Shamanic “Unburdening” | Internal Family Systems Therapy (10)

This article was originally written in Chinese by the author Qin Xiaojie (Counselor, Psychotherapist) and later translated into English by DeepSeek, adhering to the original intent of the writing and the ethical principles of writing about client experiences.

文章由作者秦小杰（心理咨询师，心理治疗师）用中文写作（向下滑动到后半部分可见），后经Deepseek翻译成英文，秉持：写作初心和来访咨询故事写作伦理原则。

Author: Xiaojie Qin

Time: Feb 2026

When we successfully use the 'waiting room' technique to temporarily place the protectors of the exiles there, we can proceed to the stage of working with the exiles: unburdening.

An exile carrying burdens—what does it become once freed from them? Haven’t we all heard the saying, 'We must preserve a childlike heart'? When the exile heals from the state of suffering caused by systemic dysregulation, it returns to its essence: a child with intense curiosity, a dancer who sways to the rhythm of music, an organic being capable of feeling love and sorrow.

As a therapist who values empirical evidence and as a practitioner who believes in the power of experience, the unburdening phase in IFS is, in my view, a ritualistic cleansing—a renewal of the internal perceptual system inspired by ancient wisdom and ceremony. It is, to me, the application of ancient wisdom in a scientific manner.

The Four-Step Process of Working with Exiles in Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS)

Before delving into the core concepts and applications of this chapter, let us briefly review the steps involved in working with exiles.

To better present these steps, I will continue to illustrate using the case of the client “Xuanxuan”. It is important to clarify that the following narrative builds upon the specific imagery of “a cassette tape in the chest,” which genuinely emerged during the therapy sessions. Subsequently, for the sake of clarity and structured demonstration of each counseling step, I have reconstructed and presented the process in an illustrative manner.

Step 1: Connecting with the "Self". Anyone who has worked with me knows—whether in group workshops or individual sessions—I often begin or conclude activities with breathing exercises. This seemingly simple and time-consuming practice is, in fact, one of the most straightforward and effective ways to connect with the “Self.”

Step 2: Localization and Concretization. This step involves locating where the burden resides in the body or mind and then visualizing it as a concrete image. For example, in the second chapter of Xuanxuan’s therapy story, she described a cassette tape in her chest constantly playing recordings of self-blame. We can further explore this “burden” by making it more tangible—such as asking whether the voice is male or female, how old it sounds, its pace, and so on. Xuanxuan might say: “The voice is that of a man in his forties, very similar to my father’s. He sounds angry, towering over me, as if he could grab me at any moment and strike me.”

Step 3: Witnessing and Separation. I would closely observe Xuan’s breathing rhythm, depth, and facial expressions while gently reminding her to stay attuned to her breath and maintain her connection with the “Self.” At the same time, I might offer stronger guidance: “Let your ‘Self’—the part of you that embodies wisdom, strength, and compassion—gently reach out like a skilled surgeon, softly and precisely remove the cassette tape from your chest, place it on a surgical tray, and deftly stitch the opening closed. Now observe the tape. It is no longer moving with your heartbeat or breath. The sound from the tape has faded, perhaps soon stopping altogether. Let us simply witness this tape together.”

Step 4: Release and Transformation. This is the core step of the process, drawing upon the cleansing power of the four shamanic elements. Release and transformation rely on the four fundamental elements of nature: water, fire, earth, and air. What we invoke here is not some mysterious theoretical concept but rather the sensory and survival memories shared by all humanity.

I recall a profound shamanic ritual I experienced in Brazil, which included fire, earth, the gentle outdoor breeze, and water cups placed beside each participant. In Chinese culture, we also have the five elements: metal, wood, water, fire, and earth. Shamanic culture—difficult to trace to a single origin, as similar traditions have been found worldwide—represents one of humanity’s oldest customs and can be understood as a manifestation of our collective unconscious.

The unburdening process in IFS translates the ancient intuition of release and transformation from shamanic traditions into a modern, inner ritual language that the psyche can comprehend and safely enact. Suffering must be felt, witnessed, and then allowed to “leave” the body in a perceptible way. This is precisely what shamanic traditions across the globe have done for millennia: through ritual, expelling or transforming illness or malevolent spirits—symbolic burdens—from the individual.

The Ritual of Healing: A Dialogue with Humanity's Collective Sensory Memory

In therapy, the shamanic rituals of the fourth step typically involve closing the eyes and reconstructing the senses through mentally constructed imagery. Whether for purification, transformation, or rebirth, this process serves as a profound psychological symbolic language, enabling direct dialogue with our subconscious.

(Based on my limited understanding of shamanic culture—though I have some personal experience and basic knowledge—I have sought to accurately distill its essence. The following section was crafted primarily through my questions, reflections, and revisions to align with my perspective, with DeepSeek completing the explanation of shamanic culture.)

