Since the very start, we have wanted CandleX to be a platform for sharing stories and advice about mental health. Throughout previous projects, such as Moodlab, where we produced a series of story on bipolar disorder and our recent Letters to Parents series, we have focused on real-life experiences and stories of people living with mental health conditions, and of young people as they learn more about themselves. Now, for, we are putting all of these projects together under an expanded umbrella project we are calling Community Writing. Mental health matters. Your stories matter. CandleX community matters. That’s why this new project will bring together all our community stories, interviews, and submitted writing, and will expand to cover more types of submitted writing too. Lots of you have been enjoying our Open Letters to Parents Series in which some brave young people share the letters they have always wanted to write to their parents. We’re expanding this to include any letter that our young writers would like to share and change the name to “Teens Open Letter, part of Community Writing”. It also includes community interviews on topics related to mental health: "My Stories, My Emotions"(originally named “My Depression, My Story”), a series of first-person accounts of living with mental illness in Beijing, and other community-submitted stories about mental health. To see the stories, keep following our WeChat account or check out the new tab on our website: www.candlex.cn Do you have a story to tell that could inspire, educate, or engage our Beijing-based audience? Get in touch and send us writing by e-mail or WeChat. If you haven’t already, don’t forget to follow us on Twitter at @CandleX_Beijing to read more about what we get up to! #communitywriting #teens #depression #mentalhealth

This week, we are reposting a blog from Joel Lewin, a journalist turned counselor and recovering addict. This piece was originally posted on https://recovereads.com/2019/01/08/mind-reading-screws-you-up-stop/ when the author was in recovery for heroin addiction. To read more from Joel, tap “Read more” below. I was in a meeting. It was a brief, informal meeting, a get-to-know-you meeting with an editor at a job I’d just started. He asked me a friendly question about Russia because we’d both spent time there. Before I began to answer, there was an explosion of thoughts in my head. Nothing to do with Russia. All to do with me, or more specifically what this guy would think of me as a result of this response I was yet to even formulate, let alone utter. “You're going to say something stupid,” I said to myself, “You’re going to humiliate yourself… he’s going to think you’re stupid… he already thinks you’re stupid…just look at the way he’s looking at you… “what’s wrong with this guy?” he is thinking to himself.” It was quite a cacophony, and it only got louder as I began to speak. Then I felt my heart racing. That’s when shit got real. That was always when shit got real when I felt the little guy accelerate to an alarming pace. And now we have a secondary disturbance. I start saying to myself, “I’m so anxious… I shouldn’t be anxious… he can see I’m anxious… [has he got a heart rate monitor in his eyes?] He thinksI’m weak and weird for being anxious”. The heartbeats harder. Sweat on my back. “Now I’ve blown it…” [what was there to blow?? It’s a friendly chat!] “He can see I’m noteworthy of this job. He’s wondering how the hell I got it in the first place. They can all see I’m a nutcase. I’m going to be fired before I’ve even started.” My heart hammered even harder, and the harder he hammered the more negative the thoughts were projecting into this editor’s mind became. The distress was both physical and psychological. I felt an overwhelming urge to escape. *** In reality, nothing much had happened. Just a conversation, maybe a little bit disjointed, but conversations often are. But after that meeting, I felt despair. I felt hopeless. I had stopped using drugs for a few weeks before starting that job because it meant a lot to me and I wanted to do well. “I thought things were supposed to get better without drugs!” I said to myself afterward. But that excruciating anxiety and the ensuing despair lead me back to the only coping mechanism (I thought) I could rely on- drugs. I resolved to never enter that office again without enough opiates to ensure I was insulated from those experiences. It may sound ridiculous, and the thought process is ridiculous looking back. But when you're in it it’s powerful and it’s painful and it’s overwhelming. *** Cognitive Behavioural Therapy says that it’s not external events that cause our feelings, but rather our thoughts and beliefs about those events. So by changing our thoughts, we can change our feelings. The situation above is an example of mind-reading, one of a number of cognitive distortions that can warp the way we perceive things. These distortions tend to reinforce negative thoughts and feelings we have about ourselves, others and the world. When engaging in mind-reading we jump to conclusions about what other people are thinking and feeling with little or no evidence. Mind-reading is a dangerous cognitive distortion. It can cause social anxiety when we take our own feelings of self-doubt and project them onto others, assuming they’re thinking the same things about us, further smashing our self-worth. It can ruin relationships. For example, your partner is late to meet you for dinner. You think that he’s thinking he’s tired of you and you’re not worth it. You feel angry and instigate an argument. Really