Search this site

On 20th May 2017, CandleX ran a mental health workshop for Chinese students who are soon to go to top universities in the USA. It’s reported that around 450,000 Chinese went overseas for education in 2014 (2015年出国留学发展状况调查报告，2015). Many are teenagers that are moving overseas for the first time in their life, at the stage of transitioning into their early adult life. Although it’s exciting, many have been experiencing tough times, especially their first year in school in a foreign country. In order to prepare the students for possible adversities for their life abroad, we were invited to run a workshop for the 2017 students by ESC to give them the knowledge to understand these new challenges, and the tools to respond to them. This is the second time we ran the workshops for ESC (Elite Scholars of China) students before their departure. These workshops have the objective to discuss culture shock, self-care, how to help others who may be experiencing distress, and how to stay emotionally healthy. As always, we use heavy student participation throughout our workshops to ensure that the students can incorporate the knowledge quickly and efficiently. We’ve collected the feedback from the participants to assess our workshop’s outcome and benefits. According to the results, more than 80% of participants reported that they “absolutely” find the workshop useful, and have thus gained the skills needed to take care of themselves. The information on depression and suicide was well received, as they reported. It’s a quite a difficult topic to bring up to students who are leaving in just a few months’ time to go off and pursue their hopes and dreams, but we are happy to see that an education company like ESC have taken an extra step to make sure that their students not only enter top universities, but that they complete their studies as well. If you’d like to promote mental health to your audiences, please contact us at: info@candlex.cn #Beijing #depression #bipolar #China

CandleX seeks to raise awareness about depression and bi-polar disorder. It is important to, as a community, increase our resilience to mental illness and reduce the associated stigma. CandleX would like to scale up our interactive presentations and workshops in and around Beijing’s local international community so as to assist in this transition. WORKSHOP FORMAT Our interactive workshops can be conducted in schools, communities, organizations, and companies. Each presentation or workshop session is between 90 and 120 minutes long and includes activities such as a formal presentation, movie screening, and an open discussion tailored to the audience with role-play and group games incorporated. See below, for a summary of the Depression Workshop provided for The British Council of Beijing. CandleX strives to continue raising the awareness of mental illnesses and hopes that more people will join in. Together, we are more aware of our own mental well-being, and cultivate self-acceptance and self-love, we learn to help one another when our friends, family members or colleagues fall into a depressive mode, and, as a community, we become more resilient against depression. We’d like to invite you all be part of the light that shines into the dark corners. Here are the 3 simple ways that you can contribute: Talk to your HR manager and we can come deliver a workshop for the staff. Talk to your friends community, and we can come to your event and make a presentation. Talk to your school counsellors and management, we can come to your school to deliver a workshop for the students. #mentalhealth #Beijing #bipolar #depression

On the 1st of March 2017 CandleX gave a special workshop for international students at The Regent’s International School in Bangkok, Thailand. This event was the first, but surely not the last one outside of China. The workshop was held during a psychology class for upper class students. The twenty or so students, coming from a variety of countries, were all 16-17 years of age, thus already preparing for the tertiary education. The main topic of the lecture was ways of dealing with depression and involved a variety of activities, such as body movement, group exercises, and discussion. The event was led by Xiaojie Qin – the founder and executive director of CandleX, hosted by local psychology teacher. The workshop began with a viewing of a documentary that CandleX made back in 2015. The documentary touches upon the topic of depression and is called “The Tiny Little Box: A Documentary on Depression”. While watching the short documentary, they students are asked to find answers to the questions about mental health that that they were asked to write down at the beginning of the workshop. The students had a chance to reflect on the documentary, ask questions about it and discuss their thoughts and feeling. Later on everyone separated into several groups and had discussions based on their personally chosen topics. The topics chosen by students were: how to deal with depression, how to help others who have depression; culture and depression (as students all come from different nations and backgrounds, they were keen on bringing up their cultural upbringings and religious perspectives towards mental health); the causes of depression. The students also had a chance to learn about ways to deal with one’s emotions, how to release stress and agitation, and where to find resources when dealing with difficult time. The students were very attentive and interested in these matters, as quite a few of them would like to continue psychological and mental health work themselves. The students were also introduced to the activities of CandleX in China, its approach, and support of the international community. This workshop was a great step towards expanding the organization’s work abroad and it is expected that both attendees of the events and the volunteers at CandleX will continue the spread of mental health awareness and support around the world. #Beijing #depression #mentalhealth

