Meditation is a mind exercise that can help us to achieve inner peach. It helps us to bring our mind back to the present moment and spend less time feeling worried about the past or the future. On Sunday 20th March, CandleX held its second Intro to Meditation session at the C!Here space in the MOMA complex. 19 participants joined in this event, which was comprised of two sections. We began the session with a discussion about different kinds of meditation and followed on from this by following an online guided meditation led by Porchlay Seng, an experienced meditation master and peach coach from Peace Revolution, Cambodia. The discussion focused on four different types of meditations: Attention, Mindfulness, Passage and Benevolent. We discussed how to practice each type of meditation. For example, in Mindfulness meditation people think about their ‘happy place’. People were also advised to begin with trying to mediate for short stints of 5 – 10 seconds. The length of an individual session can be increased with time. The idea is not to stop thinking but to resist grasping onto the thoughts and rather allow them to simply slip away. Benevolent meditation focuses on creating a sense of love and belonging. A suggested way to achieve this is through repeating a mantra over and over again such as “I am doing enough, I have enough, I am enough,” or “May I be happy, may I be free of suffering, may I be healthy, may I be at ease.” About half of the participants were new to meditation and the other half had meditated a bit before. People discussed what parts of meditation they found difficult. When beginning a meditation practice, any starting point is good. Like all things in life it takes work and practice to improve and become comfortable with a practice. We closed the session by providing resources for those seeking to develop a mediation practice. Online Resources: Peace Revolution Offline Resources in Beijing: The Beijing Mindfulness Center Offline Resources out of Beijing: The New Life Foundation, Thailand Vipassana #meditation #beijing #mentalhealth #depression

On Sunday afternoon, March 6th 2016, CandleX hosted its first Intro to Meditation session. The event was held at the house of one of the community members and led by CandleX’s facilitator Xiaojie. Seven people participated in the event, which included a discussion of concepts and styles of meditation and a guided meditation session. We discussed the following types of meditation; Attention, Mindfulness, Passage and Benevolent. Participants were instructed to focus on whichever technique they were automatically drawn to. The idea that meditation can help calm the mind and bring it peace is not a new concept. However, most people don’t actually understand the full intent of meditation. With instruction and practice participants were able to relax and gain a better understanding of the benefits of meditation and whether or not it would be something that could help them moving forward. At the end of the session the attendees expressed their new understandings and feelings about meditation. In the recent decade, Yoga has become increasingly popular and many comparisons were made between the two. Some of the participants found it harder to relax in Yoga because of the constant movement and sometimes quite technical positions, while others thought meditation was harder because there was nothing specific that their minds could focus on. The participants left with a sense of satisfaction about their new knowledge and abilities. The session concluded with suggestions of local and online resources that those who want to continue the practice of meditation can access. The local resources include, The Beijing Mindfulness Center and daoscape.com. The online resources include: Peace Revolution and Chopra Center Meditation. #Beijing #meditation #mentalhealth #depression

CandleX hosted a “Bi-polar Disorder Reality Check” at the Peking University Affiliated High School. This was the first time that CandleX held a workshop in a public high school. CandleX is very excited to begin the sort of interaction and relationship with public school students in Beijing. The senior years of high school are a stressful period as students prepare to write their final standardized test. The results of this test will determine their future university admission potential. Students also need to decide which major they would like to pursue and this is a decision that can also increase stress levels. Knowing how to identify and manage negative and stress driven emotions can help students get through this difficult period more easily. CandleX hosted a workshop with the students with the intention of raising awareness about mental health and also helping the students to develop coping strategies. The students responded well to this content and we hope that they will find some benefit in the coming weeks as they face their exams. CandleX founder, Xiaojie Qin, says. “I think of CandleX as a person that travels around to plant seeds.” Mental health is often ignored in our society and if by raising awareness and introducing people to the importance of taking care of one’s mental health we are helping these concepts to take root and grow. The younger generations are the future and by giving them the opportunity to learn about and consider mental health we hope to propagate these kinds of healthy habits in the future of our society.

Times have changed; We are living during a global pandemic and life as we knew it no longer exists. Most of us have been on lockdown in our homes for at least two months and all of our hopes, dreams, and plans are at the least interrupted, and some are put on hold for now. However, we are strong and we know that life must go on so we are learning how to do things differently. This year, CandleX’s annual workshop with Elite Scholars of China was moved online using GoToMeeting. Moving from China to the United States to further one’s education is exciting, yet can be scary too! On April 26th, 2020 CandleX’s mental health consultant, Melena Slaven, presented to a group of students who are planning to go to some of the top universities in the US. Many have already been accepted and are counting down the days of their departure (watching and waiting for flights to open)! While most of them have visited the US they realize that living there long-term has new challenges. Melena Slaven, M.A., CRC, NCC The workshop was given to prepare the students for their life abroad. We know they have such questions as: How do I cope with stress in college? How do I care for my emotional well-being in a new place? What if my roommate talks about suicide? What mental health issues commonly affect college students? What are the cultural differences between Chinese and Americans? Students were given information and tools to use in their everyday life. Topics that were covered included culture shock, peer pressure, signs of depression and suicide, self-care, seeking help, and making friends. Students were encouraged to build a social network as soon as possible after their arrival. Students were shown how to use the Meetup app as a way to make friends easily and were encouraged to download the increasingly popular Headspace app that is used for guided meditation. We collected the feedback from the participants to assess our workshop’s outcomes and benefits. Students described the workshop as: helpful and straightforward. 