he was just busy at work. It is impossible to ever truly know and fully understand what someone else is thinking. They probably don’t even really know themselves. The best we can do is interpret the imperfect signals conveyed through their words, tone and body language. This process is especially unreliable when your mind is rattled by strong emotion and the unfamiliar experience of sobriety. Mind-reading is a minefield in the early days of recovery. So what can you do about it? Awareness is the first step. When you’re anxious and you feel you’re being judged, or you're angry and you feel someone’s behavior is a personal attack, take a step back and become aware of your thinking. Recognizing these thoughts are easier said than done. Sometimes they come so automatically spark intense emotional reactions so rapidly that we hardly notice them mediating between the event and the emotions. When you are able to identify your mind-reading, begin to interrogate the thoughts. How realistic are they? What’s the evidence for and against them? When we start to see that thoughts are just guesses, they become less powerful and controlling. They yield to questioning more readily and it becomes easier to let go of the unhelpful ones. Explore other possibilities. Say, for example, you arrive at work, and you smile at your boss but he just ignores you and walks straight past. You think, “He’s pissed-off with me. He thinks I’m crap at my job.” Fear and despondency set in. But if you look at the other possibilities, “He might be stressed out with a lot on his mind,” you aren’t lumped with the same emotional consequences. You probably won't even remember it in five minutes. I wish I could go back and help my younger self understand mind reading and smash those irrational beliefs. It might have saved me a lot of pain, years of addiction. So yeah, change your thoughts to change your feelings. Thanks for reading our latest blog! - CandleX #mystorywithdepression #mentalhealth #depression #bipolardisorder #psychologicalsupport #anxiety #suicideprevention

In Nov 2019, we provided two basic mental health workshops to Goethe-Institut China for their employees. The presentation had four parts, how to distinguish between depression and being in a bad mood, the current situation of depression, self-care, and how to look after others. In the Haidian office, Xiaojie also used case studies to illustrate the key content to make it more digestible for the audience. Starting with sharing their own perception towards being in a bad mood, people from the Goethe-Institut were introduced with the symptoms of depression, like reduced energy, and the influence of depression such as: Reduced energy, feeling easily fatigued Disturbance in sleep pattern Unexplained physical symptoms Depressed mood or frequent crying Feelings of hopelessness Social isolation, feeling detached from others Withdrawal from work Reduced confidence or self-esteem Neglecting duties, such as homework, housework Thoughts of suicide or self-harm At the same time, Xiaojie also corrected some common myths about depression and clarified the facts, which was what truly matters. Myths: Even if depression is an illness, it cannot be treated the way other illnesses can. Depression is one's own creation or fault. If a person is depressed, there has to be an external factor bothering him. Once depressed, a person remains depressed throughout his/her life. Facts: Depression is a treatable disorder. Treatments can include therapy, counseling, and medications. The sufferers should not be blamed for the illness. There can be many causes. Chemical changes in the brain can lead to depression without any external precipitating factor. In most cases, depression lasts for a limited period. Adequate treatments lead to complete resolution of symptoms and the person can return to a normal state of activity and health. After learning the basic knowledge of depression, they did online DASS-21 to simply get to know about their emotion levels, which helped them to reveal potential problems and to take further steps to cope with them. Then, Xiaojie presented some important skills that are useful for people to help themselves if they find themselves depressed and to care for other people around who are suffering from depression. According to different degrees of depression, different strategies should be applied in order to effectively help people with depression, to reduce the influence of depression. In terms of taking care of people with depression, the first thing to be check should be the closeness of the relationship, which helps us to know our boundaries and effectiveness in terms of supporting others. People need to listen to the person and not avoid the topic, while avoiding using logic to fight with emotions and not blindly giving advice. Xiaojie also provided some professional helplines in case anyone met an emergency situation but did not know what to do. The presentation aroused some reflections of people in Goethe-Institut and made them pose many doubts and questions, which showed their interest in knowing more about this topic. We ended the workshop with the short Q&A part. We believe that the workshop must have helped them to take the first step of learning about mental issues. This experience was proven to be an enriching one and one CandleX would keep on providing with employees in the future. CandleX’s Resources Are you or a friend in a Crisis? Crisis Support Your questions on mental health | CandleX Classroom https://www.candlex.cn/classroom Depression stories from our community members (both adults and teens) CandleX Column | Community Writing https://www.candlex.cn/community-writing Pretreatment CandleX Wechat Groups all ages, add our admin: niama_elazzab for 15-22 year old, add our admin:  amaraprenderyya Peer Support Group biweekly meetings and biweekly hangout

