Small and intimate gathering For the taboo of suicide On the 10th of September – the World Suicide Prevention Day – Xiaojie Qin, the founder of CandleX, took part in a Beijing Community Dinners’ event. The discussion was on the pressing topic of suicide in China. Both Beijing community members and journalists from Global Times, CNN, and Xinhua news joined the small gathering over a shared meal. The intention of this dinner and discussion was to shed more light on the often unspoken matter of suicide. Xiaojie talked mainly about the prevalence of suicide and ways to spot the warning signs. It is of utter importance to be cautious of these signs and be able to help oneself and others during hard times. Other participants joined in the discussion sharing their thoughts and experiences. Claudine Housen from Global Times followed up the discussion by interviewing Xiaojie and several other community members for their publication on suicide prevention. The article was mainly written for the purpose of both helping the individuals and allowing the community to not be afraid to speak about suicide. You can read the article here. CandleX’s Resources Are you or a friend in a Crisis? Crisis Support Your questions on mental health | CandleX Classroom https://www.candlex.cn/classroom Depression stories from our community members (both adults and teens) CandleX Column | Community Writing https://www.candlex.cn/community-writing Pretreatment CandleX Wechat Groups all ages, add our admin: niama_elazzab for 15-22 year old, add our admin: amaraprenderyya Peer Support Group biweekly meetings and biweekly hangout

In recent months, the Beijing community has been showing a growing interest in the topic of depression. This month, we were invited by JingKids to offer a gender perspective to it. Upon invitation to attend their monthly salon, we are honored to have Enoch (pen name: Noch Noch) represent the organization and share her experience as a mother and a female executive who has suffered from depression. The talk took place at Sanfine Hospital on the morning of 13 October. It was a cozy set up with about 20 participants. Enoch started off by explaining the work that CandleX does in the Beijing community. She outlined our aspiration to raise awareness about bipolar and depression and gave a summary of some of our recent events. Enoch then shared her personal journey in Chinese. The participants took a moment to introduce themselves and their motivation for attending the talk. They either had similar experiences, or simply wanted to know more about depression. Some had friends or family who exhibited depressive symptoms, while others wanted to know how to help those in need. Enoch explained what it was like for her during her depression – as if hit by an avalanche and stuck under 50 feet of snow. She talked about how clinical depression, is defined by the World Health Organization, and how she, through a mélange of medication, therapy, writing, self-discovery, and projection of herself onto inanimate objects (stuffed toy bears in her case), came to learn more about herself, rediscover her creativity, and play her way out of depression. She shared about her work with Bearapy, and the goals she has for helping corporations take care of employees’ mental health, and also her personal mission in life to raise awareness about depression. This is one reason why she is involved in CandleX and helps with any events she can. Enoch also talked about how CandleX came about into being, and the founder, XiaoJie’s, experience and the work she does for the community. The talk ended with some participants sharing their stories and asking questions about how best to take care of themselves. Jing Kids’ owner, Toni Ma, shared her personal journey and also that she had been reading Enoch’s blog for years, and was thus very excited they had finally met! It was an open, authentic, and heartfelt event. Enoch was touched by others’ struggles, and again, affirmed the need for support groups and organizations, such as CandleX, to help make this world to a better place. #Beijing #depression #bipolar #mentalhealth

In recent months, we’ve seen a growing effort, from various communities, to address depression in Beijing. One of them is French Lab, an NGO that hosted a panel discussion about mental health. Candlex was honored to be invited to join the panel along with other inspiring community leaders. On 16th Aug 2016, The French Lab hosted an excellent panel discussion as part of their Be Inspired series. The panel was entitled: How to Stay Positive in Challenging Times. This discussion focused on Well-Being in business, and as a business, and allowed three important female entrepreneurs to share their ideas and advice with a captive audience. This event was graciously hosted at the recently opened Day Day Up, which is a beautiful shared office space in the heart of Sanlitun SoHo The panelists for the evening included: CandleX’s founder, Xiaojie Qin; Beijing’s premier Tribal Belly Dance instructor, Inko di O, and Dalida Turkovic, founder of the Beijing Mindfulness Center. Helena, from The French Lab, was the moderator. Instead of talking about successes in entrepreneurship, the centering topic was on challenges that each of these speakers encountered in life, and how they handled them. French Lab published an article illustrating the common mental disorders entrepreneurs face, which are anxiety and depression. Surprisingly the ratio among entrepreneurs is higher than the general public. That leads to the interesting topic: how can you take the role of leading when mental health is a prominent issue? Xiaojie spoke first, and explained CandleX’s important mission of providing support to those in the international community affected by anxiety, bi-polar disorder, and depression. She also told the group some her own story, including how she came to found CandleX to raise awareness about depression and increase psychosocial support. Since its founding, a little over a year ago, CandleX has been able to provide many people in the international community with information about mental illness, thus helping to remove stigma. CandleX offers regular workshops, support groups, and seminars on coping with and surviving mental illness. Inko took the floor next to discuss how her passion for authentic movement brought her from a seemingly perfect life in Paris, to a slightly less stable, but more meaningful life, as an entrepreneur in Beijing. She shared a documentary clip with the group that showcased her beautiful and soulful dancing, and also her very clear ability to create a community surrounding her art. She discussed some of the challenges of entrepreneurships, but also the reasons she feels the benefits are so worth the struggles that she couldn’t image another way of life. The last panelist to speak was Dalida. She spoke of her entrepreneurial journey, and the bravery it took to start her own business. She realized that, as Xiaojie and Inko had both made clear, there was a real need for more Mindful thought and connection in the often-stressed expat community. Dalida shared some mindfulness techniques with the group, and went on to practice a mindful breathing exercise with everyone. When all three women had shared their journeys, the floor was opened for questions and discussions. The French Lab’s moderator asked some very through provoking questions, allowing the attendees to really see inside the entrepreneurial process, as well as offering insights on how to keep well being as a priority throughout. As the questions wrapped up, the guests were then invited to mingle with the panelists while enjoying the catering from the sponsors. Over all, it was a very informative evening, and good exposure to the idea of mindfulness in business. #depression #mentalhealth #Beijing #China