On the 19th of February, 2017 CandleX held a Mental Health workshop for international students who are currently studying and/or interning at CET programs (Middbury program in China, Beijing Internship and Beijing Language). The workshop was intended to help students prepare for a new life in Beijing and teach them the best ways to handle various challenges, such as culture shock, isolation or distress. This workshop also focused on adapting to a foreign culture and how overwhelming such an experience may be, especially for those staying in China for a short term. It is well known that people who stay in a foreign country for a short period are at more risk to feel distressed, as they do not have a lot of time to get used to their environment, especially for young adults. The approximately two-hour-long workshop was filled with both educational information and improvised jokes, lightening the mood of an overall heavy discussion. The event was attended by around 40 university students, who were mostly of US citizenship, but coming from various cultural backgrounds. These students are all from top universities and are staying in China for only a short-time. The event was led by two co-facilitators from CandleX – Xiaojie Qin (founder and executive director) and Melena Slaven (mental health consultant). Various psychological topics, such as emotions, mental health, mental disorders and ways to care for oneself and others were included in the workshop. The event began with a basic introduction to the range of human emotions and their understanding – emotional intelligence. The students became familiar with a wide variety of emotions, their intensity and where in the body one might feel a certain emotion. An important take-away from this part was that there are no good or bad feelings/emotions, only good or bad reactions to those feelings. One should accept the whole array of feelings as part of one’s complex life. The next part of the presentation dealt with the experiences of culture shock that many foreigners may face when coming to China. Everything is different – the food, the environment, the language. It may, unsurprisingly, cause anxiety and even alienation. Everyone experiences the culture shock differently and the presentation vividly showed that it may take a longer time for some people to get used to the new environment or that feeling of anxiety may come and go with time. A very specific topic to Beijing – smog, was also touched upon. It was no surprise to the students that pollution may affect one’s mental health. However, it makes it much worse for those who already have an illness, as smog may only aggravate the symptoms. The following part of the workshop talked a lot about the differences between simply having a bad day and a depressive disorder. In many cultures depression is still a taboo topic and is not recognized as a serious disease. The students were given a lot of statistical facts and information about mental health around the world and various symptoms of two leading mental disorders – depression and bipolar disorder. The last part of the workshop touched upon the strategies of taking care of oneself during difficult times. A slew of different ways and principles were introduced that may help the students assist their own emotions and those around them. A lot of information has been taken from CandleX Classroom series where anyone can learn more about mental health. The main lesson from this workshop was that expats who are staying in a foreign country for a short-time usually have a lot more difficulties adapting than those who reside somewhere long-term. One not only needs to quickly learn the culture and the opportunities new city provides, but also find ways to take care of oneself when there is a lack of a regular social or medical support. If you work with students, and you are looking for ways to promote mental health for them, please contact us via info@candlex.cn Join us to build the resilience against mental illness. #Beijing #mentalhealth #teens #teenagers #workshop

Since CandleX started, we have been invited to provide mental health workshops and presentations in and out of school for teenagers. Given the concerning prevalence and severity of mental health issues amongst teenagers, we are now offering more support to this age group. CandleX’s Mental Health for Teens Program: Goals: to reduce social stigma of mental health on campus; to provide tools and local resources for mental health wellbeing; and to raise awareness of the importance of peer support Public education: delivered through talks and interactive workshops Target group: schools and education agencies that work with teens Teenagers in China Research shows that students in China have some of the highest-ranking results in academic proficiency. However, this success comes at a price. Chinese teenagers are also reported to have some of the highest stress and anxiety levels in the world, higher than not only their counterparts in the West, but also neighboring South Korea and Japan. Like their international counterparts, Chinese high schoolers face academic difficulties, vigorous exam preparation and competitive university application process. China’s high schoolers and college students are experiencing high levels of anxiety and stress. While preparing for the exams, the students also feel pressure from their parents and teachers to deliver high results and bring honor to their family through succeeding