In China, by the end of 2019, nearly 140,000 people would die by suicide [1]. In China, suicide is the fifth leading cause of death and accounts for over one-quarter of suicides worldwide. In Beijing, a city estimated to have 22 million people, this means that around 2100 die by suicide each year. Therefore, on average, six people complete suicide each day in Beijing (if calculated with the same suicide rate (9.7 per 100,000 people). Yet, we do not talk about it. CandleX is teaming up with BARE for a panel discussion on mental health at Crossboundaries in Sanlitun with the intention to reduce stigma (which prevents most from seeking support), to offer intervention tools for oneself and others, and to bring this topic to our Beijing community. Our Panelists We have invited two community members, one from our CandleX Support Group, and one from the Beijing community, to talk about their lived, first-hand experiences. We would like to thank them for their openness and kindness to speak about it, so together as a community, we are able to help others. Xiaojie, Director/Founder of CandleX, and facilitator of the peer support group since 2015 will join the panel to share her experiences working with people in crisis from the psychosocial support aspect. Psychologist, Dr. Hu Bojun, from United Family, will also join the panel to complete the discussion from a clinical perspective. The event will be moderated by Helena from BARE. We have 60 mins for panel discussion and 30 mins for Q&A. Event Info Location: Crossboundaries, Sanlitun, Beijing (next to Home Plate) Ticket: - pre-sale 120 rmb (by 13th October), 150 rmb at the door - pre-sale 60 rmb (by 13th October), 80 rmb at the door (for those making less than 8000rmb/month) - Time: registration is 7:00-7:15 pm, panel discussion: 7:30-9:00 pm Note: due to the nature of the topic and respect for people on the panel, we will close the door at 7:25 pm so we can start on time without distraction Registration: scan the QR code below, or click on “read more” This panel discussion is our effort to create a necessary workforce, a foundation, based on “A Stepped Care Model for Suicide Care” We’d like to invite you to read these articles from our community and watch videos CandleX produced recently to bring awareness to suicide prevention. In the Moment of Blur | Sam's Story with Depression The Fine Line between Life and Death l Xiaojie's poem Suicide Prevention, CandleX BJ (Video) Signs | Suicide Prevention (video) If you know anyone that is struggling with depression or severe stress, you can encourage them to go to our CandleX Mental Health Peer Support Group. To learn more about the support group, you can take a look at our peer support review reports from the past few years. About BARE BARE is a safe space for people to be their true selves and relate to each other in order to find the support they need to cope with the challenges of the modern world. BARE allows people to remove their protective armor, share their behind-the-scenes, and encourage them to build meaningful relationships, reminding them they are not alone. We hope BARE will be the first step in fostering a broader culture of strength through vulnerability. Special thanks to Crossboundaries for the venue support References: 1. http://worldpopulationreview.com/countries/suicide-rate-by-country/ CandleX’s Resources Are you or a friend in a Crisis? Crisis Support Your questions on mental health | CandleX Classroom https://www.candlex.cn/classroom Depression stories from our community members (both adults and teens) CandleX Column | Community Writing https://www.candlex.cn/community-writing Pretreatment CandleX Wechat Groups all ages, add our admin: niama_elazzab for 15-22 year old, add our admin: amaraprenderyya Peer Support Group biweekly meetings and biweekly hangout

Fresh off our successful photo exhibit at Camera Stylo, CandleX’ popular series of workshops on Professional Anxiety is back! Last month our Texas-born superstar counsellor Kindall gave another workshop on stress at work, this time in collaboration with BARE and held at WeWork Dongdaqiao. In case you haven’t made it to one of her workshops yet, here are more tips on how to deal with professional anxiety. 1. Identify your personal motivations What motivates you? Working hard every day towards goals you aren’t even sure you want to achieve would stress anybody out. So identifying your personal motivations in your career is the first step towards understanding work anxiety. 2. Know that burnout is real Burnout is recognized by the American Medical Association as ‘a major public health problem’. Kindall encouraged participants to recognise the signs of burnout in themselves and others and to understand some of the root causes of the issue. 3. Know how to respond to your specific work stressors Reflect upon and record specific incidents that have caused you stress at work in the past. Kindall explained that much anxiety that we experienced comes from specific stressors that may be exacerbated by negative thinking. What kind of situation have you responded badly to in the past? How did it make you feel? What could you have done differently? 