The elements chosen in shamanic culture—light/fire, water, earth, fire, and wind—are not accidental. They serve as a universal language of healing for the following reasons:

• They are the prerequisites for survival. When searching for signs of life on other planets, we look for these very elements.

• They represent universal sensory experiences. Whether from rainforests, deserts, or tundras, every child understands the warmth of sunlight on their skin, the coolness of flowing water over their palms, the weight of soil between their fingers, the light and heat of fire, and the refreshing touch of a gentle breeze. These experiences bypass all cultural and linguistic barriers, speaking directly to our nervous systems.

• They form the most fundamental metaphorical system. Our language and thinking are inherently built upon them. Expressions like “a heart heavy as stone” (earth), “overflowing emotions” (water), “a ray of hope” (light), “burning passion” (fire), and “a sigh of relief” (wind) are not mere literary devices—they are instinctive ways our bodies interpret the world.

Fire/Light: Awareness and Dissolution

Fire/light is the ultimate purifier. In the ritual, we invite th

e client to envision a warm, compassionate light shining upon the heavy burden. This light represents the awareness and unconditional love of the “Self.” Under this illumination, the burden loses its menace—melting like ice or dispersing like morning mist. This imagery speaks to the exiled part: You have always been seen, and this very act of witnessing marks the beginning of healing.

Water: Flow and Purification

Water is the cleanser and a symbol of emotion. We guide the client to place the burden—perhaps imagined as a dark stone or a tainted mass—into flowing, living water: a stream, a river, or a waterfall. Watching the current carry it away, washing it clean until it vanishes entirely. This ritual offers frozen emotions a channel to flow, symbolizing the release of stagnant pain back into the great river of life.

Earth: Acceptance and Transformation

Earth is the mother of all, the unconditional holder. In the imagination, we solemnly bury the burden deep in the soil. This is not abandonment but an act of entrusting. We trust Mother Earth to decompose and transform it into nourishment for new life. This gesture provides profound safety and belonging—a message that even the most unbearable pain can be fully embraced and eventually give birth to new vitality.

Fire: Transformation and Resolution

Fire is a powerful agent of energetic change. When facing particularly stubborn, clinging burdens—such as deep-seated shame—we may call upon the image of fire. Envision placing it into a sacred bonfire, watching it turn into light, heat, and a wisp of smoke in the flames. This symbolizes a decisive energetic shift: from a heavy material form into an ethereal state of energy, clearing sacred space for renewal.

Wind: Release and Clarity

Wind is the messenger, the breath. We may also bring the burden to an imagined mountaintop, lift it in our hands, and invite the spirit of the wind to scatter it into the boundless sky. This brings a sense of complete release and mental clarity—as if a fog of congestion has been swept from the heart, making way for the fresh breath of freedom.

The Therapist: Navigator of the Healing Ritual

As Xuan closes her eyes and continues the visualization process, I offer her the four elements from shamanic culture. She then chooses how to process the cassette tape in a way that resonates most deeply within her. Xuan might say, “I walk to a gravesite, as if visiting during Qingming Festival, and I throw the tape into a large fire.” I might then gently guide her: “Observe the flames, watching as the tape gradually burns away and transforms into air.”

This stage may last three minutes or perhaps twenty. The process may encounter obstacles—for instance, a sudden gust of wind might extinguish the fire. Or it may proceed smoothly, with the sense of many companions supporting her in the visualization. In therapy, there is no way to predict exactly how each person’s ritual will unfold.

In the “unburdening” ritual of IFS, the therapist’s role is more that of a skilled navigator and an empathetic witness rather than a directive leader. I often feel that IFS is a therapy that takes the person-centered philosophy of humanistic approaches to its fullest expression—it places immense trust in the client’s innate wisdom and capacity for healing. For clients who are accustomed to high levels of self-control and logical reasoning, this ritual, led entirely by their own “Self,” holds particularly liberating power.

My work as a therapist is to actively safeguard this process, offering guidance only when needed to support the completion of their inner ritual. I listen as they describe how their imagery transforms and how their emotions flow. It is in such moments of witnessing that I have observed many profound and indescribable experiences: some clients are suddenly swept up by emotions suppressed for years (From Darkness to Light: The Imagery Transformation of Client Rose), while others, who have long suffered from a tangible “heaviness in the chest” undetectable by medical exams, watch in their imagination as that weight dissolves in light or is carried away by flowing water.

Each of these moments deeply moves me and fills me with pride for the profound significance of my profession—we have the privilege of safeguarding and witnessing the innate healing power within a person as it unfolds.