100% of the respondents said that they would recommend the workshop to a friend. 100% of the respondents stated that the workshop gave them ideas on how to take care of themselves. And, 100% of the respondents said they now understand depression better after the workshop. This is the fifth year CandleX has collaborated with ESC and every year we make changes to the workshop to best meet the students’ wants and needs. Good luck to this year’s participants. CandleX is wishing you success and all the best in your future endeavors. #mentalhealth #teens #Beijing #China #depression #psychosocialsupport

When you think of what you might enjoy doing on any given weekend, what comes to mind? Relaxing with loved ones, family, or friends? Taking a pet for a leisurely walk outside and enjoying nature? Learning about something new? Eating a big and delicious meal? Well, it just so happens that on March 21st CandleX was able to combine all of these activities into our very successful third dog event! For this outing, we took our time strolling through the Beijing hutongs with our furry family members, learned some interesting bits of history along the way, and at the end of our walk sat down to a much-anticipated meal at a wonderful Yunnanese restaurant. We began gathering around 9 a.m. at Shichahai subway station, waking ourselves up with warm beverages and good conversation. All our doggies received snacks for the walk, provided by Real 鲜食宠鲜粮. Once everyone arrived, we set off on our adventure! As expected, the dogs took the lead! We started with a relaxing walk along the beautiful Jade River, which really stands up to its name! Some of the dogs were keener to explore than others, but everyone enjoyed the scenery and the clear, refreshing morning air. Soon we moved into the winding alleyways of the hutong neighborhoods in the heart of Beijing. This was the most educational part of our day. Our doggy friends were probably less interested in learning the history behind how the hutongs got their name, or the important information doorway architecture and decoration can provide (Have you ever wondered what the different numbers of beams above some doorways might signify, or why a house might have stone drums or books on either side of its threshold?), but the human participants soaked up these tidbits with interest! As our walk progressed, we didn’t limit ourselves to looking and learning history. The time also gave us an opportunity to get to know each other. What a wonderful way to make new human and canine friends!After about an hour and a half of exploration we sat down to the wonderful food and homey atmosphere of Yun’er Town, nestled among the buildings and shops along scenic Beiluoguxiang.What a fantastic place to rest after our walk and build upon the friendships begun in the morning. Great food, great conversation, and plenty of play—definitely among the best ways to spend a weekend morning! Thank you to everyone, dog and human, who participated.We will be hosting dog events throughout the year, so if you missed this one and are keen to join us in the future, please join our Dog Event WeChat group to stay in touch! The funds raised by our dog events and donations go to a good cause—the CandleX Mental Health Pre-treatment Guidance Project. Your support enables CandleX to keep our mental health resources and services accessible to those who are in need, regardless of their financial capability. We would like to thank our photographer, Yang Zhou, for capturing all the fun of the day. We would also like to thank our sponsor, Real 鲜食宠鲜粮, for their continued support, for providing the dog snacks and for donating a portion of their sales to our project. Special thanks to Lost Plate Food Tours for providing us with the hutong walking route. Feel free to check out their authentic local food tours in Beijing! CandleX’s Resources Are you or a friend in a Crisis? Crisis Support Your questions on mental health | CandleX Classroom https://www.candlex.cn/classroom Depression stories from our community members (both adults and teens) CandleX Column | Community Writing https://www.candlex.cn/community-writing Pretreatment CandleX Wechat Groups all ages, add our admin: niama_elazzab for 15-22 year old, add our admin: amaraprenderyya Peer Support Group biweekly meetings and biweekly hangout

Author: Nathan Williams Edited in 2021 “Hello everyone, I wish I could be there tonight to be among you all, you who want to know more, you who want to share and especially the men who are there, being brave. “Come over to mine tonight and we’ll talk it out”… …That’s what I said to my friend Alex after one of his deep depressive episodes. He disappeared for a week without a word. When he came back I wanted to really understand and help him. I thought all he needed was a good reflective session with a friend and time to find some solutions to all of his problems - or at the very least, a few ways forward to make the first step. After 4 hours and a few bottles of wine, we started arguing, he started treating it as a joke and I was annoyed that he mocked my help. I didn’t understand back then, but luckily he forgave me, we brushed it under the rug and carried on our friendship, which was by all accounts - was a truly fantastic one with many happy memories with many adventures! He was a brilliant actor, I made films, he acted in them. On occasion we would both act in the same play and after rehearsal we would go to the local pub “The Lichfield Vaults” or “The Barrels” depending on our mood - Alex’s usual was a pint of ale and a whiskey chaser… which soon became my go-to combination. In 2015 I had just got a promotion, my relationship with my girlfriend was starting to fall apart and my family was in the middle of a feud that was extremely vicious. I’ve always been the diplomatic one, I try to be kind and I try my best to put myself in other people’s shoes. Like my failed rescue attempt with Alex, I could not stop my family falling apart; I couldn’t find the right words to save my relationship and my work load increased almost daily. To make my family happy I had to pick a side and forsake other family members, my girlfriend wanted me to give up on a major part of who I was because she wasn’t willing to change - it felt like the entire world was bullying me