4. Set goals to change your thinking As much as it’s tempting, absolutely no good will come from getting angry and frustrated when faced with external pressures, unfair situations or difficult choices at work. Setting realistic goals to respond to stressors differently and change your thinking is possible: but it’s not easy. Ask yourself “What can I do to change my own situation?” 5. It’s all about balance, baby Finding balance at work and in your personal life is key to reducing anxiety. But what this means could differ widely to difference people, according to Kindall. A good way to start is to consider what potentially unhealthy habits you pick up in your work environment, and make a conscious effort to find complementing activities in your personal life. Sat down at a desk all day at work? Take up aerobic exercise like running or swimming. Inundated by calls, meetings and conversations with colleagues all day? Make sure you schedule some time for yourself. 6. Learn assertive communication to get your needs met If you feel like your concerns or queries aren’t being heard, a feeling of helplessness might lead to anxiety at work. Kindall explained that you can’t change a bad boss or an insensitive coworker,but you can change your communication style by clearly expressing your emotions, opinions and wants in the same assertive way you might argue your case in professional matters. 7. Keep calm If you find yourself often overwhelmed by anxious, racing thoughts, try to schedule in some time every day for deep relaxation. It doesn’t have to be a two-hour expensive yoga class or a meditation session on a mountaintop – deep relaxation can be anything that slows your breathing, your body and your thoughts right down. About the counsellor A Licensed Professional Counselor, Professional School Counselor and National Certified Counselor in her native USA, Kindal C. Tyson has been working in the mental health field for four years, specializing in culturally sensitive, ethical counselling for adults, and has more than a decade of experience as a Professional Children’s Counselor and educator. For more about Kindall, the counsellor for this workshop, add her on wechat at Therapist_Abroad or follow her on Instagram at www.instagram.com/aspire_counsellingwell/ Did you find this helpful? Keep following our account for more tips and tricks, information and events about mental health in Beijing. Do you have an idea for a workshop, a project or a campaign? E-mail us at stories@candlex.cn CandleX is fundraising! Scan the QR code below to donate to our bipolar book project raising money to support the Beijing mental health community. #events #keyskills #workshop #eventreview #community #communication

Our key project, mental health peer support group has been running for 3 years now. Today’s article, we want to give you an insight of the demographics with the intention to bring awareness and understanding of mental health to greater audiences. As you might already know, the first support group held its first session on 27th October, 2015 and is held on the second and fourth Tuesday of each month. Since starting the support group, we have had over 112 attendees! The attendees were primarily women (63%) and between 26-36 years old (56%). It seems that most of our participants wither came from China or North America, followed by Europe. We did have some participants from Africa, South America, and Oceana too! Are our participants single or in a relationship? Well, it seems that a majority of us were single (65%). Out of the non-Chinese who attended the support groups, 48% lived in China for less than 1 year, 33% lived in China for 1-5 years, and 14% had lived in China for more than ten years! Now, let’s get into mental health aspects. Keep in mind that the results from the mania and anxiety are based off one year of data, but rest are based off of two years. Out of our attendees, 27% reported mild depression, 47% reported moderate depression, and 14% reported serious depression. 4% of our attendees reported depression along with symptoms of anxiety, depression, or mania. These are self reported statistics, and don’t necessarily have a medical diagnosis. Mania was reported in 8% of our attendees, although 54% being unsure if they were experiencing mania. Anxiety was reported in 85% of our total attendees. Almost half (49%) of our attendees have never taken medication. Out of the 51% of attendees who had taken medication, 27% were still currently taking medication. As we know, life events are often related with our current mental health status. Out of our participants, 31% believed that at least one even or situation related to their mental health situation and 69% report more than one sources of pressure. A whopping 86% of attendees reported relationship issues, comprised of 31% with romantic partnership problems, 30% with family problems, and 23% with friendship problems. Over ¾ of the attendees feel that they do not have adequate support, like having friends or family that understand them or can listen to them. Our participants are a majority expat or new to Beijing, so it might be unsurprising that 27% reported that they were facing major changes in their life, including relocation, graduation, cultural adjustments, or a new job. 25% reported job related issues and 18% felt that their career was stagnant. Other issues that were reported included physical illness, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Living in Beijing can be daunting. If you aren’t Chinese, you may face the language and cultural barriers. Even if you are Chinese and understand the language, it is difficult to feel misunderstood or like you don’t have an outlet. That is why Candlex is here. Being a resource for people who are going through the same mental anguish that we are going through is what keeps us motivated. #mentalhealth #depression #bipolardisorder #Beijing #China #psychosocialsupport #peersupport