in college entrance exams. As the majority of adolescents in present-day China are single children, they are under even more pressure and fear disappointing their parents and family. In addition, the teenagers in China face some problems that are unique to this nation due to the changing social environment. Due to the rapid economic and political transformation, the youngest generation cannot keep up with the rising competition in the academic and career life, thus leading to anxiety and chronic stress. There is also a lack of mental health services. The students do not receive sufficient mental health education in the schools. Therefore, their families have difficulties dealing with the troubling emotions. Moreover, even if available, pupils rarely take advantage of the services at schools, as they tend to be unaware of their own issues. This is one of the most important problems and CandleX would like to step in to help combat the overwhelming social stigma towards mental health in China. The previous problems cause much distress to the students, however, the undermining of the psychological issues and even social isolation or bullying from their peers that comes with it pushes many more into the darkness. Foreign Teenagers | Beijing’s context In addition to the local Chinese students, there are many foreign students who come to China on short-term academic exchanges or internship programs. These adolescents face a different set of troubles, from feeling societal isolation to adapting and confronting cultural shock. A similar situation may await the Chinese high schoolers, who wish to go to a college abroad. They also need to learn new cultural and communicational skills to function well in an unfamiliar environment. These students, who lack mental health preparation for the move abroad, are the target group of CandleX’s services. CandleX’s Effort CandleX has been doing its best to provide emotional help for the teenagers (high schoolers, exchange students, students preparing for college and so on) in China through various personalized workshops and talks. By talking and giving names to the emotions, the students may feel more comfortable in facing negative moods and even learn how to manage their emotional well-being. Mental health presentation at Dulwich College 2016 Since CandleX began, it has been actively providing help for teenagers in China (and abroad). The service mainly consists of workshops and interactive presentations for international and Chinese students. In the past year, CandleX has given talks and workshops in various institutions around Beijing such as international high schools (Dulwich College Beijing), preparatory institutes for American colleges (ESC Scholars) and CET who provides services for foreign interns in Beijing. The contents of the workshops were customized to each student body. Some of the workshops focused more on cultural shock or ways to adapt in a new foreign environment, in the case of Chinese students heading to the USA or international students doing short-term internships in China. Other workshops dealt with emotional release, ways to deal with academic stress, depression, and approaching university life. Mental health workshop with CET 2017 For more information on our previous work, head over to www.candlex.cn/teens/ or click on “read more” at the bottom to find out What CandleX offers? We aim to raise awareness and reduce stigma through interactive workshops and talks, and providing tools and local resources of mental health services. Depending on the needs of the school or company, we are able to tailor our workshops for a more focused theme: Emotional wellbeing Resilience building Stress reduction Improve mental health environment in school Anti-bullying Suicide prevention #teenagers #beijing #mentalhealth

Depression in Beijing is hidden, unspoken, and paid little attention. On August 19th 2016, in an attempt to respond to that, Culture Yard, situated in the beautiful HuTongs of BeiXinQiao, hosted a screening of the CandleX documentary entitled “The Tiny Little Box.” This CandleX production was shot in Thailand in 2015, and follows the struggles of depression for four individuals, as well as the stories of two mindfulness practitioners. Uchechi from Culture Yard opened the event by welcoming the CandleX team of XiaoJie, Peter, Brad, and Luna. Peter then introduced CandleX’s current and past projects, and the documentary. After the documentary screening, Xiaojie led a group discussion on various topics related to depression. As the people in the documentary gave their testimonies, you could see the responses from the audience. Everyone was nodding, as if to say, “I know that feeling,” some were even whispering to the person next to them saying, “I can’t believe someone has had the exact same experience as me.” The documentary opens up the conversation about depression and gets people speaking. This is why CandleX is devoted to sharing this documentary with others. Through an open dialogue, we all find peace and positivity, and sometimes we need these video testimonials to help us open up and find positivity in depression. If opening a dialogue about depression is our goal in the fight against depression, then what should this dialogue be about? After the screening, the floor opened for some group interaction. A man shared his personal strategies for beating his own depression. Another spoke about the efforts in China geared toward improving mental health. Another shared some great resources everyone can use in their daily lives to overcome their depression symptoms. The atmosphere was light and engaging, and at times, even fun; not the types of words usually associated with depression. What became apparent was that if we keep the discussion positive by talking more about specific strategies and success stories, then it will breed more hopefulness and optimism. And it is with that positive emotion that we can make depression become a topic more people will be willing and able to talk about. #TheTinyLittleBox #depression #Beijing #China #mentalhealth