The provision of mental health care for expats in China is not adequate. In the capital alone, there are over 200,000 (Xinhua Net, 2012) expats. Many are facing the constraints of a limited number of qualified, English speaking psychologists in Beijing. Mental illness in China is heavily stigmatized, and people’s ignorance of depression prevents the majority of Chinese nationals from seeking help. One of the great fears for those living with mental illness is that in revealing their struggles to others, even close family and friends, it will result in incomprehension at best and severe judgment and social derision at worst. To open up to someone near to you and then be judged as weak, melodramatic, crazy or even worse is certainly a terrifying proposition. But what is so easily forgotten is that discovering the compassion of others is how we truly know friendship, and how we discover who our true family are, both in blood and heart. This fear may also hold us back from an even more amazing experience: the opportunity to show compassion to others. Welcome back to CandleX Classroom! In this session, we’ll discuss the important topic of self-care by answering some frequently asked questions: “Should I tell others that I have depression?”, “And if so, who, when, what and how?” These are common questions people ask themselves during periods of depression. They know they need help but may have concerns about asking for it. Some common concerns people have are as follows: Will my friends think I am weak? Am I going to lose my job if tell them? But if I don’t, I am not really performing anyway… Is this going to make my parents or partner worry about me? This is our advice; if you have depression, please do tell others. It’s the first step in seeking help. Be aware that not everyone will understand, or know how to respond to that. But some will, and they’ll be your life pillars through the episodes. Level of Depression is the Primary Factor for Consideration There are different levels of depression: mild, moderate and major depression (for more details on the symptoms, please refer to Lesson 2. Regardless of what level you are at, the purpose of telling others should always be helping yourself. Everyone has a different personality, environment and coping mechanisms. And so there isn’t a general yes or no in terms of deciding whether to tell, whom to tell, what to tell and how to tell. Those questions need to be answered by you. You can do it in whichever way feels the most suitable for you. The main question to ask yourself is. “Will the help me to cope with my depression better?” This is the primary principle and is more important that concerns over saving face. ACTION: Yep, it’s now time to write this question on a sticker and put it on the bedroom wall! Here are some general guidelines. Remember that you can accept or reject or adapt these guidelines to whatever is easiest for you. For mild-moderate depression: telling others is not as important as following the doctor’s advice: good night sleep, exercise, nutrition, and mental health counseling, etc. If you can manage to get these done, you are on the way to recovering on your own. Telling is only very much needed if you think you need external supervision/support to get you on a healing track. Focus your energy on getting things on track in life, instead of being stuck with the dilemma of telling or not. For severe depression: you have to tell others! One symptom of unavoidable symptom is repetitive suicidal thoughts, this is life-threatening. On top of that, severe depression comes with severe cognitive impairment. It has a substantial negative impact on your social life, intimate relationships, work performance and even daily routine functions like getting out of bed or taking a shower. By that, we mean, you need external help to get you through it because you’ve lost the basic functions temporally. There shouldn’t be any shame in this. Just like any other organ in our body, our brain does get sick, it’s just invisible and less understood by our society. (Go to CandleX Classroom Depression Essentials Series: Lesson 3 Causes of Depression to understand why it happens). So when we are sick, we tell people that need to know so your boss will allow you to take sick leave, and your loved ones will bring your chicken soup, for the soul. Marco, CandleX’s Representative, shared his story of opening up in the hopes of encouraging you to take this step too. 3 years ago, having suffered a severe breakdown, I responded by opening up to my family and friends, of whom there were many, purely as a matter of survival. If those around me were not aware of what was happening to me during a severe episode, they would have no way to help, and if they weren’t there to help, I might not make it the next time. The effects were lasting. I quite quickly had a support group that I could rely on as my faith in them had not been misplaced. What’s more, my openness led others to reveal to me that they had similar struggles that they had always been too afraid to share, and it was my honesty and lack of humiliation that allowed them to speak up as well. They knew that I had some sense of what they were going through; I would not be one to judge. And I began to see myself as one among a group of people that formed a special sort of club, one in which we shared a language of adversity that only we could truly understand, but to which those who were willing could also listen to. In receiving empathy and compassion I found courage, and in giving it, I found meaning. For it is in the light that we can enjoy the company of others, but only in the darkness that we find true friendship. For Marco’s full story, you can find it in CandleX column: Marco’s Story with Depression. Do not forget, our peer support group for people with depression in Beijing is a safe and confidential space for you to start the conversation. Take baby steps. We are here to hold your hand.

