information; for  therapy  inquires: xiaojie.qin@candlex.cn 秦小杰 2025年8月 "我在咨询室里聆听人性的低语，再将它们回响于天地之间。" 我是一位既做心理咨询又做大众科普的"两栖"心理健康工作者。每天在咨询室里听到的一个个真实故事，让我深深理解人性的脆弱与坚韧，每一个来访都让我为之感动和震撼；这份感受，推着我走向公众，在这个容易让人感到孤独的时代，我希望把咨询室里看到的人性微光，用专业科普见解和最人性的故事，转化成温暖和激励更多人的力量。 秦小杰女士 是资深心理咨询师与心理治疗师，持有国家三级心理咨询师资格证书及国家级心理治疗师认证。她拥有澳大利亚莫纳什大学心理咨询硕士学位及比利时安特卫普大学发展评估硕士学位。职业生涯初期，她曾担任国际非政府组织项目协调与评估专家，在全球发展领域深耕十余年。2015年，她融合跨文化经验创立心理健康机构CandleX并担任总监，开创性地将国际视野与心理健康实践相结合。 凭借丰富的专业经验，秦小杰女士提供线上线下的个体咨询、伴侣咨询及团体心理咨询服务。除接待常见的有抑郁与焦虑症状的来访外，她特别擅长给予双相情感障碍干预、亲密关系暴力创伤康复以及哀伤丧失心理辅导。秦小杰女士同时服务于青少年心理健康，为在京以及海外青少年留学生提供心理咨询，并通过CandleX青少年项目提供更全面的心理健康支持。 作为北京国际社区与本土社会的积极建设者，她开启以及不断调整的CandleX项目有效填补了心理健康服务缺口。过去十年间，她为国际学校、跨国企业、驻华使馆及联合国机构开展专业培训，并参与国家级心理健康倡议项目。秦小杰女士深耕于在华国际社区，心系社区心理健康，机构十年如一日的提供了优质的心理健康服务，其中包括大量的非盈利服务。 秦小杰女士出生成长于四川，作为精通中英双语的心理健康行业专业人士，她巧妙融合西方治疗体系与文化适配性关怀，服务本土与国际来访者。因关于中国心理健康议题的专业见解，她受邀接受包括中国国际电视台（CGTN）、澳大利亚广播公司（ABC）、路透社（Reuters）及《卫报》（The Guardian）等国际权威媒体的采访。 更多详情请访问： www.candlex.cn ;  秦小杰女士小红书：小杰Psych咨询;  心理咨询预约邮箱：xiaojie.qin@candlex.cn