Meditation is a mind exercise that can help us to achieve inner peach. It helps us to bring our mind back to the present moment and spend less time feeling worried about the past or the future. On Sunday 20th March, CandleX held its second Intro to Meditation session at the C!Here space in the MOMA complex. 19 participants joined in this event, which was comprised of two sections. We began the session with a discussion about different kinds of meditation and followed on from this by following an online guided meditation led by Porchlay Seng, an experienced meditation master and peach coach from Peace Revolution, Cambodia. The discussion focused on four different types of meditations: Attention, Mindfulness, Passage and Benevolent. We discussed how to practice each type of meditation. For example, in Mindfulness meditation people think about their ‘happy place’. People were also advised to begin with trying to mediate for short stints of 5 – 10 seconds. The length of an individual session can be increased with time. The idea is not to stop thinking but to resist grasping onto the thoughts and rather allow them to simply slip away. Benevolent meditation focuses on creating a sense of love and belonging. A suggested way to achieve this is through repeating a mantra over and over again such as “I am doing enough, I have enough, I am enough,” or “May I be happy, may I be free of suffering, may I be healthy, may I be at ease.” About half of the participants were new to meditation and the other half had meditated a bit before. People discussed what parts of meditation they found difficult. When beginning a meditation practice, any starting point is good. Like all things in life it takes work and practice to improve and become comfortable with a practice. We closed the session by providing resources for those seeking to develop a mediation practice. Online Resources: Peace Revolution Offline Resources in Beijing: The Beijing Mindfulness Center Offline Resources out of Beijing: The New Life Foundation, Thailand Vipassana #meditation #beijing #mentalhealth #depression

On Sunday afternoon, March 6th 2016, CandleX hosted its first Intro to Meditation session. The event was held at the house of one of the community members and led by CandleX’s facilitator Xiaojie. Seven people participated in the event, which included a discussion of concepts and styles of meditation and a guided meditation session. We discussed the following types of meditation; Attention, Mindfulness, Passage and Benevolent. Participants were instructed to focus on whichever technique they were automatically drawn to. The idea that meditation can help calm the mind and bring it peace is not a new concept. However, most people don’t actually understand the full intent of meditation. With instruction and practice participants were able to relax and gain a better understanding of the benefits of meditation and whether or not it would be something that could help them moving forward. At the end of the session the attendees expressed their new understandings and feelings about meditation. In the recent decade, Yoga has become increasingly popular and many comparisons were made between the two. Some of the participants found it harder to relax in Yoga because of the constant movement and sometimes quite technical positions, while others thought meditation was harder because there was nothing specific that their minds could focus on. The participants left with a sense of satisfaction about their new knowledge and abilities. The session concluded with suggestions of local and online resources that those who want to continue the practice of meditation can access. The local resources include, The Beijing Mindfulness Center and daoscape.com. The online resources include: Peace Revolution and Chopra Center Meditation. #Beijing #meditation #mentalhealth #depression

CandleX hosted a “Bi-polar Disorder Reality Check” at the Peking University Affiliated High School. This was the first time that CandleX held a workshop in a public high school. CandleX is very excited to begin the sort of interaction and relationship with public school students in Beijing. The senior years of high school are a stressful period as students prepare to write their final standardized test. The results of this test will determine their future university admission potential. Students also need to decide which major they would like to pursue and this is a decision that can also increase stress levels. Knowing how to identify and manage negative and stress driven emotions can help students get through this difficult period more easily. CandleX hosted a workshop with the students with the intention of raising awareness about mental health and also helping the students to develop coping strategies. The students responded well to this content and we hope that they will find some benefit in the coming weeks as they face their exams. CandleX founder, Xiaojie Qin, says. “I think of CandleX as a person that travels around to plant seeds.” Mental health is often ignored in our society and if by raising awareness and introducing people to the importance of taking care of one’s mental health we are helping these concepts to take root and grow. The younger generations are the future and by giving them the opportunity to learn about and consider mental health we hope to propagate these kinds of healthy habits in the future of our society.