In the spirit of World Mental Health Day in Oct, our long-time partner, Bearapy, published a book to mitigate the gendered stigma surrounding mental health. Facing mental wellbeing is a challenging task in itself, but imagine having to tackle it from an even more disadvantaged position? Though many may not realize or be willing to admit, it is more taboo for men to open up about their feelings and emotions as compared to women. Part of this is due to cultural reasons, but it is something we can work together, as a community, to change. Sharing stories about those that have struggled or are struggling with mental health is the first step to acceptance. This book provides the perfect example for this. This book includes a collection of personal stories shared by men in China. Knowing that other people out there share similar troubles as you do makes each challenge appear less daunting, and makes it just a little easier to face. Besides personal anecdotes, the book also emphasizes the importance of sustaining a healthy lifestyle. Eating well, eating on time; sleeping more, sleeping on time. These are basic steps to improving our mental wellbeing that are often overlooked by those who are overly driven towards work and success. So, what are you waiting for? Click here to read the book: https://view.joomag.com/noch-noch-going-mental-men-do-get-it-going-mental-men-do-get-it/0390556001526482910?short #reading #mentalhealth #mentalhealthstory #Bearapy

As we approach the end of summer, we will be saying our farewells to another generation of high school students leaving Beijing to study abroad. Though many have taken notice of the difficult transition from going to high school in one’s hometown to living independently in a country 7000km away, we often overlook that it is an equally, if not more, challenging transition from the parents’ perspective too. In collaboration ESC, a college counselling firm, CandleX held a Parent Support Workshop on June 24 2018, aimed to address advice on how to support your children for when they leave college and how to deal with it as a parent, too. After the workshop, parents had the opportunity to ask our speaker specific questions and also to discover local resources for continuing their education in mental health development. This event is only one of the many CandleX organizes. We pride ourselves in our proactive outreach in the local Beijing community. One of the ways in which we like to do so is by organizing and facilitating workshops for different community groups. So, if you have any questions regarding emotional support and guidance, or any interest in collaborating with CandleX in organizing mental-health-related events, do not hesitate to reach out to us via our email (info@candlex.cn) or visiting our website for more information (www.candlex.cn). CandleX’s Resources Read CandleX psychoeducation articles to learn essential knowledge on depression CandleX Classroom https://www.candlex.cn/classroom Depression stories from our community members CandleX Column | My Story with Depression https://www.candlex.cn/my-story-with-depression A CandleX production on Depression The Tiny Little Box | A Documentary on Depression Bipolar Disorder Campaign MoodLab Book #B Support Group Support Group Sign Ups Support Group: Interview with the Beijinger

Wow. Can’t believe it has already been a month since our CandleX Dinner and Bingo Night on 27th April 2018. CandleX dedicates itself towards the Beijing community by creating opportunities for anyone and everyone to gather, converse and share ideas. For those of you that came to this dinner, or have attended any CandleX event, we are sure that you can speak for how welcoming and friendly the environment is, and how inspiring it is to speak to people you may not have had the chance to before. This Dinner and Bingo Night was a great testament of just how much fun everyone can have when we take that step into our community, and we were so thrilled that the tickets for this event were sold out in a matter of days! A huge thank you for all of those who came to this amazing event; thank you Melena, for being an exceptional host; Thank you to our sponsors Q2U and Arcade by Hatchery, for providing us with a beautiful venue to host this event at, New World Beijing Hotel and CHEERS for generously providing awesome bingo prices. Special thank you to Clarissa and Sharon for donating their time and making the effort to make a change on mental health. Incredible work for keeping the event so incredibly organized (not to mention Sharon’s yummy homemade soup!) The night was filled with excitement and laughter. Who knew bingo could get so competitive? All the proceeds of this event will be going towards the continuation of our biweekly mental support groups, specifically to support the attendees who are students or unemployed. This Dinner and Bingo Night is just one of our many events to come! So, for those of you that couldn’t make it to this event, keep an eye out for other upcoming opportunities for you to bond with the community. We look forward to seeing even more of you at our next event. #Community #CandleX #support #mentalhealth #Beijing #mentalsupportgroup