When the burden of the “exile” is lifted, it is like a deep wound finally cleansed. Yet this does not mark the end of healing but the beginning of a new phase: the growth and integration of new tissue. Other parts of the system need time to adapt, trust, and rebuild relationships.

This is precisely what we will explore in the next chapter.

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作者：秦小杰

时间：2026年2月

当我们成功用“等候室”的技巧，将流放者的保护者暂时安放在那里时。我们就可以进入到跟流放者工作的环节了：去负担化。

一个背着负担的流放者，当他没有这些负担了，他是什么呢？没有没听过那句话，我们要保有一颗童心。当流放者从系统紊乱中的痛苦状态中疗愈后，他会回归到其本质：一个有着强烈好奇心的孩童，一个听着音乐会随之摇摆的舞者，一个具有能力能去感受爱和悲伤的有机生物体。

作为一名追求实证的咨询师，也是作为一名相信体验力量的练习者，IFS的去负担化环节，甚是一个重制内部感知系统的借鉴古老智慧和仪式的洗礼，在我看来就是用科学的方式去应用古老的智慧。

内在家庭系统治疗（IFS）流放者工作的四部曲

在详细展开这一章的核心理念与应用之前，我们不妨先简要回顾一下跟流放者工作的步骤。

为帮助大家更好地理解与掌握，在接下来的讲解中，我将延续使用来访者“璇璇”的案例来进行说明。需要特别说明的是，下文铺垫于咨询中真实出现的‘胸口有一盘磁带’的具体意象。之后，为了清晰、结构化地展示每一个咨询环节应如何操作，我进行了编撰展示性重构与演示。

第一步：先让来访与“真我”连接。跟我工作过的人，都知道，无论是群里的工作坊，还是个体咨询，我会经常用呼吸训练来开始或结束一个活动。这个看似无聊而浪费时间的活动，其实是我们和“真我”连接的最简单有效的方式。

第二步：定位和具体化。去定位痛苦是在身体或者心灵的位置，然后让这个痛苦意想化。比如说，在来访璇璇的咨询故事第二章，她讲到胸口有一盘磁带，不停的播放责备她的录音。我们可以更多的让这些录音的声音是男是女，有多大年纪，语速快还是慢等具体化的方式来理解这个‘负担’。也许璇璇会说：这个声音是四十多岁的男性的声音，好像和我爸爸的声音很像，他很生气，在我面前，比我高好多好多，好像随时要把我拎起来，给我两下。

第三步：见证和分离。我会仔细观察璇璇的呼吸速度和深度、以及她的表情。轻声提醒让她持续同时也关注到自己的呼吸，保持跟“真我”的连接。同时，如果使用一个较强的引导，我可能描述到：请你的“真我”，那个拥有智慧、力量和同理心的真我，轻轻的伸手去，像一个技艺高超的外科医生，柔和而精准的把这盘磁带从你胸口取出来，放到手术托盘上，然后很娴熟的缝上这个开口。你去看看这个磁带，没有在胸口里随着心跳和呼吸了，这盘磁带的声音减弱下来，也许等到下一刻就停止了播放，我们一起在这里看着这盘磁带。

第四步：释放和转化，也是这个环节的核心步骤，由萨满的四大元素来洗礼的选项。 释放和转换主要依赖于自然届最重要的四大元素：水、火、大地、风。我们所调动的，并非某个神秘的理论概念，而是全人类共享的感官与生存记忆。

我在巴西感受的那场让我记忆深刻的萨满仪式：里面有火，有大地，室外的微风，当然我们每个人身边都有水杯。在我们的中国文化里，也有金木水火土。那么萨满文化，一个很难追寻是起源于哪里的文化，因为在世界各地都找到了类似的习俗，也是最古老的习俗了,可以理解为人类共同的潜意识的呈现。

IFS的去负担化的过程， 将萨满传统中关于释放与转化的古老直觉，翻译成了一套现代心灵可以理解、可以安全操作的内在仪式语言。痛苦需要被体验、见证，然后以一种可感知的方式“离开”身体。这正是全球萨满传统数千年来在做的事：通过仪式，将病痛或邪灵（象征性的负担）从个体中驱逐或转化。

疗愈的仪式：与人类的集体感官记忆对话

第四步萨满仪式在咨询中，通常是以闭眼后，通过头脑构建的想象而引发的感官重制，无论是净化、转化还是重生，都是一种深刻的心理象征语言，用以与我们的潜意识直接对话。

（基于我对萨满文化了解教浅，尽管我有部分体验和些许的了解，基于我希望能较准确的提炼萨满文化，以下写作部分主要由我提问、反问、矫正符合我的看法后，由Deepseek完成对萨满文化的讲解。）