Times have changed; We are living during a global pandemic and life as we knew it no longer exists. Most of us have been on lockdown in our homes for at least two months and all of our hopes, dreams, and plans are at the least interrupted, and some are put on hold for now. However, we are strong and we know that life must go on so we are learning how to do things differently. This year, CandleX’s annual workshop with Elite Scholars of China was moved online using GoToMeeting. Moving from China to the United States to further one’s education is exciting, yet can be scary too! On April 26th, 2020 CandleX’s mental health consultant, Melena Slaven, presented to a group of students who are planning to go to some of the top universities in the US. Many have already been accepted and are counting down the days of their departure (watching and waiting for flights to open)! While most of them have visited the US they realize that living there long-term has new challenges. Melena Slaven, M.A., CRC, NCC The workshop was given to prepare the students for their life abroad. We know they have such questions as: How do I cope with stress in college? How do I care for my emotional well-being in a new place? What if my roommate talks about suicide? What mental health issues commonly affect college students? What are the cultural differences between Chinese and Americans? Students were given information and tools to use in their everyday life. Topics that were covered included culture shock, peer pressure, signs of depression and suicide, self-care, seeking help, and making friends. Students were encouraged to build a social network as soon as possible after their arrival. Students were shown how to use the Meetup app as a way to make friends easily and were encouraged to download the increasingly popular Headspace app that is used for guided meditation. We collected the feedback from the participants to assess our workshop’s outcomes and benefits. Students described the workshop as: helpful and straightforward. 100% of the respondents said that they would recommend the workshop to a friend. 100% of the respondents stated that the workshop gave them ideas on how to take care of themselves. And, 100% of the respondents said they now understand depression better after the workshop. This is the fifth year CandleX has collaborated with ESC and every year we make changes to the workshop to best meet the students’ wants and needs. Good luck to this year’s participants. CandleX is wishing you success and all the best in your future endeavors. #mentalhealth #teens #Beijing #China #depression #psychosocialsupport

When you think of what you might enjoy doing on any given weekend, what comes to mind? Relaxing with loved ones, family, or friends? Taking a pet for a leisurely walk outside and enjoying nature? Learning about something new? Eating a big and delicious meal? Well, it just so happens that on March 21st CandleX was able to combine all of these activities into our very successful third dog event! For this outing, we took our time strolling through the Beijing hutongs with our furry family members, learned some interesting bits of history along the way, and at the end of our walk sat down to a much-anticipated meal at a wonderful Yunnanese restaurant. We began gathering around 9 a.m. at Shichahai subway station, waking ourselves up with warm beverages and good conversation. All our doggies received snacks for the walk, provided by Real 鲜食宠鲜粮. Once everyone arrived, we set off on our adventure! As expected, the dogs took the lead! We started with a relaxing walk along the beautiful Jade River, which really stands up to its name! Some of the dogs were keener to explore than others, but everyone enjoyed the scenery and the clear, refreshing morning air. Soon we moved into the winding alleyways of the hutong neighborhoods in the heart of Beijing. This was the most educational part of our day. Our doggy friends were probably less interested in learning the history behind how the hutongs got their name, or the important information doorway architecture and decoration can provide (Have you ever wondered what the different numbers of beams above some doorways might signify, or why a house might have stone drums or books on either side of its threshold?), but the human participants soaked up these tidbits with interest! As our walk progressed, we didn’t limit ourselves to looking and learning history. The time also gave us an opportunity to get to know each other. What a wonderful way to make new human and canine friends!After about an hour and a half of exploration we sat down to