to move and all I wanted to do was be still. Alex was the only person who noticed the change in me and encouraged me to go to the doctors. I had started to have random anxiety attacks in public, I broke out in tears queuing for coffee in Starbucks, I couldn’t get out of bed in the morning and I was gaining weight. The doctor put me on anti-depressants and Alex, for a time, was my only comfort. My girlfriend was no comfort; she had suffered from depression and anorexia as a teenager and consequently, never took mine seriously. It almost felt like the very notion I was depressed was an insult to her. At first, I struggled to take ownership of my reality - I hadn’t struggled to eat and been forced to like she had. Like Alex, I hadn’t booked out a hotel room with the intention of killing myself (that’s where he went during his depressive episode by the way). How could I complain? My depression wasn’t half as bad as all that, I felt like a fraud. After a few months the medication really kicked in, I felt more balanced yet numb; my weight came down because I was exercising. One night I had a seizure - a possible side effect of the meds I was on. I was worried it could happen at any time so I had to come clean - with everyone. I told work and they were actually really great, more supportive and understanding than I could possibly imagine. The first thing my mother did was hug me and for the first time in a long time, my family listened to what I had to say. One night, writing in my journal I realized that I was in mourning. I was mourning for the death of who I used to be. That version of me was a real go-getter, he embraced life with such energy - he was the master of his own destiny. But then the real epiphany came, that “go-getter” also lead me to this point. He was partly to blame for where I am now. So then I thought what if that old version of me hadn’t got everything figured out? Suddenly my opinion of depression flipped - I wasn’t cursed, I was given a superpower. What if, with this new view of the world, I could build a version of me that wasn’t going to break down like the last one did? Suddenly I saw myself as a vintage car: I need a new engine and sturdier tires- but I wanna keep the original dash board and leather seats. I thought about what I wanted to keep and what I needed to fix. Slowly, I began to build myself up. It wasn’t easy and to say I had my setbacks is an understatement, I’ve spent many a night drinking myself to oblivion and neglected my health. But 3 years on I am no longer on anti-depressants and as much as I can, I cut negativity and negative people out of my life. In 2017, Alex killed himself. At the time, I consoled myself that he wanted to do it, it was his choice. I’m not sure if I believe that anymore. Like myself, Alex didn’t hate life, he loved it, he had so much empathy and he cared for his friends and family. The weight of all that love became too heavy for him. He wanted to build communities and make people’s lives better - he just didn’t know how. In the wake of his passing, a trust was set up in his name “The Alex Evans Fund” - it helps young people who want to start something creative, be it a play, a film, acting lessons, music lessons - you name it. His older brother moved back home and set up “Powerhouse Studios” - an acting company he is trying to build what Alex couldn’t. Art was made in his name, songs have been written and performed - his legacy after his death is tragically the very thing he was searching for in life. I know Alex would have wanted to be around to see all of this goodness and be a part of his community. Alex was truly brilliant. For anyone hearing these words who are struggling with depression, do not lose hope. It is scary, but taking a chance on yourself could be all you need. When I saw my depression as a superpower, I took a gamble, I planted a seed in my head and I allowed it to grow. When you have depression you focus on how you can’t move forward - but sometimes a sidestep is better. So - think sideways, always, especially when you feel at your lowest. Some days I wish I could stay in bed, but so does everyone else. Most days, I still mourn for that old version of me, I long for him to come back in the same way I long for Alex to come back. The difference is that while I am alive, I have a chance to build something better. However, I will never be able to sit with my old friend and laugh at our jokes - our adventures have sadly come to an end. I’m not sure what anyone will take from this story. Maybe I just want to praise the man he was and say goodbye to the man I was. But from the bottom of my heart, thank you for listening.” If you (or someone you know) are struggling and don’t know where to go from here, our “pre-treatment guidance” program might help you. For a more social approach to support, consider joining one of our bi-weekly peer support group meetings. CandleX is also joining hands with DNC at the cross road of mental health and relationships. Follow them on wechat by scanning the QR code below for more. CandleX’s Resources Are you or a friend in a Crisis? Crisis Support Your questions on mental health | CandleX Classroom https://www.candlex.cn/classroom Depression stories from our community members (both adults and teens) CandleX Column | Community Writing https://www.candlex.cn/community-writing Pretreatment CandleX Wechat Groups all ages, add our admin: niama_elazzab for 15-22 year old, add our admin: amaraprenderyya Peer Support Group biweekly meetings and biweekly hangout

Never Tony, a good friend of mine, showed me a video of him in this gym class he was going to, some kind of foreign fighting thing. All I could see was that he was getting “beaten up” in many different ways. He decided to demonstrate and trapped my head and shoulder between his legs. It was not funny to me! I had two takeaways that day. That whatever thing he was doing was: brutally dangerous, and inappropriately intimate. I said to myself: I’ll NEVER do that! Years went by, and that strange fighting thing didn’t cross my mind for even a second. （GIF from Xiaojie 图片来自小杰） Until one day I went to a gathering my friend hosted. I met Andres there for the first time, and then my old friend (tall pale Max) showed up as well. In our conversation it turned out both they and another friend of mine somehow all went to this thing called Brazilian gibberish. Never quite caught the name that night. I thought to myself: ‘They are all pretty cool people and if they’re into the same thing, I should probably check it out! Plus, I might be having a crush on Andres.’ I became friends with Andres, and at some point, I asked him to take me there. Andres had a business trip coming up and I didn’t want to wait a week until he came back. Tall pale Tom was going that Monday night, and he said he could bring me to a trial class. That was a cool class! I had no idea what I was doing, but I absolutely loved it. I wanted to “fight” after class. Charlie, who was teaching that night, said the most important thing for me is to go back home in one piece and come back to fight another time. I knew I loved it right then and there on that mat that regular Monday night. I believe this is what people mean when they say: “Love at first sight”. ‘Wait, I think that might be the weird martial art thing Tony showed me a long time ago…’ （图片来自柔友, Photo by BJJ friends） Love Transcends I’ve always believed that love is easy. I am not denying the work that comes with it; the easy part is choosing to do the hard work! I took Charlie’s advice and came back as a member only two days later, despite the fact that I had no answers to my concerns. I didn’t know how I could re-arrange my time, the gym is kind of “far” from where I live, and I was scared of possibly injuring myself – which are all important factors in my decision making! Some decisions are just so easy to make. I have a slight “injury phobia” tendency. It started when I injured my lower back pretty bad in 2005 and couldn’t bear any weight for a few years and had to live with a 5-year-long chronic pain, day and night. If after countless treatments, one day, you had to get out of a car at the end of a road, walk through the mud to a village “doctor” in the middle of nowhere, pay hundreds for a few bags of mud to put on your lower back and not shower for days because you were so desperate, you could possibly develop traumatophobia as well. Somehow, with Brazilian JiuJistu (BJJ), I stood up to my phobia and struck a deal: “deal with it as they come!” I also believe that if you love something, you would choose it no matter how busy you are. Love directs! Love also travels. I have to travel from Sanlitun to Dongdaqiao almost every day! It’s okay! (If you know me, you’d know I arranged my life to work, play and sleep on my watch, for efficiency and commuting stress management. So these daily commutes are kind of a big deal.) (Image from Xiaojie 图片来自小杰) Why？ Andres asked me one day: “Why do you love it?” I probably said something along the line of “I love the fact that BJJ uses momentum, finds the path of least resistance and takes an energy saving approach to fighting. This is the same approach that I try to take towards life. It had to do with how cool BJJ moves look, and most importantly, how much respect I hold for the people that I met and train with. They are super cool, blah, blah, blah!” My mind was trying to interpret the feelings I’d experienced. Does my brain always know what my heart desires? Not always. It tries to work backwards and find out why, but that’s unnecessary. I love BJJ because when I am on the mat, I am nowhere else. When I am on the mat, voices of worry in life disappear and even the grand wishes for my future do not exist. I am in the state of “BEING!” I feel at peace with myself and the world that I live in. (picture from Xiaojie 图片来自小杰) Rolling So, it’s called Brazilian jiujitsu (BJJ). It took me a week or two to pronounce it accurately. Imagine that I told people I train Brazilian Jijisu/jujiusu/jiujiuzu over dinners for half a month! I love the social jiujitsu part, where people just fight each other on the mat after class. “What do you mean, social BJJ?”, a fellow BJJ club-member asked me when I mentioned it. “Oh, you know, the part where you partner up socially after a class. Like on lindy hop nights, there’s usually a dance class. People stay and dance socially afterwards. We call it social dance. So, I guess social BJJ”, I answered. “Oh, you mean rolling, or sparring!” That’s the term used for BJJ. “Rolling”, I replied, ‘yeah, I am feeling it’. (picture from Xiaojie 图片来自小杰) One World, One BJJ I became a BJJ person! Boy, do I bring BJJ everywhere I go! Very soon, I brought my lindy hop friends there, people that I work with, my yoga friends, and occasionally some people I randomly meet in a bar or at a potluck night! BJJ became something I talked about, a lot. When I travel, I always do some research on local BJJ clubs and go check them out. It’s always fun to learn and roll with people from other places, and socialize with them. I was in L.A. around Halloween in 2019 and joined a training session there with spider webs on the wall! I partnered with Jessica, a purple belt. Never saw a lady purple belt ever in my life (that’s 1.5 months into my BJJ life;)! She was so nice to me and I felt at home there. I do hope to see her in Beijing at my gym some time! For my most recent trip, I was in Mianyang (Sichuan) and Chongqing. I was so happy to see that my hometown offers BJJ classes. Since it’s a much smaller place than Beijing, one place was coached by a blue belt. Another place, interestingly, was coached by a – wait for it – orange belt! W*F! I would surely tell you that story on a comedy open mic night some time! I had a great time in Chongqing, and was very impressed by how many clubs there are, how good the classes were, and how good people were with BJJ. I very much enjoyed that one class done in Sichuan dialect! I chatted with the owner afterwards and he knew so much about BJJ and Beijing-based big shots! He started his BJJ journey in Beijing, and brought it back home in 2015, if I remember correctly. How wonderful it was to see how everything was connected and blooming. My trips also brought me a great deal of appreciation for my gym, and I feel incredibly lucky to be trained by our amazing coaches, and roll with people who hold up the BJJ spirit and are also so multi-talented. This is where I just want to sing: one world, one BJJ! The Commitment Few years ago, I was on a date with a guy that I matched with online. He’s a black belt of some kind of martial art. I do remember that he said he’s a black belt, and told me something about it. I remember he paused at the end of the story to kind of wait for my reaction. However, I didn’t know anything about martial art at all, and wasn’t even interested. All I could say, in all honesty, was: “……hmm, okay.” Now, after a few years, if you happen to be reading this, I wish I had said: “Oh wow, so what are you doing this weekend?!” That’s so many years of hard work, dedication, passion and persistence. That is something I am drawn to! Sometimes I hear myself using the word “committed” when describing my relationship with BJJ. I had to auto-correct myself. It’s not a “commitment”. I do not plan to spend the rest of my life with it like it’s something that I have to add to my calendar, but I do feel like I will spend the rest of my life with it. It’s like the heart that beats in my chest. It’s absurd to “commit” to it, it’s a part of me, and an expression of my “self”. I cannot find the right word for it, but when I do, I’ll write again. For now, I’m gonna get ready for tonight’s BJJ class. Compass Life gets busy