萨满文化选用的元素——光/火、水、大地、火、风——并非偶然。它们之所以能成为疗愈的通用语言，是因为：它们是生存的前提。寻求其他星球是否有生命迹象时，我们也是在找这些元素；它们是普世的感官体验：无论来自雨林、沙漠还是冰原，一个孩子都能理解阳光照在皮肤上的温暖，流水拂过手心的清凉，泥土在指间的厚重，火焰带来的光亮与热度，以及清风拂面的舒爽。这些体验绕过了所有文化和语言的屏障，直达我们的神经系统；它们构成最基础的隐喻系统：我们的语言和思维本身就建立在它们之上。“心里沉重如石”（大地）、“情绪决堤”（水）、“光明的希望”（光）、“燃烧的激情”（火）、“如释重负，松一口气”（风）。这些不是文学修辞，而是我们用身体理解世界的本能方式。

火/光：觉察与消融

火光是最终的净化者。在仪式中，我们邀请来访者想象一束温暖、慈悲的光照耀在那份沉重的负担上。这光代表着“真我”的觉察与无条件的爱。负担在光中不再狰狞，它会像冰一样融化，或如晨雾般消散。这个意象，是在对流放者说：你一直被看见，而这份看见本身，便是疗愈的开始。

水：流动与净化

水是清洁者，也是情感的象征。我们引导来访者将负担（可能被想象成一块黑石或一团污秽）放入流动的活水——溪流、江河或瀑布中。看着水流带走它、冲刷它，直到它消失无踪。这个仪式，赋予了冻结的情感一个流动的出口，象征着那些卡住的痛苦终于得以释放、归入生命的洪流。

大地：接纳与转化

大地是万物之母，是无条件的承载者。在想象中，我们将负担郑重地埋葬于土壤深处。这并非丢弃，而是托付。我们信任大地母亲能将其分解、转化，成为滋养新生的养分。这个动作，给予了最深沉的安全感与归属感，意味着即使最不堪的痛苦，也能被全然接纳，并最终孕育出新的生命力量。

火：转化与决断

火是强大的能量转化者。面对那些特别顽固、黏着的负担（如根深蒂固的羞耻），我们可能借助火的意象。想象将其投入神圣的篝火，看着它在烈焰中化为光、热与一缕青烟。这象征着一种决绝的能量转化，将沉重的物质形态彻底转变为轻盈的能量形态，为新生腾出纯净的空间。

风：释放与清晰

风是信使，是呼吸。我们也可以将负担带到想象的山巅，双手捧起，请风之灵将其吹散，融入无尽的虚空。这带来一种彻底的释放感与思想的清明，仿佛心中淤塞的迷雾被一扫而空，重新呼吸到自由的空气。

咨询师：疗愈仪式的守航人

璇璇的这盘磁带，在她闭眼持续意念化的过程中。我会提供给她萨满文化中的四个元素，她会根据符合自己内心的方式去处理这盘磁带。璇璇也许会说：“我走到坟墓前，像是清明节扫墓一样，我会把它扔进大火中。”我会提示到：“去观察这些火苗，观察到胶条一点点被烧掉化作空气的过程。”这个阶段也许会持续三分钟，也许二十分钟。这个过程也许会出现阻碍，例如一阵风吹过来，火灭了。也许非常顺利，意念中有很多人陪着她。

在咨询中，这些都无法预测每一个人的仪式将会如何进行。

在IFS的“去负担化”仪式中，咨询师的角色更像一位专业的守航人和深情的见证者，而非主导的指挥者。我时常觉得，IFS是一种将人本主义的“以来访者为中心”哲学发挥到极致的疗法——它无比信任来访者内在的智慧与疗愈本能。对于那些习惯于高度自我控制、逻辑先行的来访者，这种由他们的“真我”完全主导的仪式，尤其具有解放性的力量。

我的工作，就是在一旁主动地守护，需要协助时引导完成这场内心的仪式。我倾听他们描述意象如何转换，感受如何流动。正是在这样的见证中，我目睹过许多难以言喻的时刻：有的来访者会突然被压抑多年的情绪席卷（从黑暗到光明：来访蕊芬的意象转变）；有的则长期被一种医院检查不出的、实感般的“胸口重压”所苦，却在一次意象中，看着那重物被光消融或被水流带走。

每一次这样的时刻，都让我深受感动，也让我为自己职业的深远意义感到骄傲——我们有幸守护并见证一个人内在的疗愈力量自行运作。

当“流放者”的负担被卸下，就如同一个深层的伤口终于被清理干净。但这并不意味着疗愈的结束，而是一个新阶段的开始：新生组织的生长与整合。系统的其他部分需要时间来适应、信任并重新建立关系。

这，就是我们下一章要探讨的内容。