the wonderful food and homey atmosphere of Yun’er Town, nestled among the buildings and shops along scenic Beiluoguxiang.What a fantastic place to rest after our walk and build upon the friendships begun in the morning. Great food, great conversation, and plenty of play—definitely among the best ways to spend a weekend morning! Thank you to everyone, dog and human, who participated.We will be hosting dog events throughout the year, so if you missed this one and are keen to join us in the future, please join our Dog Event WeChat group to stay in touch! The funds raised by our dog events and donations go to a good cause—the CandleX Mental Health Pre-treatment Guidance Project. Your support enables CandleX to keep our mental health resources and services accessible to those who are in need, regardless of their financial capability. We would like to thank our photographer, Yang Zhou, for capturing all the fun of the day. We would also like to thank our sponsor, Real 鲜食宠鲜粮, for their continued support, for providing the dog snacks and for donating a portion of their sales to our project. Special thanks to Lost Plate Food Tours for providing us with the hutong walking route. Feel free to check out their authentic local food tours in Beijing! CandleX’s Resources Are you or a friend in a Crisis? Crisis Support Your questions on mental health | CandleX Classroom https://www.candlex.cn/classroom Depression stories from our community members (both adults and teens) CandleX Column | Community Writing https://www.candlex.cn/community-writing Pretreatment CandleX Wechat Groups all ages, add our admin: niama_elazzab for 15-22 year old, add our admin: amaraprenderyya Peer Support Group biweekly meetings and biweekly hangout

Author: Nathan Williams Edited in 2021 “Hello everyone, I wish I could be there tonight to be among you all, you who want to know more, you who want to share and especially the men who are there, being brave. “Come over to mine tonight and we’ll talk it out”… …That’s what I said to my friend Alex after one of his deep depressive episodes. He disappeared for a week without a word. When he came back I wanted to really understand and help him. I thought all he needed was a good reflective session with a friend and time to find some solutions to all of his problems - or at the very least, a few ways forward to make the first step. After 4 hours and a few bottles of wine, we started arguing, he started treating it as a joke and I was annoyed that he mocked my help. I didn’t understand back then, but luckily he forgave me, we brushed it under the rug and carried on our friendship, which was by all accounts - was a truly fantastic one with many happy memories with many adventures! He was a brilliant actor, I made films, he acted in them. On occasion we would both act in the same play and after rehearsal we would go to the local pub “The Lichfield Vaults” or “The Barrels” depending on our mood - Alex’s usual was a pint of ale and a whiskey chaser… which soon became my go-to combination. In 2015 I had just got a promotion, my relationship with my girlfriend was starting to fall apart and my family was in the middle of a feud that was extremely vicious. I’ve always been the diplomatic one, I try to be kind and I try my best to put myself in other people’s shoes. Like my failed rescue attempt with Alex, I could not stop my family falling apart; I couldn’t find the right words to save my relationship and my work load increased almost daily. To make my family happy I had to pick a side and forsake other family members, my girlfriend wanted me to give up on a major part of who I was because she wasn’t willing to change - it felt like the entire world was bullying me to move and all I wanted to do was be still. Alex was the only person who noticed the change in me and encouraged me to go to the doctors. I had started to have random anxiety attacks in public, I broke out in tears queuing for coffee in Starbucks, I couldn’t get out of bed in the morning and I was gaining weight. The doctor put me on anti-depressants and Alex, for a time, was my only comfort. My girlfriend was no comfort; she had suffered from depression and anorexia as a teenager and consequently, never took mine seriously. It almost felt like the very notion I was depressed was an insult to her. At first, I struggled to take ownership of my reality - I hadn’t struggled to eat and been forced to like she had. Like Alex, I hadn’t booked out a hotel room with the intention of killing myself (that’s where he went during his depressive episode by the way). How could I complain? My depression wasn’t half as