sometimes, in a way that life was living me instead. Too many times, I was in places where I was struggling to find time for things or people that I recharge me. Not even long ago, there was a month that I stopping going to BJJ class, partly because of injuries, and partly because some elements of life became dominating and threw me off balance. I kinda saw that coming though when I bit off more than I could chew. That’s a pattern that I had, and it’s really hard for me not to do that. Luckily, last year, when I realized I could not make it BJJ classes for a few weeks, I knew that I need to change things. I have been seeing a therapist, which also helped me to re-center myself. That was a close call for burnout. Now looking back, I am glad I could see the momentum of my motions, and how many times I could go to BJJ class became a compass for me. Isn’t that what BJJ is about? Strong base and do get thrown off balance! (all names were replaced by made up names for privacy reasons, except Jessica) 绝不 有一天，我的一个好朋友，稻，给我看了他“健身”课的视频：一个异域风情的格斗术。我除了看到他各种被“绞杀”以外没发现别的。当时，他防不胜防的给我演示一番，突然用双腿别住了我的头和肩膀。一点也不好笑！ 那天，我对这个莫名的格斗术有两个体会： 野蛮级别的危险，还有 也太过分亲密了吧。 我心想，我绝对不会去学这个鬼东西呢！ 几年过去了，那奇怪的格斗术我都不曾在我脑海中闪现过。 （Photo from the internet 图片来自网络） 直到一天 我去朋友举办的一个小聚会。我是在那儿第一次认识了Andres，我的老朋友（高大而惨白的Max）也来了。聊天中我发现他们两个还有另一个朋友都去过一个叫巴西什么的课，我也没听明白他们说的这个课程是什么。但顿时我产生了好奇，我自己琢磨着：“他们几个都挺酷的，如果他们对这个巴西什么东西这么着迷，我也得去看看这到底是个什么。”好吧，我也承认，当时我确认对Andres有些好感。 后来我和Andres成了朋友，有次聊天时我就让他带我去看看那个巴西的格斗术。Andres正好要出差，我又不想花一个星期等他回来。 Max刚巧周一当天晚上就去，他说他可以带我去上一节体验课。 体验课酷毙了！ 我根本不知道我在干嘛，但是我如痴如醉。下课以后我特想“打架”。那节课的老师Charlie跟我说，我当下最重要的事情就是完整的回去，好好休息，欢迎下次来上课再战。 我那会儿就知道，在这个平凡的星期一夜晚，普普通通的训练垫子上，我真的爱上这个武术了。我想这大概就是“一见钟情”吧。 “等下，这怕不就是多年前，岛给我演示的那个奇怪格斗术…” （GIF from Xiaojie 图片来自小杰） 爱，所以“以身相许” 我一直认为爱会让很多事情变得容易。不是否认爱是需要经营的；而是说爱可以让我们欣然地接受拼搏和努力的“苦”！我接受了Charlie的建议，两天后就成为了这个格斗馆的会员。 其实，做决定的那一刻，还有很多我并没考虑清楚的事情。我并不知道怎么重新安排时间，格斗馆离我家有点儿“远”，我也害怕运动受伤——通常情况下，我做决定时一定要先找到这些问题的答案，而对于开始上柔术课的事情上，没有答案并没有阻止我的决定。 我稍稍有点儿受伤恐惧症的倾向。是2005年有一次我后背底部受重伤导致的，几年我都没办法背重物，而且忍受了长达五年日日夜夜的慢性疼痛。如果在无数次反复治疗后，有一天，你还得开车到一条路的尽头，下车，穿过一片泥泊，在荒无人烟的地方寻找一个乡村“医生”，花好几百块买几袋子泥巴放在后背底部，忍受好几天不能洗澡的折磨，你估计也会得上创伤恐惧症。 所以，投入到柔术中，也能说得上是“以身相许”了！ 可是对巴西柔术，我突然莫名其妙鼓起了勇气面对我的恐惧症，而且下定决心：“要直面恐惧，逆流而上！”我也深信如果我们真的对一件事感兴趣，不管多忙都能抽出时间来做。随心而动！我差不多每天都得在三里屯和东大桥之间穿梭，但是没问题！（如果你认识我，你就知道我无论工作，疯玩，还是睡觉都是盯着手表的，效率至上，绝对不能浪费时间。所以这些日常来回交通对我还算个挺大的妥协。） (picture from Xiaojie 图片来自小杰) 为什么？ Andres有一天问我：“你为什么这么喜欢巴西柔术？” 我说：“我很欣赏巴西柔术的巧妙，专研的借力，用智慧的方法格斗。这刚好是我的人生态度。而且，巴西柔术在训练和实战的时候，那些动作好炫酷哦。我也真的很尊重和欣赏咱们馆里的这群小伙伴，大家都很有才、超酷的……。”完了还讲了一堆其他我都不记得的原因！当我们去分析的时候，是我们用“大脑”去描述“心”。但，我们的头脑真的可以丝毫不差的呈现我们的“心”吗？其实，我也说不清楚我为什么就爱上了巴西柔术，我只知道： 当我光脚踩在柔术地垫上时，我便“心无旁骛”。 这是一种“只可意会，不可言传”的感受。 只要在垫子上，生活中哪怕是一直死缠烂打的那些烦心事也都消失得无影无踪，甚至对未来宏大辉煌的白日梦都变的没有意义了。我真真正正地活在了“当下”，那一刻的自己和世界是那么的平和。 (picture from Xiaojie 图片来自小杰) 实战 如你们所知，巴西柔术的名字是Brazilian jiujitsu (BJJ)。我两个星期才弄明白到底是怎么发音的。原来半个月以来，跟朋友聚会时，说到柔术的名字的时候，我都是自我发挥的：什么Brazilian Jijisu/jujiusu/jiujiuzu… 我真的喜欢社交柔术，大家课后就在训练垫上打来打去的。 “什么叫社交柔术？”一个俱乐部成员听我说到这个名词的时候很是迷惑的问。 “啊，你懂的，就是课后大家自由配对，互相打斗那部分，就好像我们摇摆舞之夜一样，一般只有一节舞蹈课。但是课后大家都留下来继续跳舞和社交。那个环节我们就叫社交舞蹈。根据这个逻辑，我觉得课后打斗就得叫‘社交打斗’。” “你是说“实战”啊！”巴西柔术里是这么叫的。 (picture from Xiaojie 图片来自小杰) 跟随巴西柔术去旅行 说来怕你不信，自打开始柔术后，我走到哪我都情不自禁的跟别人说起巴西柔术！很快，周围跳摇摆舞的朋友，同事，做瑜伽的朋友，甚至在酒吧或者是派对聚餐时认识的新朋友，都被我带过来试水了！我很明白，我的热情真的可能让人觉得我是一个柔术“托儿”，最多一次带了四个朋友过来。 旅游的时候，我也开始去当地的柔术馆打卡。能够在别的馆体验柔术，跟世界各处的人摸爬滚打，聊天，是件挺有意思的事儿。2019年，我去洛杉矶的时候，刚好是当地的万圣节。我打卡了当地的一个格斗馆，墙上都是装饰的蜘蛛网，挺有意思的！那次课，我和一个叫Jessica的女生搭配，她是紫带。当时(一个半月的巴西柔术生涯)，我那一辈子里还没见过一个系着紫带的女性，额，其实到现在都没见过耶！她人特别好，很友好的欢迎我这个小白来馆里串门，对我特别耐心，给我很多指导。我很有一天能在咱们北京馆里再跟她揉，希望那个时候我不在是个小白了。 最近一次旅行，我去了四川绵阳和重庆。回到家乡以后，还能找到巴西柔术课真的让我喜出望外。绵阳是个四线城市了吧 （但是我们独一无二的特色“米粉”），我只找到两个馆有柔术课，一个馆是个真正的格斗馆，老师是蓝带，我在他的课上学会了很多新招数。让我惊吓到爆笑的是另一个馆，一周只有一节柔术课，场地和设备都还不错，教练就绝了，那个缎带——怕是你猜也猜不到——是“橙带”！什么鬼！那趟课就更可怕了，老师各种开天辟地的“自由发挥”，我觉得这个笑料包可以拿到喜剧现场去抖抖了！家乡市中心就这么一个地方有柔术课，我也很担心这样“柔术”教学会不会让来体验的新人这一辈子都不想接触柔术了，我给他们的客服反应了我的课程体验，完全都不理我的，我也是醉了。 我在重庆玩儿得很尽兴，而且重庆俱乐部数量，课程质量，人的热情好客都让我叹为观止。而且，我终于上了一节四川话的柔术课，太巴适了！我后来和这家格斗馆的老板聊了聊，才知道他对巴西柔术了解很深，对驻扎北京的柔术大家也十分了解！他给我讲了自己的巴西柔术之旅，又是怎么在2015年（如果我没记错的话）将巴西柔术带回重庆老家的，能看到这一切都是紧密相连，生机勃勃的真的让人欣喜又欣慰。那天，我还看见他给自己两个学前年纪的孩子上私教课，代代相传的画面记忆尤深。 在老家的柔术打卡一行，也让我更加珍惜京城咱们格斗馆和柔术课，我有机会受训于如此优秀的教练们，和这么多才华横溢且热爱巴西柔术的人一起上课实战。我觉得自己十分幸运。 巴西柔术，把世界无缝链接起来了。 承诺 几年以前，我和一个约会软件上的男士去吃晚餐。他说他是一个什么格斗术的黑带，然后讲了一些关于他在格斗方面的经验和成就。他讲完以后停顿了一下，似乎是想看看我有什么反应。可是我那时对格斗毫无概念，也丝毫不感兴趣。 一向秉持诚实的精神的我，能很尴尬的说了句“噢噢。” 现在，几年以后，如果你正好在读这篇文章，我可以如下替换掉当年的回答吗？“哇真的吗，那你这周末有什么计划吗？！”一条黑带，传达的是十年如一日的激情与执着，刻苦，专心地训练，这些精神真的让我很着迷！ 有时候我听自己用“承诺”这样的词来描述我和巴西柔术之间的关系。 我得“自动纠正”下我自己。不是“承诺”， 如果用“承诺”去描述心脏在胸腔中的跳动，听着会很奇怪吧。我不打算把巴西柔术像是工作会议一样都加到我的日程表里。柔术像是我的生命发动机的一部分，它是“我”的一种表达方式。 指南针 有时候生活变得很忙，忙的呼吸都不自由了。以前，我经常找不到时间去做给自己充电的事情、或者给自己身边亲的人留出足够的时间。其实，就在前不久，有一个月，我也忙到一节柔术课都没上了，一半是因为受伤了，一半真是忙的不可开交。不过这个真得赖我自己，干了件吃不了兜着走的事情，总是告诉自己忙点可以应付。这不是我第一次这样了，我经常给自己找事，非得把自己忙到不可开交才罢休，我知道这样不好，但似乎又重蹈覆辙。还好，这次我把几周没能去上柔术课的事情当成了预警，再加上我正看着心理咨询，刚好帮我梳理了头绪，经过不小的努力，把生活重新安排了下，终于避免了精力”弹尽粮绝”的下场。 如果我们生活中都没有时间做给自己充电的事情，毕竟会被生活消耗掉的。柔术这个指南针可在这次真的救了我一命啊。这不就是柔术的格斗要点吗？扎实的根基，别让别人把你扫番了！ （出于隐私原因，文中除Jessica外，所有人名均为化名） CandleX’s Resources Are you or a friend in a Crisis? Crisis Support Your questions on mental health | CandleX Classroom https://www.candlex.cn/classroom Depression stories from our community members (both adults and teens) CandleX Column | Community Writing https://www.candlex.cn/community-writing Pretreatment CandleX Wechat Groups all ages, add our admin: niama_elazzab for 15-22 year old, add our admin: amaraprenderyya Peer Support Group biweekly meetings and biweekly hangout

Press to donate directly to CandleX Via Wechat, Alipay or Paypal When Marco successfully returned to China in 2014, he was confronted with a challenge: to restart his life after being diagnosed with bipolar disorder – the one that forced him to leave China six months previously. During this time, he found inspiration and consolation from philosophy and a new appreciation for astronomy, forming the humble but lofty goal of trying “to understand [his] own place in the universe, and to try in some small way to be a positive force within it." But ultimately, what helped him most was the ability to build a strong social network away from home. This included many of the friends he first met in CandleX’s Mental Health Support Group. Even when experiencing recurrent struggles, Marco says those around him “knew what was going on, having previously been exposed to those aforementioned difficulties.” He adds: “There was nowhere to hide, and no point in hiding. I knew there were those who I could not only trust, but trust to not pass judgment.” Marco modeling for our Moodlab project, a photography series that explores the inner world of bipolar disorder Not only did Marco gain support from the group, he also became empowered to become a mental health advocate – for himself and others. Over the past few years, Marco has shared his own story on our WeChat platform; facilitated our support group in Beijing; and participated in many events to raise awareness, including with the British Club and Moishe House. Marco has also