Do you know how CandleX started? Most people started to help other people with mental health issues because they have been there themselves. We are no exception. We are very honored to be invited by Shangshan Foundation to join this month’s Salon of “Depression Story”. Xiaojie, Founder of CandleX will be sharing her personal story; Zhao Xiangyang, a professor at Beijing Normal University will talk about their documentary on depression “One Man Battle”, which presents his own story and reflection on depression. We are happy to have the opportunity to make connections with local Chinese mental health advocates, and we’d like you to join us as well. Time: 19:00-21:00 25th Monday July 2016 Location: Yuan’en Space (Jiaodaokou area) Note:the event is a local event in Chinese. Here is the introduction of this event http://mp.weixin.qq.com/s?__biz=MzI2OTAyMjE2NQ==&mid=2650552347&idx=2&sn=3775f653f95725f32c82c2ff536c1478#rd For Registration: http://lxi.me/whdj0 CandleX’s Resources Are you or a friend in a Crisis? Crisis Support Your questions on mental health | CandleX Classroom https://www.candlex.cn/classroom Depression stories from our community members (both adults and teens) CandleX Column | Community Writing https://www.candlex.cn/community-writing Pretreatment CandleX Wechat Groups all ages, add our admin: niama_elazzab for 15-22 year old, add our admin:  amaraprenderyya Peer Support Group biweekly meetings and biweekly hangout

On April 26th, 2016 CandleX held a workshop on depression for the British Council staff. The workshop was conducted by Melena, a certified counsellor, and Xiaojie, CandleX founder. The presentation included a 60 minute multi-media and interactive workshop followed by a Q&A session. The goal of the workshop was to inform people about depression, and to promote self care and care for colleagues, friends and family members who may be experiencing depression. We covered key components of depression symptoms, the prevalence of depression, and also spoke about how to help both ourselves and others. Depression is a serious issue, but we don’t have to treat talking about it as if it is something shameful and hopeless. CandleX’s workshops all take an easy to digest approach and make use of role-play, multi-media, group work and self-reflection exercises. Afterwards, we were very happy to receive positive feedback from the staff and to learn that the posters we handed out to them were already stuck up on their office walls. 350 million people in the world suffer from depression. This means you probably know someone who is currently suffering or has suffered in the past. You may not know who this person is. It could be your friend, colleague, or even a family member. We want to tell those that have depression that there is help in Beijing and to inform those who don’t have depression, how they can help. If you think your work place or school could benefit from a workshop such as this one, email us at info@candlex.org . When we start to talk about depression we start to heal. #workshop #mentalhealth #depression #China

CandleX has been hoping to establish a mental health support group ever since the beginning of our project. We want to provide a space where people who are going through a difficult time can meet to offer and receive support. It isn’t easy to set up this kind of group. We don’t have a sufficient budget for such activities and it is a constant struggle to pay for the required media publicity to enable those in need to find out about our group. We need a private space in a good location that can provide a comfortable and soothing setting – we also need this space to be freely available for us to use. We were also worried as to whether or not the people who sign up to attend would actually come – and if they did would they be comfortable enough to share their deepest feeling in order to receive support or would they feel as though they had to keep their thoughts hidden? We were also worried that that the attendees would not get on with each other. Friends of CandleX kept on prompting us to start this group and helped us to spread the word that we were looking for a space. We were generously offered the ideal space to use at no cost and so we decided to be brave, and mustered up the courage to face our fears, and held our first peer support group on 27th October 2017. People came without knowing what to expect and we are so grateful to these attendees for taking the chance to meet with us. Attendees reported after that they felt warm and supported and would like to continue to meet in the future. And so it was that our fears of organizing this group were proven wrong and thankfully relieved. This session officially marked the beginning of a English language peer support group in our own Beijing community. We will meet once every 2 weeks. Please email info@candlex.cn to reserve a spot. The power of connection and compassion heals. Do not suffer alone when you can heal in a group! #mentalhealth #supportgroup #Beijing #depression

On 23rd August 2015, the awesome BJfoodies community warmly hosted CandleX for their August dinner gathering. Xiaojie Qin introduced CandleX to the dinner group and presented the upcoming events all aimed at increasing the metal well being of the Beijing community. We’d like to express our appreciation to Kristen from BJFoodies for making this happen. Thank you too our CandleX friends and supporters from Moishe House for joining us for dinner. We really appreciate the community support and your support will keep this project running. #Beijingfoodies #China #mentalhealth