Third year completed! Today marks the third year anniversary of CandleX. Instead of an article specifically written for the audience, it seems to be more like one of my journal entries: I decided to just let my thoughts flow. The CandleX media platform is for public education, raising awareness, and publishing newsletters regarding recent events or outstanding achievements. I am truly grateful and proud that we’ve been running for 3 years, with programs that make meaningful changes to people’s lives. Celebrations are usually devoted to achievements; this article, however, is about our challenges- something behind the curtains. As Maya Angelo once said, “Maybe the hardest part is, if you teach, you have to live your teaching”. We promote being honest with our feelings, acknowledging them all, and accepting them. One of my personal advocacies have always been allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Now this journal is my effort in embracing my own learnings and teachings. Three years ago, when I first had this thought of promoting mental health in Beijing, I felt my life had finally aligned with the universe. There’s no formula to know what the best job for you is, and what the meaning of life is. But I trusted this- you know it when you know it. In that moment, I was so certain. Without hesitation, on 1st April 2015, a few days after that thought emerged, I founded CandleX. In these three years, four major programs kicked off, one after another. We are on the media, and in people’s daily conversation. The founding of CandleX was like travelling in a rock that I wasn’t even aware that I was boarding. I’ll figure it out along the way, I thought. The first ‘figuring out’ was the Mental Health Peer Support Meeting. When CandleX first started out, we were mostly doing public education on depression and bipolar, in schools and communities. Half a year in, after the first program became stable, I started thinking about setting up a peer support group for people going through depression. Why? Because I was looking for one during a major episode I was going through, and I couldn’t find community support with the culture that was the most suitable for me. I had to go through that alone, and I don’t want others to go through the same thing. I remember going through a round of consultation with people of different backgrounds regarding this idea. One important question was raised: what if a suicidal participant joined the group to seek for support, but still took their own life; it puts the organization at such high risks. I know the risks are real: I volunteered at a NGO in Thailand that provide services to people with alcohol and depression issues. They’ve had many issues being in close contact with the group, and one did took his own life. The unfortunate truth is, for some others, getting just support group help is not enough. Was I fearful of running into this risk? I was. I was afraid that if someone died, people would say: “But they came to the support group. It mustn’t have been helpful!” Or even having the responsibility fall onto the group: “Did something happen in the group?” Without clarification and understanding, outsiders may have this impression. Should I just play it safe and not go through with this idea? But when I sat down, in the silence of it, I heard another voice: it came from me, the old me who was in despair and sunken in hopelessness. If someone is on the fence about their life and death, we should taken upon the responsibility of placing some more meaning and weight on ‘life.’ With compassion and empathy, they will lean towards life. There will be many lives saved I cannot give into fear. Some fear is toxic, and we won’t be able to live free and full. With toxic fear, lives that could have been saved will be lost. Without knowing how many would actually use this service, in Oct 2015, the first CandleX mental health meeting was posted online. I waited in the meeting room by myself. To my surprise, seven of us came together for the first meeting. Since then, I’ve facilitated countless meetings on this very sofa that sat many who needed love and support. Behind this closed door, tears are shed and stories are told: some cry during our opening meditation, and some even step in and find their friend or acquaintance that are already here. I would hear people say “It’s a relief to know X came to the support group too. I always admire X.” Being in the support group free us from the pain of feeling like a failure. We all sometimes feel like a failure. You don’t have to be alone on this. My job as a facilitator of the support group is to create a place for people to listen- listen with our minds and our hearts, and listen without judgement. Just listen, for real. How easy is that! I want to create a safe space. That’s why there’s the screening process ensure the intention of the participants. Come here to heal, not to prey, not to give advice and not just to simply “help others”. Sometimes, these meetings make me slightly anxious. Even with the screening, you don’t know whether there would be someone there with a personal, hidden agenda. Over the last 3 years, there were many bumps along the way. There have been many moments when I felt stressed out, disappointed and frustrated, as well as many moments I felt proud, grateful and truly happy to be running CandleX, because it gives me a sense of direction and meaning. It was, after all, the path I chose for myself. This is my three-year letter to CandleX for holding me true to what I teach the public. “Be honest with our feelings; it’s okay to be vulnerable.” That has made me a better version of myself. “Maybe the hardest part is, if you teach, you have to live your teaching.” - Maya Angelo. Happy 3rd Year Anniversary, CandleX. With love, Xiaojie