helped raise funds for CandleX, including for our second anniversary celebration. He continues to be active in the community, despite moving to another city. Marco speaking with an attendee at a bipolar art show, sponsored by the British Club Just like Marco, many others have found ways to become self-sufficient and make an impact in the community, with some deciding to contribute to CandleX. One of our early members, Alice, learned to accept her diagnosis of bipolar disorder and changed her outlook of life through connecting with peers in the CandleX Mental Health Support Group. She helped organize several fundraising events for CandleX as well as several other mental health organizations. She has also participated in numerous events to raise awareness of suicide prevention in Beijing. Alice, Xiaojie and the hosts of Touch Beijing International radio show Lindsay was an American expat who found it liberating to be able to talk about mental health issues with an understanding community in China. Together, they were empowered to share their stories on the Touch Beijing radio show October last year. Xiaojie and Lindsay on the Touch Beijing International radio show CandleX is a non-profit organization dedicated to raising awareness of and provide English speakers in Beijing with psychosocial support for mental health conditions. We are committed to offering a safe space where all those affected by mental health conditions are acknowledged, accepted, and supported. Our Mental Health Support Group began in 2015 as one of CandleX’s main psychosocial support programs, and it continues to run to date. Every two weeks, participants of all ages with various mental health conditions meet to share their stories and find support through their peers. In these confidential gatherings, we also provide mental health education to participants and their loved ones to increase understanding of their conditions. Through the peer group meetings, our goal is to not only foster psychosocial support for individuals, but to also help participants become their own advocates. We do this by helping them navigate the world with the tools they learn from our support group. Since the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic, we have expanded our in-person groups to online meetings as well. Here’s a quick breakdown of the demographics of those we served during the first three years: Our 3rd year report, at a glance Our program has provided support for over 100 people since its inauguration, positively impacting the participants as well as the community around us. We hope to continue this effort and offer support to those in need. We believe this is especially necessary during the pandemic, as social isolation, distance from loved ones and the economic downturn have greatly increased stress levels in our lives. To maintain the group meetings, we need your help. Our fundraising goal is to raise $10,000, which will help us run our mental health support group sessions for 2021. It will also help us develop our capacities to offer one-on-one coaching, facilitate training and increase public awareness through the media, including social media and TV. We also plan to organize community engagement events, such as suicide prevention panels, talks and workshops, as well as increase publicity so we can reach out to more people in need. We also intend to create opportunities for participants to share their stories in news journals and community events, in addition to general logistics such as securing a safe and confidential location, where group meetings are held in person. We are highly regarded in Beijing and the surrounding areas. Psychologists from International Hospital in Beijing have referred many of their patients to our support group. We have also appeared in different news journals and partnered with several organizations in the past, including: We thank you for your generous donations. Your support, big or small, will allow us to continue to provide services for people with mental illnesses all over the world! CandleX’s Resources Are you or a friend in a Crisis? Crisis Support Your questions on mental health | CandleX Classroom https://www.candlex.cn/classroom Depression stories from our community members (both adults and teens) CandleX Column | Community Writing https://www.candlex.cn/community-writing A CandleX production on Depression The Tiny Little Box | A Documentary on Depression CandleX Wechat Groups all ages, add our admin: niama_elazzab for 15-22 year old, add our admin: amaraprenderyya Peer Support Group biweekly meetings and biweekly hangout

“Before becoming the facilitator of the teens’ support group, I was a writer for CandleX. I wrote about my struggles with mental health and my recovery, and found it to be a therapeutic process and a cool way to learn more about myself. We believe writing and seeing your articles published is an incredibly empowering experience, and I can attest to this.” Alison Qiu That’s why we’ve decided to start this monthly writing project for teens. We want to encourage you to share your personal experience in connection to key dates on the calendar related to mental health, such as World Suicide Prevention Day, World Bipolar Disorder Day, or even Thanksgiving. If you feel bold enough, we also offer opportunities to partner you with someone who you can interview about their experience with mental health. Interviews are a great way to get to know people, hear their unique stories, and learn that you’re not alone in your experience. You get to decide how and what to write about, because we want you to tell your story in your own authentic voice. Of course, CandleX will provide guidance along the way, from brainstorming to polishing your article. You’ll learn so much more than just how to write. More importantly, we intend to offer an opportunity to for you to process your emotions and significant life events in a therapeutic way. We believe sharing our own personal struggles and experiences is a form of healing that can help others see the light. Your voices deserve to be heard. Interested? We are glad to hear that! Please take a look at the following guidelines. They will help you to write a story that best fits the style and needs of the CandleX audience. How long should it be? We recommend writing 2-3 pages (without pictures) with font size 12, single space. What should we write about? Anything related to mental health. This could include your own feelings, experiences, and perspectives. It could also be about how you assisted a family member, friend or colleague suffering with depression. Anything, as long as it’s a story based on your personal experiences (note: please do not share other people’s story without their consent). We will post monthly themes in the group chat at the beginning of the year, and you can choose which one(s) interest you! Use these