bad as all that, I felt like a fraud. After a few months the medication really kicked in, I felt more balanced yet numb; my weight came down because I was exercising. One night I had a seizure - a possible side effect of the meds I was on. I was worried it could happen at any time so I had to come clean - with everyone. I told work and they were actually really great, more supportive and understanding than I could possibly imagine. The first thing my mother did was hug me and for the first time in a long time, my family listened to what I had to say. One night, writing in my journal I realized that I was in mourning. I was mourning for the death of who I used to be. That version of me was a real go-getter, he embraced life with such energy - he was the master of his own destiny. But then the real epiphany came, that “go-getter” also lead me to this point. He was partly to blame for where I am now. So then I thought what if that old version of me hadn’t got everything figured out? Suddenly my opinion of depression flipped - I wasn’t cursed, I was given a superpower. What if, with this new view of the world, I could build a version of me that wasn’t going to break down like the last one did? Suddenly I saw myself as a vintage car: I need a new engine and sturdier tires- but I wanna keep the original dash board and leather seats. I thought about what I wanted to keep and what I needed to fix. Slowly, I began to build myself up. It wasn’t easy and to say I had my setbacks is an understatement, I’ve spent many a night drinking myself to oblivion and neglected my health. But 3 years on I am no longer on anti-depressants and as much as I can, I cut negativity and negative people out of my life. In 2017, Alex killed himself. At the time, I consoled myself that he wanted to do it, it was his choice. I’m not sure if I believe that anymore. Like myself, Alex didn’t hate life, he loved it, he had so much empathy and he cared for his friends and family. The weight of all that love became too heavy for him. He wanted to build communities and make people’s lives better - he just didn’t know how. In the wake of his passing, a trust was set up in his name “The Alex Evans Fund” - it helps young people who want to start something creative, be it a play, a film, acting lessons, music lessons - you name it. His older brother moved back home and set up “Powerhouse Studios” - an acting company he is trying to build what Alex couldn’t. Art was made in his name, songs have been written and performed - his legacy after his death is tragically the very thing he was searching for in life. I know Alex would have wanted to be around to see all of this goodness and be a part of his community. Alex was truly brilliant. For anyone hearing these words who are struggling with depression, do not lose hope. It is scary, but taking a chance on yourself could be all you need. When I saw my depression as a superpower, I took a gamble, I planted a seed in my head and I allowed it to grow. When you have depression you focus on how you can’t move forward - but sometimes a sidestep is better. So - think sideways, always, especially when you feel at your lowest. Some days I wish I could stay in bed, but so does everyone else. Most days, I still mourn for that old version of me, I long for him to come back in the same way I long for Alex to come back. The difference is that while I am alive, I have a chance to build something better. However, I will never be able to sit with my old friend and laugh at our jokes - our adventures have sadly come to an end. I’m not sure what anyone will take from this story. Maybe I just want to praise the man he was and say goodbye to the man I was. But from the bottom of my heart, thank you for listening.” If you (or someone you know) are struggling and don’t know where to go from here, our “pre-treatment guidance” program might help you. For a more social approach to support, consider joining one of our bi-weekly peer support group meetings. CandleX is also joining hands with DNC at the cross road of mental health and relationships. Follow them on wechat by scanning the QR code below for more. CandleX’s Resources Are you or a friend in a Crisis? Crisis Support Your questions on mental health | CandleX Classroom https://www.candlex.cn/classroom Depression stories from our community members (both adults and teens) CandleX Column | Community Writing https://www.candlex.cn/community-writing Pretreatment CandleX Wechat Groups all ages, add our admin: niama_elazzab for 15-22 year old, add our admin: amaraprenderyya Peer Support Group biweekly meetings and biweekly hangout