as a starting point for brainstorming, and branch out into the story you’d like to tell. Remember, instead of your worldview or tips, we’d love to read about your own personal experience. What if I don’t know what story I want to tell? We believe every person has interesting stories to tell. If you’re struggling with brainstorming, feel free to reach out to us and we can come up with something together! How often will we write? We are aiming for one article/video per month (group total), but the more people who join, the better! What should I do if I want to learn more about the program? A good place to start is reading articles other teens have written in the past, which you can find on the official CandleX WeChat account or from our website . https://www.candlex.cn/teens Who will I interview? I don’t know anything about video production Members of the adult support group, school counselors, family members, etc. Anyone who can offer insight into mental health. In terms of interviews, the video quality doesn’t have to be great! It doesn’t matter what the video of the interview looks like — content matters more than format. 2 more things to keep in mind: ● Stick to only one key message! This will help the audience digest it and make a bigger impact on the reader. If you have more than one key message, submit more than one article. ● It’s not a requirement, but you can add pictures if you’d like. Adding pictures makes the article more appealing to the reader. Be aware that if it’s a picture from you, you automatically grant us the consent to use it. Please make sure that all people (whose faces are recognizable) consent to the use of the picture. We also have a Teens’ Learning Group Project that offers learning opportunities on mental health. It is exclusively and strictly for people aged 15-22. For more inquires and questions, please add our teen admin Alison (see wechat ID below). “在成为青少年互助小组的引导者之前，我曾是始然心理CandleX的一名写手。我写下了我在康复道路上与心理健康方面的斗争，发现这本身就是一个很治愈的过程，也是一个有趣的了解自己的方法。我们相信，撰写并看到自己的文章发表是一次难以忘怀并塑造自己的经历，我可以为此作证。” -朕钰 这就是为什么我们决定开始启动这个青少年的每月写作项目。我们希望鼓励分享与心理健康相关的日子的个人经历，例如世界自杀预防日、世界躁郁症日，或者甚至感恩节都可以。 如果你够大胆的话，我们还提供机会让你与可以采访的人合作，谈谈他们的心理健康经历。访谈是一个很好的方式去了解别人，听听他们独特的故事，并了解到在人生道路上的你并不孤单。 你可以决定写什么、如何写作，因为我们希望你用自己真实的声音讲述你的的故事。当然，始然心理CandleX会提供指导，从与你头脑风暴到帮助润色你的文章。你将不仅仅学到如何写作。更重要的是，我们打算为你提供一个机会，让写作以净化内心的方式来帮助你重新看待一些重要的个人经历。我们相信分享自己的种种挫折与奋斗经历是一个治愈的过程，可以帮助自己和别人看到希望与光明。 你的声音值得倾听。 有兴趣吗？我们很高兴你有！那么请看下面的指南。这些将帮助你写出你的故事，并找到最适合始然心理CandleX观众的风格与需求。 需要写多少？ 我们建议写2-3页（没有图片），字体大小12，单间行距。 我们应该写些什么 ？ 任何与心理健康有关的事情。这可以包括你自己的感受、经历和观点。它也可以是关于你如何帮助患有抑郁症的家庭成员、朋友或同事。任何事情都可以，前提是基于你个人经历的真实故事（注意：未经他人同意，请不要分享他人的故事）。 我们将在2021年初在始然心理CandleX群聊中发布每月的主题，你可以选择任何一个你感兴趣的话题！把这些作为头脑风暴的出发点，并把话题延伸到你想讲的故事中。记住，比起你的世界观或小建议，我们更想读你自己的经历。 如果我不知道我想讲什么故事呢？ 我们相信每个人都有自己有趣的故事要讲。如果你对写什么还不确定，欢迎随时联系我们，我们一起想出办法！ 我们将多久写一次？ 我们的目标是每月一篇文章/视频（整体总和），但加入的人越多越好！ 如果我想了解更多关于这个项目的信息，我应该怎么做？ 建议先开始阅读其他青少年过去写的文章，你可以在始然心理CandleX官方微信账号或我们的 网站 上找到。 https://www.candlex.cn/teens 我可以采访谁？我不知道怎么制作视频 成人互助小组成员、学校辅导员、家庭成员等等。任何能提供心理健康见解的人。 视频质量不一定要最好！访谈的视频看起来怎么样并不重要 – 比起格式内容才是核心。 还有两件事要记住： · 保持在一个中心思想上！这有助于观众消化内容，对读者产生更深远的影响。如果你有一个以上的中心主题，可以提交多篇文章。 · 这不是一项要求，但如果愿意，可以添加图片。添加图片的文章将更吸引读者。请注意，如果这是你的照片，这代表着你自行同意我们使用它。请确保所有人（其面部可辨认出来）都同意使用这张照片。 CandleX’s Resources Are you or a friend in a Crisis? Crisis Support Your questions on mental health | CandleX Classroom https://www.candlex.cn/classroom Depression stories from our community members (both adults and teens) CandleX Column | Community Writing https://www.candlex.cn/community-writing Pretreatment CandleX Wechat Groups all ages, add our admin: niama_elazzab for 15-22 year old, add our admin: amaraprenderyya Peer Support Group biweekly meetings and biweekly hangout

2020 has been an unusual and challenging time for the world: with the rampant coronavirus and many natural disasters, this period of uncertainty and turbulence has magnified many people’s sadness, depression, anxiety, anger, loneliness as well as many other emotions. This year has been a challenge for us all, especially for families with children and students. All of a sudden, the familiar steps and rhythms of life broke for many of us. “Misfortune, that is where happiness depends; happiness, that is where misfortune underlies.” comes from an old Chinese proverb. It is this feeling of unknown and uncertainty that has pushed people's emotions to the brink, making mental health a focus of the public eye. Mental health has indeed gained more and more attention, but in China it is still a topic that can easily be ignored. CandleX, our non-profit organization based in Beijing, provides mental health services primarily to international communities. Being in operation since 2015, CandleX has gradually attracted more and more people, specifically expats and English speaking Chinese. Through this platform, many people opened their hearts for the first time, bravely acknowledging and facing their emotions, and learning how to cope with them. The five and a half years of operation have given us a lot of experience. CandleX’s teen projects have gradually expanded, starting with mental health education in schools and educational institutions. We began to feel the needs of this special group such as the mental health needs of international students in China and Chinese students overseas. This year’s teen’s open letter project has been greatly recognized and promoted by schools, media, educational institutions, counselors and psychologists. However, in some of the families, the parents do not speak English. In order to help parents better understand their child's feelings and improve their parent-child relationship, we had the idea to make a Chinese WeChat official account. After months of preparation, we will officially be launching “始然心理（ShiRan XinLi）” on January 1st, 2021. Watch the video below from the director of CandleX We hope that this platform for mental health will reach many common families in China, so that fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, teachers and students can join hands and build a healthy bridge of communication with continued education on how to maintain good mental health with each other. We hope that this program will help mental health become an ordinary topic in China. 2020年，对全世界来讲，真是一段特殊的日子：新冠病毒肆虐蔓延，自然灾害此起彼伏。人们的悲伤、抑郁、焦虑、愤怒、孤独等情绪……在这种潮起潮落的阴霾下，好像被突然放大了无数倍。尤其孩子们，学生们，不得不蛰居在家里上网课，熟悉的节奏，一下子被打破，人们仿佛被一个个独立的玻璃屋突然罩住，不能真真切切感受对方亲切的呼吸。 “福兮，焉知祸兮，祸兮，焉知福兮。”正是这种祸福不知的浪潮，一下子把如何引导人们的情绪推向前台，成为各方人士努力的焦点工程。 诚然，心理健康已经越来越受到人们的关注，但依然可以说，是被挤在一个容易被忽视的角落。在北京，我们创建的面向以在北京的国际人群的机构CandleX，从2015年成立至今已经运转了五年半，逐步规范地、充满爱心地吸引了许多人士，主要是国际人群、华裔以及留学生。通过这个平台，许多人第一次敞开心扉，勇敢地感知自己的情绪，面对自己的情绪，积极调整自己的情绪。 这五年半的运作给了我们很多的经验，给了我们很多的信心。青少年的心理健康项目逐步发展扩大，我们从在学校、教育机构做心理健康教育开始，也更多的感受到一个特殊群体的特殊需求，即在华的国际学校学生，以及在国外的中国留学生心理健康的需求。而今年的“青少年公开信”项目得到学校、媒体、教育机构以及心理咨询师和心理学家的认可和推广。而这一部分家庭中，有一部分家庭的父母不讲英文，为了更好的帮助这些家庭的家长了解到自己子女的心声、促进亲子关系的改善，就有了做一个中文公众号的想法，涉及家长教育以及翻译青少年教育的原创内容 。所以我们决定：2021年1月1日，开启运营CandleX中文公众号: 始然心理 CandleX 我们希望这一心理健康公益平台，欣欣然走进中国的普通家庭，让父与子，母与女，老师和学生携起手来，愉快地搭建心理沟通的桥梁，让心理健康成为一个阳光话题，让孩子们的人生轻松起来，让父母的挚爱轻松起来，一起向前努力。 我们采访了始然心理（CandleX）创始人及执行总监秦小杰，她简单地介绍了我们的成长，并规划拓展了新的目标与平台。 美国心理学家莫顿•亨特说得好：面对一个目标，迈出一小步，再一小步，体会每一步带来的成就感，直到达成自己的目标。我们相信：“始然心理”会稳步成长，为子女和家长，为学生和老师，搭建沟通的桥梁，学习如何维持心理健康，并帮助青少年身心健康地成长。 微信扫码以关注我们的中文公众号

Hello there! Here’s the latest from our brave young people writing the letter they have always wanted to write, as part of our Community Writing Project sharing stories from our community. Our writer this week is Mary, a Beijing-based high schooler, who wrote a letter “to her parents” about a recent moving experience she had with music. If you haven’t already, don’t forget to follow us on Twitter at @CandleX_Beijing To my dearest parents, It's been quite a while since the last time I wrote to you. Last week, I attended an online session called “anonymous pen-pals”, where students write letters anonymously. It turned out to be great. Many students got to express their feelings freely. However, some students still couldn’t express themselves well and were still hiding their inner feelings deep inside their minds. My best friend Catherine is one of these students. On the last school day of sophomore, I saw Catherine walk straight out of the classroom during class time without the teacher’s permission. Watching her walking out of the room, I knew it was the bipolar disorder that gave her a panic attack. It was not the first time. I learned from a psychology lecture that bipolar disorder can increase a person’s blood pressure and could potentially lead to this kind of panic attack. I was sad about what happened to my friend, but I couldn’t do anything to help her. So I went to talk with my psychology teacher, and she advised me to play the piano for my friend. I did as the teacher told me, and with my music playing, Catherine was able to calm down. Music’s calming effect drives me to dive into how music can release people from their traumas and help them step out of their experiences. I asked my teacher about the power of music, and she told me about music therapy. She even introduced me to a Music Therapy program in Sabah, Malaysia. With great interest, I attended the program last summer and learned about basic music therapy with the local music therapist. The most memorable concept that I was taught is tuning in—patients and the therapist reach a musical harmony in melody and pitch. When practicing tuning in, I came to realize that music therapy uses music as a form of communication to guide patients to express their feelings. Without verbal communication, people use different instruments and tones to play harmonious music with a beautiful melody and perfect pitch. Tuning-in also means using different melodies and rhythms to stimulate different human emotions and to help music therapists understand patients’ traumas. When you heard that I will attend the program in Malaysia, you didn’t support me because you were concerned about my safety. However, I actually learned a lot during those music therapy workshops. I really hope that you can understand my wish and support my decisions in the future. Best, Mary Thanks for reading! Have you signed up for our online CBT learning course yet? San the QR code above to join us learning together about cognitive behavioral therapy via WeChat and Future Learn.

My smile disappeared as soon as I hung up the video call with my parents. My facial muscles felt stiff. It’s always hard to hold a fake smile for long. I was struggling, but I didn’t tell my parents because I didn’t want them to worry. That would only make me feel worse. I tried to cheer myself up by watching cute baby videos. When that didn’t work, I found myself wishing that there was someone who understood how I was feeling and could talk me out of the feelings of stress and anxiety. I know that it’s not just my mental health that is suffering. I’ve heard about similar experiences from a lot of my friends. “I have a big friend group, but I still feel so isolated.” When was the last time that you were vulnerable with your friends? You love them and you trust them, but everyone seems so put together that you don’t want to confess your true feelings. You feel like you’re the only one who’s not doing that well. Or maybe you haven’t been vulnerable with them because you don’t want to upset them or impose on them. “I felt ashamed that Covid had been stressing me out, because so many people have it way worse than me. Some are physically affected, but I am still healthy.” “I always feel anxious, but I don’t know if that’s because I am just a weak person.” Do you ever dismiss your mental health problems as trivial? We believe that anyone who struggles, no matter to what extent, deserves help and support. — Teens’ Learning Group Lead 2020 Background information Launched in 2015, the mission of CandleX is to provide English speaking people in Beijing with affordable, accessible, and quality mental health support. In 2020, we expanded our program to focus on mental health education and support among Chinese students who will be/ are studying abroad. Teens’ learning group A space where we learn about common mental health issues and ways to cope with them. We can also share our stories and experiences (anonymously or not) and support each other in difficult situations. You are not alone. What will we do? Learn about mental illnesses— their symptoms, treatment, and prevention Help and support each other through difficult situations Practice using coping skills and keep each other accountable Group meditation Share weekly self-help resources Relaxation and game Who is eligible? Teens and young adults’ from age 15-22 (for adults of age 23+, please join our adult’s mental health group. Add our admin here on WeChat: Niama_elazzab) People who need a space to talk and destress People who need help dealing with life situations People who are willing to support each other People who are learning about psychology and related fields of studies People who can and are willing to communicate with English To join: Please add our teen’s group admin on your WeChat: Amaraprenderyya (put in the remark: teens WeChat group) Disclaimer: TEENS’ LEARNING GROUP DOES NOT CONSTITUTE MEDICAL SUPPORT. PLEASE SEEK PROFESSIONAL TREATMENT FOR SEVERE CONDITIONS. CandleX’s Resources Are you or a friend in a Crisis? Crisis Support Your questions on mental health | CandleX Classroom https://www.candlex.cn/classroom Depression stories from our community members (both adults and teens) CandleX Column | Community Writing https://www.candlex.cn/community-writing A CandleX production on Depression The Tiny Little Box | A Documentary on Depression CandleX Wechat Groups all ages, add our admin: niama_elazzab  for 15-22 year old, add our admin:  amaraprenderyya Peer Support Group biweekly meetings and biweekly hangout